To find the growing narrative of over diagnosis (autism, adhd and mental health) upsetting and draining

[Frazzlesforever]

There seems to be a drip drip of press headlines and change in the conversation that too many people are getting diagnosed. And that some parents are being too pushy to get extra help or trying to get be benefits etc.

As the parent of a high masking autistic girl I had to push for diagnosis although the school just saw a highly compliant, quiet anxious child. My daughter is now extremely mentally unwell through not coping in school, has had to drop out of school missing her gcses, emergency CAMHs involvement - devastating for her and us.

She is exactly the type of child who would fall under the radar. Just an anxious child with over anxious parents. Apparently seeming to cope until she just couldn't. Surely if anything we need better understanding and support for these types of children not less. Otherwise we also risk kicking the problem down the road To severe problems in adulthood. - poor mental health/outcomes etc.

Nasty. Totally unnecessary.

It's a perfect example of what we're up against.

Enjoy the shitty world you've helped create.

Agree with this.

A friend was diagnosed with ADHD in her mid 30's. She'd never been a career high flier as such but had always worked full time in addition to having a really active social life etc. Been away with her a few times over 10 years, she travelled a lot. Then she went through a rough patch where her bf dumped her, she wasn't sure what job she wanted etc. Got therapy for (mild) depression which somehow led to a diagnosis after a year or so.

Five years later and she's working 12 hours a week cleaning for a large company on minumum wage because it's 'all she can safely manage with her adhd'. Her adhd 'affecting her mental health' is all we bloody hear about nowadays. It hasn't helped her at all...she latched onto it as a reason for her troubles and now wields the diagnosis like a shield to explain anything that doesn't go well. It's incredibly sad.

How do dyslexic children mask at school? Or those with dyspraxia? Dyscalculia? Learning disabilities? Epilepsy? Cerebral palsy?

I don't think parents are NEVER to blame but I know so many fantastic, involved, loving parents with kids with AuADHD that it is almost certainly NOT parenting issues in most cases. Add to that the huge changes to education (not for the better) in the last 20 years and it become obvious what the problem is. Also some kids require very different parenting from others.

Hence the parent asking the school...

Possibly, I think it's just the consistency of who is awarded and who is not. Honestly if you saw her you would be shocked how she could have been awarded higher level where as others struggle to get anything.

Also @TheHouse obviously teachers not having any routine training and one size fits all policies - do you not recognise this is at least part of the problem? I think it's almost ALL of the problem.

how would you find out why?
mostly the are given genetic testing

I wish it was bullshit.

The only evidence she supplied was a short note from the school SENCo saying Child is on the pathway for ASD.

Another child I know is on the pathway for ADHD. He also receives high rate care DLA. The reason is the form is that he soils himself, except he doesn’t. Again, the only evidence was a note from school saying Child is on the pathway for ADHD.

I am hopeful the larger house won’t be granted to the fist family as the second family were declined as the child isn’t yet diagnosed.

One mother cottoned on to the fact that if she says her children don’t sleep she will get high rate care DLA. She’s told the community paediatrician they won’t sleep, they’ve prescribed Melatonin based on the mother’s word only. DWP take this prescription as proof the child won’t sleep and she’s got the DLA upgraded. That’s worth about a grand per month per child as the DLA is £558 and then her UC is upped by around £500 for having a very disabled child. Her children are genuinely neurodiverse and have several behavioural difficulties but they all sleep. She’s very open about what she’s doing.

My own son receives DLA (low care and mobility). I’m not against it at all and agree there is a real need for it. It is way too easy to scam though, it’s nothing like PIP.

Nearly every family on the council estate I live by has at least one child diagnosed or “on the pathway”. There is a lot of money to be made from it.

@DeftGoldHedgehog

dear god… training. Oh we have training alright.

Do we have staff to actually implement said training? Also no.

I mean I know teachers are good but they’re not magicians. Maybe we can learn how to be on the next training day!!

The problem as others have pointed out is the expectation that a diagnosis warrants resources.
I actually think the word "need" is really counterproductive as it entails entitlement. Everyone has what they perceive as needs, and if asked diagnosis means attention and resources and the lack of diagnosis means your needs (like safety at school and the need for those who offend against you to be visibly sanctioned) are considered low priority and more often than not completely cast aside, it breaks trust all round.

Well the teachers who dealt with DD2 were not up on autism in girls. They just kept saying she was fine in school and had apparently not heard of masking.

It depends on whether or not you've been masking all that time and can no longer cope
Partner diagnosed as Autistic at 54. I'm awaiting the 2nd part (result) of my ADHD diagnosis, now 54 but had the first part about 4 yes ago. Not helping me cope with chronic health conditions. I suppose from the outside it doesn't seem important but it is in not becoming more chronically I'll and using up ever more NHS resources.
Partner is now getting the support he needs. After a breakdown and heart attack.

