AIBU to think Marrakesh was far worse than I expected?

[LondonLass37]

I'm 40. I went to Marrakesh for a week with a female friend of the same age. Both white, both blonde. Just looking for some warmth, culture, and a proper break.

What I experienced was genuinely awful.

We were harassed constantly , not just persistent sellers, but followed, hissed at, and touched. A man spat at my feet because I wouldn't give him money for directions I never asked for. Later, a drunk local chased us through the medina. We had to hide in a shop for nearly half an hour.

The medina is filthy. In the markets, animal carcasses hang next to food. Live donkeys are visibly mistreated and beaten. I'm still upset about what I saw.

The food was bland and lukewarm. My friend got food poisoning.

I wanted mint tea and beautiful tiles. Instead I felt unsafe and miserable.

So – AIBU? Or is Marrakesh genuinely as terrible as I found it?

Well in all honestly there is plenty of FFS!!!! that goes on on MN.

Or having your boobs groped.

We considered it but when we realised women are expected to dress modestly we vetoed. Not because I wear anything particularly revealing but it’s a hot country, I have tattoos as well and I don’t want to go anywhere I’d be made to feel uncomfortable for wearing short sleeves. We also read about the rule against any show of public affection and just thought, nah.

I’m not blonde or light skinned but I know blonde women who have been similarly harassed in Türkiye. I also heard of a young white girl who was grabbed- thankfully not abducted but attempted. Years ago so hopefully things have changed but yeah. I like to feel safe as a woman wherever I go. Most places I’ve visited have been absolutely fine but I’m resistant to go anywhere with any remote hint I wouldn’t be safe.

Cheaper to go to Spain or Portugal if you just want winter sun. Was 24 degrees in Evora last week. AND all the history.

Most hassley place I have ever been and I’ve been to India and Egypt amongst others. Only time we have enjoyed it is when we stayed in a fancy hotel and just did a guided motorbike and sidecar tour round the main bit.

Agree…it’s a culture shock

great place - a faveof my husband and I in the days

The most hassley place I ever experienced was Italy in the 1980s 😬. I was literally pawed at. Ugh.

Fuck that!
Why would you go somewhere where this is necessary!!
Absolute madness.

An asolute boatload of projection going on in that post.

DH and I went in November, like many here it was not somewhere I would rush to return to. We had a riad in the old town and if I were to repeat the experience ( which I won’t) it’s one of the few places where I would choose to stay in a nice western hotel 3-4 km away to escape from the oppressive business of the city. Hated the Riad too because of the lack of windows, I found it claustrophobic NB I realise that is a me thing, and not something that would necessarily bother other people. I felt unsafe most of the time, but actually we weren’t mugged or anything, I think it’s just a different cultural view of personal space. I also found the food disappointing, but that’s possibly because we mostly ate at places that served alcohol - ironically Moroccan wine, particularly Gris was delicious.

We did however have a lovely time at the British owned Capaldi hotel near the Atlas mountains, but that’s possibly because it was set uo to suit Western tastes and had a French chef. DH went on a day long hike and ended up with diarrhoea and vomiting because he had lunch in the guides hut ( I assume this is where he got it as I was fine and only ate at the hotel).

We went to Costa Rica earlier last year and I have to say I found Marrakesh a lot more alien and out of my comfort zone.

Sounds horrible, but been a few times with female friends and experienced nothing but respect

I went to Marrakech in the 1990s with my then boyfriend. At the time I was in my mid 20s, blonde and curvy. I remember reading in my Rough Guide before we went that it was a good idea to cover up - cover shoulders and chest, long skirt or trousers, not to show any flesh basically unless I was by the pool. I covered up. I was very glad I did. I'll never forget seeing two western women with blonde hair in the souk, They were wearing strappy tops and shorts and they were being hassled, hissed at, etc. Even dressed as modestly as I was I was flashed at just outside the city walls and none of the men would speak to me, they all spoke to my boyfriend. The same thing happened in Istanbul, although that time I was with aunt. On both occasions I was glad not to be either on my own or with another female my age, as I felt the harassment would've been unbearable if I had. A lot of Muslim men think all western women are whores, unfortunately.

