Child given money by "Vicar" at school

[TakeALookAtTheseSwatches]

So my 10 year old daughter (year 5) came home from school on Thursday and told us the Vicar (possibly just a trainee, I'm not entirely sure) who was taking their collective worship at school gave her £5 to "get herself an Easter treat" and that it was "just between me and you" I asked her if she told the teacher and she said no. I feel quite uneasy about this, should I say something to the school?

@TakeALookAtTheseSwatches Even though the email may not be dealt with before schools re-open, I’d still write it and send it now (or as soon as possible) while everything is fresh in your’s and your daughter’s mind (not sure I have used apostrophes correctly there 🤔).

It’s the “just between me and you” bit that is inappropriate.

But in the first instance it has to be the school as the OP has no idea if the "vicar" is CofE, Methodist, Baptist, URC etc, or what their name is. The school will know all that.

OP has said C of E and they know the name of said cleric

Either your daughter stole the money and is coming up with a story or it’s true. Either way TELL THE SCHOOL! Completely inappropriate- praise her for telling you!

Absolutely. The poster that I quoted said she felt uncomfortable about an unknown man giving her child money in front of her. It's just a 'good luck' tradition which has probably pretty much died out now. The OP's situation is completely different.

As a retired teacher of many years there's a tiny part of my mind that thinks OP's daughter acquired the money some other way and thought the vicar giving it to her was an innocent explanation to cover it up. Things like this do happen. However, it absolutely needs investigating through both the school and the church.

The OP said it was CofE.

The school needs to be the starting point.

Someone must be able to verify who he was and if indeed he sat beside the children.

Was he talking to the girl while someone else was talking and they were meant to be listening?

Was the money loose in his pocket?
Did he pull out his wallet and take it out from there?
How did nobody notice?

But the difference is he singled her out within a group.....
And no he may not be an ongoing risk to the DD but he could be to other children he has more regular contact with for example in his parish.

Then why would she add the bit about not telling anyone 🙄 Can't beleive in this day and age that people are doubting this child's explanation and still giving the adult benefit of the doubt.

Tell school AND church. There will be a contact for safeguarding on the church website prominenty. They legally have to have that. The diocese will also have an obvious contact and tbh id let them know too.

That’s very bizarre! Does this person visit the school a lot?

It does seem a bit odd that he wanted it to be kept a secret. How old is he? Because a lot of elderly people seem to do this…or they used too. My lovely grandmother would always sneak money into my hand and imply that it was a secret. She did it up until she dies recently, often sneaking a £20 note into my hand as an adult.

I think you have done the right thing in reporting it even if it was meant out of kindness. Maybe he didn’t want her to say anything to the other children as he didn’t give them any money? But even so, he shouldn’t be singling out one child and it sounds a little creepy.

Better to be safe than sorry though.
Sadly this post proves that society is still in denial about the risks posed by some men to children.

I'll probably get lynched on here for saying this but I'm shocked the OP hasn't taught her daughter not to accept money from strangers.
You need to to teach them all that safety stuff before they start school. And keep reminding them. It's no good waiting until something happens.

The headteacher will be checking emails over the holiday, so if you can email them directly you can still report. There will also be information about what to do if you have a safeguarding concern over the holiday on the school website.

Please contact the Diocesan SG officer.thwir emergency and regular contact details will be available on their website. Because it's Easter weekend that will be the fastest way to get this logged. Email school too obviously and if you put Safeguarding in the subject line if anyone is scanning emails over the weekend for urgent things that will be seen.
The local church will have SG contact on their website. So do all three would be my advice.

Apologies, I must have missed that bit

Report today!!

That's ok, it's a fast moving thread. I hope she's reported to both school and church this morning.

Absolutely report immediately. As for school being closed. Yes. BUT safeguarding is always picked up in the holidays. Email the given safeguarding contact (or phone number) and it SHOULD be a monitored contact, even in the depths of holiday. Someone has to be the contact for the alerts on police visits etc. If you don't have a prompt response then contact the safeguarding for the LA.

Absolutely you should report it and just as importantly tell your DC it is never ok for an adult to tell you to keep secrets from you. If they do so your DC must tell you immediately and that the adult is in the wrong.

My first thought was Maundy Thursday.

That is not to discount safeguarding concerns.

Maundy Thursday has nothing to do with this. It's when the Monarch gives money to elderly people in a church.

Growing up we were given money on Maundy Thursday by family, neighbours and family friends for Easter treats. Easter treats were also given out at school on that day. My own DC also experienced this, although it was mainly from elderly people who had continued the tradition.