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Do nursing staff not wash patients anymore or change sheets?

409 replies

keepswimming38 · 03/04/2026 06:09

My daughter has been admitted to hospital with meningitis. She’s on an infectious diseases ward. I’ve been by her side most of the day for 3 days and despite her not being able to move as she is so weak, not one nurse has asked her if she wants to freshen up, have a wash, change her sheets. I’ve done it for her. Is this usual? The nurses are sat next to their little computer trolleys, or chatting at nurses station, so not all run off their feet I would say.

OP posts:
Blueeberry · 03/04/2026 11:54

MummyWillow1 · 03/04/2026 10:21

The attitude here is what is wrong with society. We show up when people need help and care for our children. The NHS is there to help in times of need, not be at your beck and call.

She is getting the clinical care needed yet OP chose to berate the nursing staff for not bathing someone who has been bathed?

The ‘child’ in this case is 20, and if she’s anything like my own young adult DD then there’s absolutely no way that she’d want her mother helping with personal care. DD had major surgery aged 17 and required bed baths, catheter care etc for a few days afterwards both in high dependancy & on the ward. The nurses & HCAs did it (without asking!) in the most dignified way possible. I’m a HCP and there’s no way that I or any of my colleagues would assume that a parent should do all of the personal care for their 20yo. It’s inappropriate.

BillieWiper · 03/04/2026 12:03

I know that nobody on my ward could shower because they were virtually bed bound. Ortho trauma so broken hips, legs etc.

As soon as they can get to and use bathroom unaided then they kick them out. So a lot of them probably didn't bathe for the week they were there. But most were only there a week or so.

Nurses changed sheets if someone peed the bed. But I didn't notice them doing it otherwise.

Except I had an RMN and could shower as had been there weeks, so while I was showering my RMN would change my bed. But until I could shower nurses didn't offer to bed bathe me.

I had one lovely friend and when she was leaving I gave her a hug and she smelled really bad. So the answer is no, they don't really bathe you or help you wash.

Poppins94 · 03/04/2026 12:03

LydiaFunnyGums · 03/04/2026 07:44

Nursing care sure isn’t what it used to be. I’ve seen rolled up pillows being squashed into pillow cases and apparently this is considered acceptable for use as a pillow. A lot of staff don’t want to do the personal care or other care duties but happily take the wages. Some can’t be arsed to show a little bit of care and compassion. The food they serve in hospitals is shit poor and not good for people with conditions such as heart failure and diabetes. Vulnerable people really are vulnerable when they go into hospital nowadays.

It’s not that nurses “can’t be arsed” it’s that the role has fundamentally changed over the past 30–40 years. Modern nursing is far more complex and clinically focused than it used to be.

Registered nurses are now responsible for care planning, discharge coordination (often starting on admission), referrals to allied health professionals, MDT working, supervising students and newly qualified staff, administering medications (including IV therapy), and maintaining detailed, legally accountable documentation. At the same time, patients are more acutely unwell and have increasingly complex needs.
When you factor in chronic staffing shortages and resource constraints, it simply isn’t always possible for nurses to deliver all elements of hands-on personal care alongside these responsibilities.

That said, compassionate care absolutely matters, and it should never feel absent, that’s a valid concern and something the profession continues to reflect on and improve.
HCA's key role is providing personal care, allowing the RN to complete the care he/she is qualified to do.

There is also, at times, a tendency in the UK to view nursing through somewhat rose-tinted glasses focusing on how the role used to be, without fully recognising how much it has advanced and expanded. Alongside that, nurses often feel there is less appreciation of the complexity and responsibility of the modern role compared to some other countries.

I do agree that the standard of hospital food in the UK is very poor, and that has real implications for patients with conditions like heart failure and diabetes. Nutrition should be treated as part of clinical care, not an afterthought. I'm from an EU country where catering is done in house and patients choose their meals from a menu. Meals are also tailored for those with diabetes, cardiac and renal issues.

