Ex ringing 5 times a day

[mothertomany2025]

My boyfriend’s ex partner rings him at least 5 times a day every day and messages, he doesn’t go to family days out with me with my little boy because she will be there is this normal? He says it’s normal co parenting relationship but the calls come really late at night and all through the day every day not always in relation to the children. He’s a good boyfriend apart from this we don’t have issues but she’s constant and I find it really uncomfortable we have booked stuff many times but she will demand the kids back so we can’t take them, she can be nasty but he won’t tell anyone as he says he wants the co parenting relationship to be good

@BerryTwister I think this is the case but we can’t move forward like this xx

This precisely OP. Step away.

@BerryTwister I think I just look jealous ending it over this but I have a child to think of x

Which is what you were advised to do in your thread from last November.
Then you said you'd ended it.

Why are you back with him?

He said he had told her but a few months later things are back to how they were

Why not

if it’s his day with the kids why is she going

So both of you have children who have been introduced already to each other.
Far too soon.

Anyway. He doesn't see you as a priority.

End it.

She booked tickets and told him she’s taking them xx

End it, @mothertomany2025 . His priorities are his kids (quite rightly), his ex, him, you, your DC.

You've hit the nail on the head.

scared of upsetting her but isn’t worried about upsetting me

The thing is, he has to play her game because she probably will use the kids as a weapon against him and he loses access to his children. You will never beat that threat in any situation (and you shouldn't ever win over his children -rightly so), but while he has an ex who is willing to use his children as a pawn; this isnt a viable relationship, because youre at her whim

I'd end it, no matter if it thought he was the most amazing man, a psycho ex using kids as a pawn is too much baggage for me. Its not a normal co-parenting situation, its a psycho ex situation.

Can’t see the point of him really. Wet is really unattractive.

@toomuchfaff so I’m not being a brat being bothered by all the fone calls and messages at all times?

It does not seem likely that this man will ever make you his priority, whatever his reasons for not doing so. I'm sure you can find someone with less baggage.

I would mind any calls and messages, not because I'm a brat, but because they exclude me and I'm only human.
One or two calls/messages are inevitable but your boyfriend is getting far too many

Honestly? It sounds as though you don’t live together. At this point a relationship should still be easy and fun - this sounds exhausting. If you finish with this dude, would you be sad or be relieved that you don’t need to tiptoe around his ex?

She sounds unhinged and he sounds like he doesn't want to let go of the past.....
Firm boundaries need to be put in place for successful co-parenting to work such as only communicating through a parent app and essential communications about the children only between set hours such as 9-5. Only true emergencies should be communicated out of these hours.
Unless he prioritises your relationship, your feelings and needs will always play second fiddle to her demands. You've set a very low bar for yourself already and what you're willing to tolerate within the relationship. This will not go far OP unless you set your own boundaries now which your partner is willing to stick to.
You cannot control what his ex does but he can choose whether to prioritise her needs over yours.
You have a choice; make it a wise one....

Of course he is. Soon as she doesn't get her way or he sticks up for himself she will stop him seeing his boys - women like her always use their children as a weapon to get their own way.
She has him by the balls as he won't want to be barred from seeing them so that means he has to do as she says. Eff that for a game of soldiers, let her have him back ffs.

I just want to sound a note of caution that it might your DP is stringing his ex along. The things you've been told she said were they on messages? The trope of a crazy ex is one some men use to their advantage.

First off, you’re not being unreasonable for this to make you feel uncomfortable. But in any case, it is making you unhappy. And so you don’t have to put up with it, irrespective of whether or not you’re being reasonable in the eyes of others. It’s your life, if he’s not giving you what you need from the relationship, dump him & move on.
FWIW people spend their time, effort and energy exactly where they want to. Regardless of what they say.

OP, never treat someone as a priority when they treat you as an option.

Thank you everybody x

No you don’t, you look fed up of not being considered or prioritised

stop accepting scraps!

bin bin bin bin 🗑️

She loves him and wants him back , and he keeps her hoping .

@jessycake I really hope this hasn’t been the case, I just wouldn’t ever feel comfortable ringing anyone this much. It feels like she wants to put a wedge in and I can understand that if she’s still in love with him I guess I just hoped he would put boundaries in but it always slips back to this, then I feel like a control freak saying anything as he says it’s just co parenting but it’s all the fone calls, messages, always forgetting to drop boys uniform bits off so having to go back down there it’s just relentless. He thinks I’m the problem xx

You can end a relationship for any reason you like. You don’t have to give the real reason.

The vast majority of women would have a problem with this. Him saying it’s all you is just his opinion and he’s only saying it because he has no intention of changing the situation. It’s time to walk away. This is miserable for you and it’s not going to get better