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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think the nursery my daughter goes to would not deprive her of water?!

67 replies

babblington · 18/06/2008 20:48

I love my daughter's (just turned 4) nursery, i think it is fabulous and she adores it, always happy to go in, talks very highly of it when she is not there.
Today they went on a trip to a park in coaches - 70 something children, adults for every 4 children, superbly organised, seamless, as i have grown to expect.
I pick her up and her lips are bleeding, she has an enormous hissy fit on leaving - quite unlike her. Over tired, i think. Turns out they brought juice for all the children to drink. My daughter doesn't like juice, only water or milk - did they have an alternative? NO - so she didn't have anything to drink for 3 AND A HALF HOURS despite running around like a wild thing at the park. How could they not have water?! Surely this constitutes cruelty of some kind?! I am horrified and flabbergasted.
Sorry this is very long. Am trying to work out how to contain my fury when i go to talk to them tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
babblington · 18/06/2008 22:23

Yes - I still love the nursery and think they are generally fab - It must be nigh on impossible ensuring 70 odd kids all have something to drink - but I do still think they should have had water available as the first option, and that is what i will chat to them about tomorrow!

OP posts:
BlueBumedFly · 18/06/2008 22:24

YANBU babblington, I am also suprised you are not getting much support here, I am fuming on your behalf! Water has to be offered, especially if they know she does not have juice. Would anyone responding to this thread in a negative manner be doing so if this was a food issue over a lunchtime period? Perhaps if their DC were only offered a sandwich that they were know to hate or were allergic to and there was nothing else on offer so they had to go hungry??

Babblington, go in tomorrow and ask why the hell DD was not offered water, at 4 she cannot be expected to make health decisions, she is just a small child!

PinkTulips · 18/06/2008 22:32

i'm with wheresthehamster on this one.... why is the adult child ration 1;4? it's a minimum of 1:2 at my daughter playschool for trips as well, even if this means harrassing almost all the moms to come along to boost adult numbers.

wouldn't be too concerned about the water thing, it was 3.5 hours, not an entire day and with 70 children i'm sure they had enough to organise without thinking of this too. if you know she's difficult about drinks why didn't you send some water or think to remind them?

for what it's worth, never mind fruit shoots, here in rural ireland all that was on offer at the adventure park we went to was coke or white lemonade

bossybritches · 18/06/2008 22:33

BBF I'm sure babblington will handle it very calmly & get the answers she wants. After all as I was trying to point out it could have been the carer looking after B's daughter who was at fault NOT the whole nursery failing per se. I'm sure they will be as as anyone & make sure it never happens again. They maybe need to review their policies on refreshment breaks/provision on outings.

Original poster
babblington · 18/06/2008 22:34

She's not difficult about drinks.
When did water stop being a basic human necessity/right?

OP posts:
Original poster
babblington · 18/06/2008 22:37

...and we were told specifically not to send drinks/food/toys etc. Do you not think I would have ensured she had water if they had not specifically asked the parents not to send any in with the children? Do you not think that might be why i am angry, when of course i would have made sure she had water but i had left her in what i thought was their competent care?!

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 18/06/2008 22:40

well seeing as most kids wom't drink plain water but will drink juice, and the vast majority of those who will drink water drink juice too, they probably thought they had all 70 kids covered and your dd was simply forgotton about. and whoever the adult was who had 4 screaming, hyper, active 4 year olds to chase around after probably didn't even notice she'd gone a whole 3 hours () without any.

bossybritches · 18/06/2008 22:40

I'm sure she's not normally but if they are all excited & busy doing things on a trip it's easy for them (the children) to forget to drink the same way they forget sometimes to go to the loo even if well toilet trained. Thats what I meant about the carers needing to MAKE/encourage them to sit down & drink regularly,obviously didn't happen

WinkyWinkola · 18/06/2008 22:43

Water should be the norm when it comes to drinks for kids. It's the best thing for them.

And not even one child's needs should be forgotten about on a school trip. They have key workers at nursery who attend to three or four kids.

Original poster
babblington · 18/06/2008 22:44

Wow, Pinktulips - I'd be impressed if you could run around like a 4 year old in the sun for 3 hours and not need a drink. Perhaps you can.

OP posts:
Original poster
babblington · 18/06/2008 22:45

but i still think it would be cruel to either offer you something you wouldn't/couldn't drink or offer you nothing at all.