LydiaFunnyGums · 03/04/2026 12:09

Poppins94 · 03/04/2026 12:03

It’s not that nurses “can’t be arsed” it’s that the role has fundamentally changed over the past 30–40 years. Modern nursing is far more complex and clinically focused than it used to be.

Registered nurses are now responsible for care planning, discharge coordination (often starting on admission), referrals to allied health professionals, MDT working, supervising students and newly qualified staff, administering medications (including IV therapy), and maintaining detailed, legally accountable documentation. At the same time, patients are more acutely unwell and have increasingly complex needs.
When you factor in chronic staffing shortages and resource constraints, it simply isn’t always possible for nurses to deliver all elements of hands-on personal care alongside these responsibilities.

That said, compassionate care absolutely matters, and it should never feel absent, that’s a valid concern and something the profession continues to reflect on and improve.
HCA's key role is providing personal care, allowing the RN to complete the care he/she is qualified to do.

There is also, at times, a tendency in the UK to view nursing through somewhat rose-tinted glasses focusing on how the role used to be, without fully recognising how much it has advanced and expanded. Alongside that, nurses often feel there is less appreciation of the complexity and responsibility of the modern role compared to some other countries.

I do agree that the standard of hospital food in the UK is very poor, and that has real implications for patients with conditions like heart failure and diabetes. Nutrition should be treated as part of clinical care, not an afterthought. I'm from an EU country where catering is done in house and patients choose their meals from a menu. Meals are also tailored for those with diabetes, cardiac and renal issues.

Some nurses really can’t be arsed!

StudyinBlue · 03/04/2026 12:17

PinkPonyAnonymous · 03/04/2026 06:20

My only time in hospital was my post natal experience. I had bloody sheets and wasn’t offered a change until about 3 hours before I left. The entire staff seemed really busy.

This. Post birth I was in the bed I’ve given birth on with most of the associated gunk for over 24 hours before they changed it.. I kept asking for them to help me to the shower and change my bed but they were always ‘too busy’. I eventually got help when the breast feeding nurse came to talk to be about breast feeding. I basically said ‘stuff that’ please help me to the shower. I promptly collapsed as I got out of bed (had lost a lot of blood) and she got me in the shower. I then heard her doing a horrified stage whisper to some member of staff to come and change my bedding as it was a real mess. I ended up thinking the NHS is like a third world country and they expect friends and relatives to do the ‘grunt work’.

My partner had stayed until 9pm the previous day but because I had a drip for most of it they wouldn’t let me shower and then when it was removed was told I would be going up to the ward ‘soon’ and I could shower there. DP was taking paternity after I left hospital due to the mistaken belief I would be looked after whilst there and it was better he was available for when I came out. I also have never understood some people’s obsession with having a private room (which is what I had on that occasion) as it’s even more of an excuse to forget about/ignore you.

SimplySandy · 03/04/2026 12:17

NewYearNewMee · 03/04/2026 06:39

At 20 is she able to advocate for herself and ask? Is she bed bound?

She’s been hospitalised with meningitis, ffs! How is she supposed to “advocate for herself” when she is so sick? 🙄

@keepswimming38 Someone - nurse or HCA - absolutely should be changing her sheets. And no, it shouldn’t have to be you. You are not being unreasonable at all. I’m sorry your daughter is going through this. I hope she makes a swift recovery. Sending love to you. X

HoppityBun · 03/04/2026 12:19

I don’t think it’s nurses who do the actual nursing now, is it?

Nurses seem to do more medical stuff, whereas the ones in green do healthcare and the ones in red, who are on the ward a lot, it seems to me, do the sweeping floors, bringing tea and noticing things.

Munchyseeds2 · 03/04/2026 12:25

AprilMizzel · 03/04/2026 10:23

Depends on he wards - FIl got it on most wards he was on though he was discharge with a catheter still in late at night with no instructions for ongoing care.

Dad didn't though basic care was often also missing like getting drugs in him at all let alone of time.