I to have a daughter who as she began year 10 after doing amazingly at school always fell apart before our eyes . Anxiety , stomach problems and migraines . Self confidence nosedived she became a she’ll was being treated for the onset of ulcers. During meetings with the school and a wonderful teacher ( not the Sen team who were useless and said she was fine and just get on with it. ) we discovered that a lot of issues she has always had I’ve been telling her they were completely normal and little tips and hacks to get through . Only to be told they aren’t normal and had I considered having an assessment myself. I said no I am almost 50 and have struggled with anxiety and depression but it’s a family thing so I consider myself to be “normal” for want of a better word.
18 months later and I have been diagnosed with Autism / ADHD combined/ RSD/ CPTSD ( caused by the length of time amd extent I’ve been masking) and Dyspraxia.
I thought life was difficult for everyone and happiness was fleeting and I thought everyone struggled with life and it wasn’t fun. I didn’t realise that not everyone doesn’t feel emotional pain physically . I have physical health issues debilitating gastric problems ( since I was 14) ! Vascular problems . Chronic fatigue. Now I’ve been diagnosed and I have received help I am learning that I am wired differently and that knowing this makes life less painful less of a struggle .
my daughter received her diagnosis at an age where she will have the tools to make life good. I found out by default and I didn’t realise that I too could have a happy fulfilling life. Now I will. So I would say receiving a diagnosis at almost 50 was well worth it. We all need to learn what these things can mean. So many people are suffering physically with illness that can’t be helped because doctors are looking in the wrong places at times . Knowledge is key. I would say to anyone if you think it’s there get assessed it may not seem like a problem for you now but with menopause and the constant stress of working against your natural instincts so much damage can be done .

It's really difficult when a child does mask though, I can't write evidence of something I can't see because a parent says it's true. I can say what I can observe in the classroom.

It's unlikely they'd never heard of masking, but it's poor that they said that to you. I know staff in my school wouldn't say that because we've had so much training.

My (now adult) stepdaughter masked her dyslexia very well from poor teachers. "She can read!" Said her senco. "Give her a new book she's never heard read before, that she hasn't learned by heart" replied her mum. She wasn't able to of course, because she was in fact dyslexic. That same senco is still working at that school 20 years later. She also failed to recognise dd's autism.

Dsd is now an adult training to be a teacher. She has adhd comorbid with her dyslexia.

Bright, capable children are surprisingly adept at covering their deficiencies, often by avoiding situations in which they'd be exposed. Of course it doesn't work with epilepsy because it's a visible condition. Ditto cerebral palsy.

I think a lot of people on this thread are taking a hard line one way or the other, when there is truth and nuance to both sides.

Yes, women’s struggles have been overlooked and potentially under diagnosed. But, since the DSM criteria do change over time as we learn more and they also aren’t based on imaging but on (potentially subjective) observation, I think we need to keep an open mind to the possibilities and I strongly suspect that in the future that ASD will divided up into more categories again.

I say this as someone who would now possibly fit the broadened definition of ASD, but no one even considered it for me as a child when the definition was narrower. I have had many may struggles due to ASD traits, but at the same time, my functioning in life is so different to someone who is at the more severe end of the spectrum .

I was diagnosed with ADHD and dyspraxia at university.

I think it is being overdiagnosed. I don’t think having a diagnosis has benefited me or those around me at all. My struggles are mine to deal with. The diagnosis makes no difference to that.

This gave me pause for thought.

I was going through so much shite around my menopause* that it never occurred to me that some of my struggles might be down to anything other than having a shite time and being menopausal.

*marriage breakdown, redundancy, financial problems, physical health problems, to name but a few!

It's an issue.

Any problematic behaviour is quickly labelled ADHD/autism/AuAdhd

There are some young people in the system that have been told over and over and over that they are autistic or ADHD and have little hope of ever leading a normal life because of it.

It's bizarre. Any thread on Mumsnet talking about a child's problematic behaviour will result in posters saying have you considered autism and ADHD.

What is most bizarre is that it is mostly mother's, women, playing into what is arguably a patriarchal psychiatric system.

Even a masking child has 'tells' if you're watching closely enough, or know what to look for. Sometimes they're actually quite obvious - e.g. a child turning up to school in flip-flops due to sensory problems that are clearly evident at home, and then putting school shoes on when they enter a classroom 'no problem'. That behaviour has been witnessed and interpreted (wrongly) by teachers as lack of boundaries within the home environment. Ditto a child who goes silent when spoken to harshly by a teacher interpreted as obstinance/ defiance rather than overwhelm. Or a girl who likes to take the lead in play and struggles when the 'rules' of the game are less predictable, which is interpreted as controlling and difficult, 'likes things her own way, insists on too many rules'. It's actually pretty easy to see that adults quite often wrongly interpret things as behaviour choices, as opposed to anything else - even when parents are screaming to be heard.

Agree!

This idea of masking too is fascinating. It's probably come about with the rise of 'the authentic self'. Like, culture and society used to be less concerned with being 'authentic.' When the issue of the day was how are we going to eat, and be warm, and prepare for winter, say, and contribute to the collective, authentcity would'nt have been so important. Other things were prioritised. You could argue that it's coincided with the more atomised, individualised and narcissistic western culture has become.