Child given money by "Vicar" at school

[TakeALookAtTheseSwatches]

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

I agree that this can happen, and it's absolutely terrible when it does.

However, I think in this case OP needs to at least give the school chance to look into it first.

I am not sure the curate has done enough so far for the police to investigate a charge of grooming. Unless OP has reason to suspect more may have happened than the £5 incident.

Er, YES!!! Absolutely you need to tell school. And the police. In fact I'd be speaking to the police first. This is grooming. Even if it turns out to be a huge error of judgment on his part but I'm very, very sceptical saying that on this day and age with so much awareness being fed to anyone in a position of authority- it needs flagging up.
Well done for raising a daughter who felt able to tell you.
Please, please escalate this. And good luck.

I can understand your hesitation in escalating the situation, however, as you cannot contact anyone at the school for 2 weeks, I think you really should. Pop into your local police station and have a conversation with them. Tell them what you've told us. There may well be other children that have been given money by this "vicar" that could be at risk, before 20th.

@Reallyneedsaholiday @Plumnora

OP said on Saturday that she’d already emailed the school.

I would report to the LADO at your local authority. I know lots of people are saying the DSL is always contactable even during the holidays but that is not necessarily true. The DSL from my school is in South America right now and I know she will not be accessing emails. The DSL email is not shown on our website as it gets abused - the local authority does know it. I CAN check the general school inbox but I too am overseas and it isn’t easy to get through all the security with only a phone so I won’t be checking until I am back in the UK (not to mention that I don’t get paid to work over Easter - I get paid for 40 weeks plus pro rata holiday only so my HT always tells me that I shouldn’t be checking the inbox on holiday).
I DO think what OP reports is a concern and it SHOULD be reported.

You need to report this to the school, it sounds like grooming. Make sure you tell your daughter she is not in trouble and has done the right thing in telling you.

How is that going to help, if there's noone there to pick up the emails?

There is always someone to pick up the emails in relation to child protection and safeguarding. If not the safeguarding lead, then a designated deputy.

She's reported it.

In an ideal world, maybe. In reality, not the case

In the website there should be a safeguarding email which will be monitored over the holidays. Having said that, if it isn’t an emergency then you could send the message through the normal channels and it’ll be picked up when they’re back. Put safeguarding concern in the subject line.

Every school in our MAT has, plus the adjoining MATs. It's recognised procedure.

Yes, your concern is valid—and it’s appropriate to take this seriously without jumping to conclusions.
The key issue isn’t the £5 or the Easter context itself, but the fact that an adult gave your child money and asked her to keep it “just between me and you.” That kind of secrecy is a red flag in safeguarding terms, even if the person didn’t intend harm. Schools in the UK have very strict safeguarding policies, and staff or visitors (including a vicar or trainee) are generally not supposed to give gifts directly to individual children, especially with any suggestion of secrecy.

Very strange, hope you get it sorted and hope it was just a very naive person who needs to be told he cant do things like that!

Is everyone in this thread sniffing glue? What the hell are the police going to do about someone giving a kid a fiver for some chocolate? The world has gone absolutely batshit, Mumsnet is like a parallel universe sometimes.

I’m shocked that you felt the need to ask complete strangers ( MN) if this is appropriate 🤦🏼‍♀️

The answer probably is nothing

Depends on whether he’s got form doesn’t it ? He gave the kid a fiver and told her not to tell anyone - it’ll just be between the two of them. If that’s not a red flag I don’t know what is. What would you prefer OP do - wait until there’s evidence of abuse ? At best it was bad judgement. At worst it’s a sign of grooming. Either way it needs investigating.

This. Everyone knows it's a red flag, and anyone with the least amount of awareness knows that you don't give a strange child a gift and ask them to keep it a secret.

Why would that make it any better?

You are absolutely right to follow up with the school first. They'll investigate properly and you will be seen to follow the right process rather going a bit ott and calling the police!

Yep, teaching staff will be on Easter Break. Anyone thinking that the teacher is contactable needs to get a grip. Not only are they expected to be contactable 24hrs during term time they're also expecting them to answer emails during their holidays? Seriously? My sister is a teacher, her workload is mental, let them have a blooming break!

OP you sound sensible, don't let the ones out control influence your clear and controlled approach to this.

Safeguarding team will absolutely be contactable. Before every school holiday my school reminds parents and students of the email address that will be checked daily.

This isn’t a matter for the class teacher, it’s for the DSL. Safeguarding of children doesn’t stop just because it’s the school holidays. The advice the OP has been given to contact them on the school email address is appropriate and correct.

Absolutely, this has been said clearly and I don't know why people don't understand it.
That's the procedure.