Recently with Mum they didn't even get her clothes off her - she was left for three days in clothes she went in - partly due to injury but she was desperate for a wash and change of clothes - I had to help her when home. They did offer to let me or Dsis put as uppository in for her - which none of us wanted including mum.

They were going to let you insert a suppository??

HoppityBun · 03/04/2026 12:25

Gall10 · 03/04/2026 11:48

Can I ask what research you’ve done on nurse training? If it from reading the daily mail/express then I’d suggest you try to go a little deeper into a subject you seem to know very little about.

Fine. But this chimes with the experience of my friend who trained as a nurse a few years ago. The first few months of her course were online, took only a couple of days a week and were just tick box questionnaires about disability and diversity training. She had already worked as a nursing auxiliary and her view by the end of her training was that there was a massive gap between theory and practice. She went into private nursing.

FFSToEverythingSince2020 · 03/04/2026 12:29

greengagejamandcrumpets · 03/04/2026 06:13

From what I have seen nursing went to pot when they made it a degree course. Nurses don't want to 'nurse' anymore. they want to be managers.

However, I'm sure they have HCAs (Health Care Assistants) that do those sort of tasks.

If you are not happy you could always contact PALs for advice.

www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/hospitals/what-is-pals-patient-advice-and-liaison-service/

You know, it really depends on the senior nurse in charge and if they demand that the other nurses only function as managers. The tasks OP is mentioning are all handled by HCAs in regular wards (I was in neurological); I’m not sure how it’s handled in infectious diseases, but I would imagine it’s still HCAs changing the beds and helping with washing. So I’m not sure what’s going on with your DD; they’d come around every morning after breakfast to ask about changing the sheets and if anyone needed help washing. Usually they ask that visiting hours don’t start until 10/11 because they’re doing breakfast and then personal care for patients. Please ask someone if this isn’t being done.

The thing about the senior nurse though… I had absolutely lovely nurses when I was in, but one senior in charge was just an absolute nightmare. Bells would be going off from several rooms and a bunch of nurses were just sitting at the desk, but because the OFFICIAL hierarchy is - you ring the bell, the HCA comes to turn it off and check if it’s something they can do (bed change, cup of tea), and if not, they get a nurse. I got out of bed to ask for a cup of tea and my favourite nurse was just sitting at the desk and started asking me, “Just milk, right?” And she cut him off, looked at me like I was shite on her shoe, and said the tea round would be there soon. 😂 You could always tell when she was on shift because bells would constantly be ringing and go on ringing for about twice as long as they did on normal days/nights when both nurses and HCAs pitched in.

SnapCackleFlop · 03/04/2026 12:34

bitterexwife · 03/04/2026 06:21

How old is she? If a young children’s ward it’s likely there will be a bath somewhere on the ward. You’ll be expected to help her as you’re there, so just ask to use the bathroom for her, ask for towels etc. no shower you’ve seen? Have you asked for a bowl and flannels?
come on!

What a shitty post 🙄

OP, I hope your daughter makes a full recovery and the hospital stay is as short as possible. 💐

SapphireSeptember · 03/04/2026 12:51

I was asked if I wanted my sheets changed everyday when I was in hospital with DS after he was born. They didn't need to be changed everyday, but the offer was there. I changed DS's sheets in his cot, because sheets and blankets for the cots were available in a cupboard on the ward. I was able to wash myself, DS didn't get his first bath until we get home, I just wiped him down.

TwinklySquid · 03/04/2026 12:54

PinkPonyAnonymous · 03/04/2026 06:20

My only time in hospital was my post natal experience. I had bloody sheets and wasn’t offered a change until about 3 hours before I left. The entire staff seemed really busy.

I was left in bloody sheets. They kept giving me those disposable Puppy Pad sheets to put over the blood instead of changing the sheets. When I complained I was essentially called a liar as they said the staff who manage the ward wouldn’t allow that.
I said both my partner and his father saw it. But nope, we were all liars 🙄

AprilMizzel · 03/04/2026 13:19

Munchyseeds2 · 03/04/2026 12:25

They were going to let you insert a suppository??

