AIBU to want a friend to stop dropping by unannounced?

[Pinkgorilla101]

Might be a long one but don’t want to drip feed. We live in a house where the garden is at the front. It’s not UK. We are there most of the year. We have a friend, male in his 60’s who drops by whenever he feels like it. He is a very good friend of my husband’s but it’s starting to grate on him.
We have asked him to text first but he doesn’t. So we started locking the front gate. He started jumping over it. Then he just walks in. Then he will just stay for ages.
in the summer I will happily lay out there naked as we aren’t overlooked but I feel I have to keep clothes on just in case he drops by.
We can’t say anything to him as he would be absolutely devastated but our deterrents haven’t worked.
AIBU in not wanting this or should I just suck it up as it’s good to have friends.

Is he single and lonely. ?

Just trying (and struggling a bit) to think from his point of view... might he be one of these people who is a bit self-involved and no good at reading clear signals?

Is he somehow thinking that you're telling him to let you know so that he doesn't waste his time coming when you're out, or so that you can make sure you're able to be great hosts, have his favourite drink in or whatever... but he's thinking that it isn't a problem for him if you're out or not fully prepared for him?

Yes and yes. Spends a lot of time on his own

I couldn’t have put this better myself. Totally explains the situation. Maybe we will stop keeping coffee in the cupboard

Just tell him straight that you're fed up with his turning up uninvited because it's not always OK!

That’s the reason then, I bet if he found himself a partner you wouldn’t see him again or very rarely. Think you’re going to just have to be blunt and tell him to stop calling round so often and unannounced and get stroppy if he doesn’t listen. We had a similar situation years ago when I was still married, exh friend was recently divorced and lonely he kept calling round on an evening to fill his time, after about a year of it and dropping numerous hints I just got a bit stroppy and told him to stop coming round as it was getting on our nerves and interfering with the kids bedtime routine. I felt mean at the time but was sick of it. He stopped straight away and exh met up with him once a month instead. Lo and behold as soon as as he found a new partner my exh didn’t hear from him again for months.

Not many men in 60s still able to jump over locked gates.
If you saying it to him play that angle, if gate locked text us as you could get bad injury jumping over it.

He’s not worried about offending you, so why are you worried about offending him?