AIBU to hesitate over dating an old friend with conspiracy beliefs?

[Badmom101]

I’ve recently reconnected with a man that I’ve known since school, so well over 40 years. We were close in our teens/early 20’s, nothing romantic, used to hang around in a big group and had a couple of drunken snogs/fumbles but it never turned into anything more, although always thought he was a lovely guy. We all drifted apart, got married had kids and I hadn’t seen or spoken to him for over 20 years. Fast forward to now and we’re both divorced, kids grown up and we met again last year at an event. We still get on really well, have kept in touch, frequent texting and met for a few walks and coffee, and there’s definitely been a bit of flirting going on from both sides. However - he is a 100% believer that lizard people walk amongst us!! That they are in places of power - think royal family, trump etc - and they control society. Apart from that he’s perfectly normal 🥴, has a good, professional, responsible job, a lovely relationship with his kids and family, good group of friends including some of his old friendship circle from school, so I don’t really know what to make of it. On one hand I’m thinking it would be nice to see where, if anywhere, this might lead and that I shouldn’t write him off based on his beliefs, in the same way that I wouldn’t write him off if he was devoutly Christian for example, but on the other hand I’m thinking, hell no, run for the hills! Would be interested to hear what others would feel/think?! So AIBU - yes, give the poor man a chance if he is otherwise lovely or AINBU - hell no, run for the hills.

I went on an Internet date with a Brazilian guy (in London) some years ago during which he started banging on about the lizard people. He also told me that if I was very lucky, played my cards right etc, I might get an invitation to his place in Brazil. He lunged for a sloppy kiss at the bus stop after I'd tried to make my escape - but I obviously didn't pass muster in the end as I didn't hear from him again so never had to prepare my get out speech, fortunately.

So while the lizard people may not walk among us, those who believe in them clearly do!

If he's that lovely and you get on with him I would keep up the friendship. May not be wise/desirable to have a romantic relationship of course.

Yes, what exactly attracts you to the lunatic thicko?

Yes, totally normal otherwise which is why I needed to sense check this. He had a near death experience a few years ago and “went into the light”, but got told to go back, so now also firmly believes in life after death, spirits always around us, watching over us etc, but we’re both from catholic families, went to a catholic school so I kind of share this belief. I did wonder whether this near death experience (brain trauma) was the source of his craziness, but nope, he’s believed in it since his late teens. When I knew him back then we were busy partying so I never really saw this side of him.

Ah yeah… totally normal, other than his whole personality…

I feel like men like this haven’t grown up, they’ve skipped a developmental stage and it gives giant ick

It's pretty much the same though . Lizard people ....... invisible man who created the world in 7 days .

No, it’s not.

The thing is, it’s one thing hanging out with someone occasionally and hearing a bit of this kind of belief but quite another if you’re in a serious relationship and having to hear it all the time, possibly having to do or not do certain things because they say so and goodness knows what else.

If he believes in lizard people he likely believes
9/11 was an inside job
the earth is flat
‘they’ are spraying the skies to create chemtrails
etc

when people believe in something absurd, they generally buy into lots of other equally absurd conspiracies.

I’d keep him as a friend.

Yeah, starting to understand why his wife up and left him “with no warning” 🤔

Yeah

So what do you say when he starts telling you about this? How does it even come into the conversation?

Yeah friend zone. Do not date him. Unless you want to join a cult.

Sorry, it’d be a deal breaker for me but you do you.

I’m not entirely sure how we got on to the subject, but we’ve both recently (in the last year) suffered losses so we were talking about whether we believed in life after death and I think it carried on from there. At first I thought he might have been joking - I don’t know if you’ve ever watched From Dusk Till Dawn where there’s a surreal moment when you think somebody must have changed the channel. It was a bit like that.

Or Icke as in David Icke’s name

Ok, so next question - do you think somebody so convinced in this way of thinking could ever be talked out of it/persuaded otherwise? Not that I particularly want to take him on as a project, but as others have suggested, I’d like to stay friends with him as we do have great chats and he does give good hugs, and it would be a shame for him to spend the rest of his life lonely and earmarked as a weirdo!

Although having asked that, I guess the answer is it’s pretty unlikely he’ll change his thinking if he’s believed this stuff since he was 18 and we’re now 55 ☹️

So you want a yes man that doesn’t question the narrative. Great. There’s millions.

He's a moron

Unable to differentiate between real life and conspiracy fantasy

As a friend he may be amusing, but as a partner? Do you really want to deal with such shite? He's probably anti vax, anti science, and generally anti intellectual

I have never heard of lizards among us but I firmly believe the society is ruled by a minority of very rich people pulling the strings of fools like DT and other wealthy elites. The 1% club.
The conspiracy theories of very wealthy powerful people caught on tape doing unsavoury acts used to control them exist IMO.

I mean, if he's out and proud with the lizard-people theory, then you have to wonder what beliefs he's keeping under wraps until you're in a relationship and he's sure he can really trust you.

It's a shame, since he's such a nice guy, but if you actually go out with him then you're probably going to end up lining your house with tinfoil or stockpiling assault rifles or following a fruitarian diet or something. It's just not a good road to go down.

Does he believe in the Avril Lavigne conspiracy theory too?

Honestly no. The man I met and his girlfriend (my friend), they were in their 30s/40s at the time and saw no reason to change. Being in a kitchen at a party with them they suddenly went on about fluoride and how that poisoned people.

Most people at 55 (that age around) are sadly stuck in their ways and won’t change. Even my current boyfriend (50) he has some views I disagree with but he won’t change. He gave up something (cocaine) but that was partly as he had a health scare and his close friends who used it didn’t have girlfriends. He did have girlfriends but one who was a coke addict. Can’t believe I’m writing that!

Do you think he's always believed it though? I mean he hasn't spent 40 years thinking about it, hopefully.

Is it just something he got hold of when he was a teenager and
just never really questioned

This is actually making my head explode 😂😂 so literally if he met King Charles, he would think he was a Shapeshifting lizard

And appears normal otherwise
You're sure it's not just something he said when he was a teenager and he pulls it out now because he thinks it's funny