Nurse said one was needed looked at us and said we could do it - seemed serious about that tried to hand sis medication. Mum was a no I don't think so - and then there was a long pause and was a well supposed I could from nurse.

I'd already just taken Mum very unsteadily to the toilet as staff insisted they were too busy and I could do it - I'd literally just got to hospital after hours of travel with luggage and hadn't seen mum in person for over a year. So first thing I was doing was working out hospital wheel chairs and pulling down her trousers and pants down as she couldn't and sorting her.

That I felt I could do but suppositories I was WTF.

DH said his Uncle did that and personal care for his GM at their house in end as they both prefered that to carers and some nurses that came in but bit different situation to hopsital situation to say the least.

Franpie · 03/04/2026 13:20

GranolaBaker · 03/04/2026 07:30

I was in st Thomas’ a couple of years ago (big teaching hospital - the home of modern nursing practice, Florence Nightengale etc) and I was festering in a dirty hospital gown and bloodied sheets. A matron (or senior sister or whatever the appropriate title is for big boss nurse!) came by the ward and was pretty annoyed at the state of me. She didn’t leave until the HCAs had changed my bed and helped me into a new gown.

i got the impression that keeping patients clean and comfortable is still part of the JD but will be shirked by some if possible.

I gave birth at St Thomas’s. Had a c-section and also had pre and post natal depression. I wasn’t in a good way and felt completely overwhelmed.

An angel of a HCA came into my room and told me she was going to take me into the shower room and give me a wash. She showered me whilst I sat on the chair, washed my hair, got me dried and dressed, change my sheets, changed my dressing.

She was so wonderful. I tear up just thinking about how much she went out of her way to take care of me whilst all the nurses and doctors were so busy.

neilyoungismyhero · 03/04/2026 13:29

NewYearNewMee · 03/04/2026 06:39

At 20 is she able to advocate for herself and ask? Is she bed bound?

Are you for real?

loislovesstewie · 03/04/2026 13:30

youalright · 03/04/2026 11:51

So you're talking about a drip and machines not just a cannula. The cannula is just the needle in your arm/hand

What did you think the cannula was for? He wasn't just sitting there with a cannula for fun. He had insulin, a saline solution, antibiotics all going in the arm, and a catheter out of his bladder to collect urine. It's obvious to me that the cannula was performing a function.
Edited to add, this was a regular occurrence when he was young.

mrsdolittle · 03/04/2026 13:30

I work on a ward for rehabilitation of elderly patients (I’m admin not clinical). All our patients are assisted with personal care, or it is done for them if they are unable, every morning. Beds are changed every day without fail. The ward is constantly cleaned and is spotless. Our Ward Manager runs a very tight ship!
I assumed this was the norm - am saddened it is not.
I hope your daughter recovers very quickly Flowers

Bitsandbobs2 · 03/04/2026 13:32

Figcherry · 03/04/2026 07:07

When my df was in hospital last year on palliative care some of the nurses were shockingly uncaring.
A nurse sat in the bay on her mobile desk drinking Costa coffee whilst an old man kept asking for a cup of tea, and no he wasn’t nbm. She told him the tea trolley would be round soon which I knew was a lie.
My df started vomiting coffee grounds vomit and she wasn’t going to offer help until I called her over and then I had to tell her to fetch a doctor.

My uncle in another hospital got 5 chicken nuggets and 10 chips for his lunch the day I visited. He’s 91. He asked me what the chicken nuggets were. That wouldn’t fill my 4 year old dgc. His nurses were lovely though compared to my dad’s.

A colleague, 10 years ago, used to refer to the NHS as the No Hope Service, It’s unfortunately true in some areas.

No Hope Service-sadly but very accurate. I was left in my own diarrhea for hours after my C section few years ago. I had side effects of anesthesia and smell was horrendous. 3 members of staff checked me under sheets and said I'm fine. I thought I'm going mental as I was literally smelling poo. Luckily night shift nurse noticed it and cleaned, she was very furious on her collegues as diarrhea went in to my dressing and caused infection ....