OP posts:
PinkTulips · 18/06/2008 22:57

i know for a fact though that my 22 month old and 3 year old will shout very loudly when they want a drink. and don't stop shouting til they get it.

i honestly don't think this is a big enough deal to cause a fight with caregivers you are obviously otherwise happy with.

suggest politely to them that your daughter was too shy to ask for water yesterday so could they in future bring some for her and leave it at that... why go in raging and angry over such a tiny thing?

and yes i can.... i'm designed like a camel and rarely need to stop for liquid

WinkyWinkola · 18/06/2008 23:22

But you're not 4, PinkTulips. Little ones get dehydrated quite quickly.

Having said that, I've learned to take DS water every time I pick him up from nursery because he's forgotten to drink water whilst haring about in their garden all afternoon. It's not a big deal really.

PinkTulips · 18/06/2008 23:32

lol WW, i was joking seeing as babblington brought it up.

[sigh]

forgot you can't joke on MN these days

bobbysmum07 · 18/06/2008 23:48

Lips bleeding through dehydration? In three and a half hours? This has to be the stupidest thing I've ever read on here! It's got to be a joke ... surely

bonio · 18/06/2008 23:51

bobbysmummy the bleeding lips thing had me head scratching too.

cory · 18/06/2008 23:59

Now supposing they had offered water and somebody else's daughter refused to drink anything but juice- would that also constitute deprivation? Presumably that child would get just as dehydrated?

And what about a child that would only drink yellow juice? And another one that would only drink blackcurrant? (examples of both among dc's friends) Seems harsh to say it is cruel to offer a child something they wouldn't drink: I've known children who refuse to drink anything but the exact brand of juice offered at home. Must be difficult for a nursery to have them all covered.

Though I agree that water should be the first choice for health reasons, I do know plenty of children who refuse to drink it.

Anyway, if your child has an allergy or really cannot drink something, surely it is your job to provide that information in writing, not for the nursery to guess it?

DirtySexyMummy · 19/06/2008 00:01

Bleeding lips from dehydration after 3 and a half hours?

I don't think so.

My DS goes for more than 3 and a half hours without a drink every single day.

herbietea · 19/06/2008 00:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

bobbysmum07 · 19/06/2008 00:31

Presumably they took cartons of fruit juice because they were easier to manage with 70 kids than bottles of water. And on a 3 hour trip to the park on a cool, cloudy day, the need for water (as opposed to any other beverage) wasn't flagged as the highest priority on the risk assessment. I think the OP needs to gain a sense of perspective -I mean, we're hardly talking about an expedition into the desert, are we?

On the other hand, she could always march into the nursery tomorrow - all guns blazing - and threaten them with Ofsted. I'm sure they'd love her forever for that.

2point4kids · 19/06/2008 08:04

I think there is some huge over reacting going on here.
It was only 3 and a half hours. Your daughter was offered a drink and she said no to it.
You dont know if they had water with them as back up because your daughter never asked for it.
She would have been thirsty but not degydrated after that short amount of time.
You gave her a drink afterwards, all fine.

If you need to say something then dont get cross, just say nicely that dd was really thirsty yesterday. Sometimes she is a bit funny about what she drinks or is too shy to ask for something different. Please can they make sure she has something even if she says no.

If you were looking after someone elses child and offered them a drink and they said no thanks, then the mum went mad at you for not insisting they drink anyway wouldnt you be a bit taken back?

cory · 19/06/2008 08:14

Or if the Mum went mad at you for not mind-reading and understanding that their child wanted something else?

As your dd starts asking you to have her friends over for the day, you may well find yourself in this position. Personally, I would expect any parent to inform me of such matters and maybe provide the necessaries; if they don't, I assume that the child will eat and drink what they are given.

belgo · 19/06/2008 08:26

babblington - I would be annoyed by this. It's horrible to be thirsty as a child and not have any way of coping with it - it's not like an adult who can go to the nearest shop and buy themselves a drink.

For those who say she should have had what she was given - I wonder if she was only offerred the drink once? She probably didn't realise that if she refused, she wouldn't be getting anything else for several hours.

And she only wanted water - hardly an unreasonable request.

Oh and some juices (in fact most juices) taste so gross that they make me feel even thirstier.

shrinkingsagpuss · 19/06/2008 08:28

I am quite spurised that they took juice only - our nursery works the other way round and often only has water - which DS doesn't like.
Schools only usually allow water now (I think) so it would make sense for them to offer water.

Mind you, i'm amazed ANY child would turn down juice!!!

2point4kids · 19/06/2008 08:31

But Belgo, she is 4. Nearly school age.
Surely at that age carers are ok to expect that if a child is offered a drink and they say no, but know where the drinks are and who has the drinks that the child is fine to say when they want another drink?
When she goes to school (presumably soon) she wont be chased round all day and have teachers insisting she drinks now. She will know where the drinks are and will have one as and when she needs one surely...

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