AIBU to think Marrakesh was far worse than I expected?

[LondonLass37]

I'm 40. I went to Marrakesh for a week with a female friend of the same age. Both white, both blonde. Just looking for some warmth, culture, and a proper break.

What I experienced was genuinely awful.

We were harassed constantly , not just persistent sellers, but followed, hissed at, and touched. A man spat at my feet because I wouldn't give him money for directions I never asked for. Later, a drunk local chased us through the medina. We had to hide in a shop for nearly half an hour.

The medina is filthy. In the markets, animal carcasses hang next to food. Live donkeys are visibly mistreated and beaten. I'm still upset about what I saw.

The food was bland and lukewarm. My friend got food poisoning.

I wanted mint tea and beautiful tiles. Instead I felt unsafe and miserable.

So – AIBU? Or is Marrakesh genuinely as terrible as I found it?

My daughter was 20 when we went, and beautiful. She wandered around the souk on her own and with us, and didn't experience any issues.

I went as a group as a student when I was studying in Spain. Interestingly all the European women followed the rules, dressing pretty conservatively. While I wouldn’t hurry back, I don’t remember being hassled too much. However, there were a group of American girls on the trip who didn’t cover up and went around in shorts and t shirts on day 1. They were very much harassed and it was pretty hideous. By day 2 they’d bought pashminas to try and cover up a bit. I definitely wouldn’t go back with my own daughters.

We went as a couple, guided, on a round country tour. Other than Marrakech it was lovely if sometimes primitive in the toilet facilities [ but I have been to central Asia so am not bothered]. Ancient and fine culture.

Right. So a beautiful, Western 20 year old woman on her own had absolutely no harassment in the Souk in Marrakech?
She was very fortunate.

Some. I got approval for veiling, albeit in my head it was a bit cos playing.

Apart from Yves Saint Laurent's garden I found it hard to find anything I was interested in visiting in Marrakech. It's very good for wandering around the souk and medina but a couple of days will cover it.

I walked around the souk, shopping areas, went off track to find a lovely restaurant.

People can have different experiences in the same place!

I’ve been to Marrakesh a few times and always enjoyed it. I preferred the vista I had without my husband as I found with him I was ignored completely whereas with female friends people talked to me! I found that unwanted attention was fairly easy to deal with, a firm no always worked for me. I do think there’s a culture shock and people do behave differently from Europeans.

We had one interaction where a shop owner near a hotel I was staying at with friends kept bugging us, my friends had been saying we’ll come to your shop another time/tomorrow and really they were just trying to say no politely, but he was getting frustrated as they weren’t going to his shop the next day. I ended up saying directly to him that we were feeling harassed by him, and at that he did completely back off. Another time a guy was rude to us in a bar, in Arabic, we didn’t understand him, the bar owner and another guy immediately physically removed him and apologised to us.

I’ve been 3 times and other than those two things I’ve only had positive experiences. I have had worse experiences in Italy and Turkey. I’m told Fez is more laid back. The Atlas Mountains are beautiful but much busier these days, I first went in the 90s and there were hardly any cars, people had only just got hooked up to electricity, it was a different world. Went a few years ago and it was so busy!

I am curious do you think Muslim women should dress like Western women when they are here too?

https://www.lejardinsecretmarrakech.com/en/ is well worth a visit.

As is the women's museum

https://visitmarrakech.com/en/listing/women%27s-museum/

Bahia Palace was beautiful.

Youve clearly seen a very different Marrakech to the one me and many of my friends have visited. I think it’s a wonderful city and Ive always felt far safer there than I do in my area of south London. If you think that the level of harassment was bad in Marrakech, I would suggest that you don’t go to Luxor!

Years ago , one was supposed to shout ''You are a monkey'' in Arabic to any one bothering you and it seemed to work.

As is Marrakech!

Agree. I found Luxor was horrific in terms of being hassled as a tourist!

Yes, I think people don't always realise how geared towards tourists parts of Marrakech are. They "see you coming" in terms of hassling for sales, giving directions, selling tortoises etc and a lot of them are them for that very purpose - to prey on tourists. We found trying to look as though we knew what we were doing helped (walking purposefully etc).

I think it is part of the experience, you know to be aware and if women are going to strip off to a bikini etc outside the hotel, then they will get that sort of attention - I wore long floaty skirts and blouses that covered my shoulders, and I was also very careful about what and where I ate. It isn't right to us, but then part of travelling is to understand how things are not the same everywhere. The same with the stray cats etc: it is very sad, but equally it is an aspect of accepting not every country is like our own.

The sunsets are beautiful, the riads are beautiful, the market is colourful and the experience is of something very different from home. I think if you know what to expect all of that is just about worth a few days of the negatives. That said, I wouldn't volunteer to take a group of 16 year old girls.

I know Marrakech is different. I'm not sure what your point is.

I think I saw a different side of Moroccan culture because I had friends there and usually stayed with them in Casablanca, using it as a base. First time I went abroad (1960s) it was to Tangier where my companion met and fell in love with a Moroccan. They later married in the UK and went to live in Casablanca. When you are staying with friends you see a very different side of the life and culture. I was never afraid to go out on my own even at night as the soukh is open late into evening. However I would not have dressed in a mini skirt in the more conservative cities like Marakech and Fez. To those who mentioned Essoura yes its a beautiful little city and much more relaxed Try to stay in a riad in the old town.

Travelling around Morocco on my own in the 1960s and 1970s (my friends were usually working) gave me the confidence to visit many counties on my own including Egypt, Syria and later Iran.

Not sure what you mean by "western". Are you trying to say "white" or referring to a way of dressing or what?

In any case, they tried to sell her stuff, of course, but not in any way that made her feel uncomfortable in the slightest.

it just feels that this is another of those threads here that, while it may be genuine on behalf of the OP, is going to bring out a lot of racist tropes about Islam and ‘why should we respect cultural differences here then’ kind of pseudo questions.
It’s great to hear so many positive experiences of Marrakesh and Morocco in general.
Men are pigs the world over.

This was lovely. And only tourists there if you need a break from sad donkeys and being induced to buy!

The colours, both in this garden, but Marrakech generally, are startling.

I would hate to go. Have never had any desire to go to Morocco, Turkey, Egypt, etc. Nothing about those countries appeals and those who.I know who have been have faced similar issues to the OP. That doesn't sound like a "holiday' to me...

My daughter went there with a man some years ago - the main problem was it was summer and the heat and air quality were very, very bad and they left asap.

This is something you can apply to many countries - go for the sun, stay mostly in your resort and avoid the shit areas. That was my experience in Goa.

I like Marrakesh. There are many nicer places in Morocco but I didn't recognise your experience in my own (apart from the meat strung up in the markets which as a veggie I don't love but it's their normal)

So you’re making a sweeping statement about Turkey which you have never visited. Before making pathetic comments go and visit there! I go regularly and I can assure you women work on reception, in banks, shops. 45% of practicing lawyers are women! I suggest you take a look in the UK, the majority of people working as cleaners in hotels, hospitals and restaurants are women!