Went in 2012 and found it horrible. The 4 star hotel I'd booked served us mouldy fruit as a welcome gift and mint tea that was far too sugary. The tagines were nothing special. The people were horrid. The animal abuse is on another level. The pollution is high.

I went to Morocco 20 years ago with my now husband. We stayed in Agadir but visited Marrakech. I would rather never go on holiday again than go back there. I wore loose trousers and long tops with head coverings whenever we went out of the hotel. It didn’t stop the harassment and the groups of men staring openly and in a really intimidating manner. The animal cruelty was appalling and the child poverty was heart breaking. Everyone that was nice was trying to get money out of us. It felt like nobody was sincere or could be trusted. I cried all the way home and I’m not prone to melodrama! It’s depressing to hear that things haven’t improved.

Because when in Morocco, I treat people with dignity and respect unless someone crosses the line in which case I put them firmly in their place - it’s not that difficult to understand. On my last solo trip - I went hiking in the Atlas Mountains. Spent days with the same group of Moroccan men. Initially had interest until I explained that I wasn’t interested. I never had a proposition again despite sometimes sharing tent. Their advances are not aggressive but more about directness, curiosity and admiration. Some people are looking for the evil when it comes to Muslim men and they will make sure they find it.

You are bringing race into this. I just said it was a s-hole.
Most of the posts support my comment.

We went as a family of 4 just for some winter sun and stayed in an all inclusive on the outskirts of Marrakech. DH and 18 year old daughter went to the souk one day. Daughter loved it, but was fairly oblivious, DH came back so tense and refused to take me into the centre. We’ve been all over the world and I’ve never seen him like that anywhere. I think it was more to do with the animals than anything. I don’t think we’ll go back.

DD went again last year with her 6ft 4in MMA male flatmate. He didn't leave her side and there was no problem, but I bought her modest clothes and she took scarves to cover up.

As a woman, I wouldn’t dare go to Marrakesh. And I wouldn’t go to Egypt either, for the same reason.

I wouldn't go anywhere in that part of the world for the reasons you mention.

Also, I remember a friend going to Tunisia with her family when we were about 16. She was a tall, leggy, pretty girl, with strawberry-blonde hair, and she got harassed everywhere she went. Got her bum pinched repeatedly. I remember her coming back to school and telling all of us how awful it was, and how she'd never go again.

Yeah I am white - but dark haired and I don’t really stand out. I was about 42/43 when I went to Marrakesh in 2023. But my friend who accompanied me on that trip was tall (about 5 foot 7) and blonde haired; she got a lot of unwanted attention. It was annoying.

I've been to Agadir on a girls' trip and was prepared for harassment (I'd been to Turkey before) and it was about as I expected. The (unwanted) attention we did receive was very jovial at least and not threatening. The unexpected thing, was that I got more attention than the blondes, being dark haired, fair skinned and blue eyed. My friend pointed out that the models in advertising see saw all fit this description.

I think cities in general, and all over the world, attract the best and worst of humanity. In countries with values that don't really align with ours, the 'worst' seems far worse to us.

At the end of the day, you've travelled to their country and what's acceptable there goes. We travel for 'enlightenment' and to 'broaden our minds' but with typical Western arrogance, what we really want is the sanitised, romanticised version.

I loved Marrakech but I was there with my DH and DSs. We had fab food, tiles, sun and history. We did a private guided walking tour which was amazing - but I wouldn’t have gone down some of the alleys and side streets on my own! Like it or not 2 blonde women are probably going to get hassled there!

I went there last year and hated it. The mopeds, the men, the poor animals. The only lovely thing was the riad.

It’s a hole. Local food sellers shouting lines from ‘Only Fools and Horses’ and guys exposing themselves and then coming up behind us to swipe their penises on us.

There are some tiny pockets of loveliness, like the YSL garden, but I’d never go back or recommend it to anyone, especially women.

Essaouira is a very different vibe to Marrakech and Agadir. It's been a multicultural hippy resort for decades, it's where bans used to go to write albums in the sixties.

I must say, I haven't experienced the same as a lone female in Turkey. Being white has a lot to do with it, but not so much blonde or slim. There's a regional saying, beauty in a woman is measured by the pound. But the men do see women as available.