Toddlerteaplease · 03/04/2026 13:47

Maybe they are assuming you are doing it. Most paediatric patients have parents with them who mostly do it. Although I always offer to help
them/ change sheets if they want it.

HardyFox · 03/04/2026 13:51

Last time I was in hospital I was sat in A&E for 15 hour before a bed was available. Taken up to the ward finally and wheeled to a bed. It had a bare mattress with a pile of bedding sat on it. I felt too ill by that time to try to make the bed so just lay on it and hubby had to make it when he came for visiting.
I was told on admission I needed strong IV antibiotics, by the time he came in I had been in hospital 20 hours with no medication whatsoever. When he queried it he was told I had missed the drugs round and would have to wait til the following morning. I felt dreadful and could literally see the infection spreading. I don't know where he found one but he came back almost dragging a doctor who then went into full blown panic mode and sorted IV etc. Hubby said the nurses had all been clustered round the nurses station eating Quality Street.
I was in hospital for five days, my bed was never changed and I was not offered a wash until I could get up after 3 days and stagger to the toilet.
At one stage the alarm went off on my drip and the cleaner came along, turned the alarm off and sorted the kink in the tube.

youalright · 03/04/2026 13:51

loislovesstewie · 03/04/2026 13:30

What did you think the cannula was for? He wasn't just sitting there with a cannula for fun. He had insulin, a saline solution, antibiotics all going in the arm, and a catheter out of his bladder to collect urine. It's obvious to me that the cannula was performing a function.
Edited to add, this was a regular occurrence when he was young.

Edited

What are you talking about people usually have cannulas in their whole hospital stays it doesn't mean they are continuously attached to a drip

PinkPonyAnonymous · 03/04/2026 13:58

TwinklySquid · 03/04/2026 12:54

I was left in bloody sheets. They kept giving me those disposable Puppy Pad sheets to put over the blood instead of changing the sheets. When I complained I was essentially called a liar as they said the staff who manage the ward wouldn’t allow that.
I said both my partner and his father saw it. But nope, we were all liars 🙄

I’m sorry that happened to you. The postnatal ward to a tough place. It seems they need to about double the staffing.

PinkPonyAnonymous · 03/04/2026 14:03

StudyinBlue · 03/04/2026 12:17

This. Post birth I was in the bed I’ve given birth on with most of the associated gunk for over 24 hours before they changed it.. I kept asking for them to help me to the shower and change my bed but they were always ‘too busy’. I eventually got help when the breast feeding nurse came to talk to be about breast feeding. I basically said ‘stuff that’ please help me to the shower. I promptly collapsed as I got out of bed (had lost a lot of blood) and she got me in the shower. I then heard her doing a horrified stage whisper to some member of staff to come and change my bedding as it was a real mess. I ended up thinking the NHS is like a third world country and they expect friends and relatives to do the ‘grunt work’.

My partner had stayed until 9pm the previous day but because I had a drip for most of it they wouldn’t let me shower and then when it was removed was told I would be going up to the ward ‘soon’ and I could shower there. DP was taking paternity after I left hospital due to the mistaken belief I would be looked after whilst there and it was better he was available for when I came out. I also have never understood some people’s obsession with having a private room (which is what I had on that occasion) as it’s even more of an excuse to forget about/ignore you.

I am so sorry this was your experience. It is such a hard time and they need to staff the postnatal units better so that women are supported at the start of motherhood.

greengagejamandcrumpets · 03/04/2026 14:18

youalright · 03/04/2026 13:51

What are you talking about people usually have cannulas in their whole hospital stays it doesn't mean they are continuously attached to a drip

Exactly.

One of the first actions they perform after admittance is inserting a cannula. This is just in case the patient needs an IV drug urgently and it saves the doctor having to do it later when time is short.