Always worried about something

[Worry4Worry]

I don't know if this is the right place for this, apologies if not, but I thought maybe it would be helpful to know if I am going through what most go through or I need some sensible perspective.

In short, as the username states, I worry constantly.

Here are just some of the things that I worry about:

Cancer
Gaining weight
Alzheimers
War - International & Civil
Safety as a woman (for myself and my DD)
Being put into a nursing home and abused
Running out of money
Running out of food/choice of food
Losing my home
Aging
Being alone

Some of the things that cause these worries are:

Media
Social media
Experiences of family

I don't sleep well, at all. I probably average about 3 hours of sleep a night due to waking up with random, catastrophic thoughts. I have a bottle of wine, maybe every few days (?) then feel so scared that I drank cancer into myself and ruminate over that for days. To prove to myself that I'm overreacting, I will allow myself to drink again only to restart the cycle.

I'm on a total meal replacement diet (TMR), which has worked as far as weight loss (apart from causing crazy sugar craves that I indulge in after drinking but that's a different story), but I'm scared the ingredients are carcinogens or detrimental to health in other ways.

I'm worried 'meat' we buy is made in a lab and then refuse to eat it, so then eat the TMR food, but cycle back to the bad ingredients I know are in there and try to understand if they're worse than what I'm assuming is in the lab meat. Then, I'm try to figure out what these ingredients are going to cost me in terms of health.

I ate a banana already this morning and now I'm worried I'm going to gain weight and earn myself diabetes. So, I've planned a chicken breast salad for way later, after I walk 10k steps (maybe 20k) and drink black coffee in the interim.

I try to stay off the news because I believe it to be scare mongering propaganda but then I tell myself I have to be 'informed' and a cycle of doom starts all over.

Do I need some help or what? Do all people have these worries all the time or is it just me? I don't mind what the answer is, I just feel like I need some perspective. I drive my DH crazy with all of my worries so I don't want to go to him. He doesn't need to feel as crazy as I do!

Hope not too many of you are awake at 3:30 a.m. with any similar issues. But, hey, if you are, you're not alone.

“Do I need some help or what?”

what do you think, @Worry4Worry ?

I didn’t wanna read and run.

lying awake because I’m stressed at work and it’s overtaking my brain.

sounds like you have anxiety, have you spoke to your GP? I have anxiety alongside depression and PMDD I take Sertraline which helps a lot.

I don't really know. I have talked to a few other women i.e. MIL, mother, SIL and they say that they do the same thing e.g. worry and ruminate. My botox woman told me it was a sign of going to my 40's and possibly perimenopausal related. I never know if people are telling me things to pacify me or they're telling me things they really know via experience. I thought I'd ask here and get some unfiltered truth.

Thank you. I hope work goes okay for you today and you find you had nothing to worry about.

I kind of sympathise, adding being aware of animal abuse into the mix. I made the mistake of reading an Epatein thread on here once and did't sleep all night.

Alcohol is not a good fit for you right now and meal replacement shakes (is that what that is?) will never be able to properly replace real food with all that is in it that your body needs. Both of those things will be having an impact on your brain and internal signalling systems.

You are right to avoid the news. (In the mental place you are in right now.) I havent tuned in since Easter Sunday last year, and I'm no worse off, probably better. When shit gets really big- you'll hear from other sources. Rich men get even richer from keeping you in a state of fear and anger. Ditto social media; everytime you open the app you're making aome bloke in silicon valley even more disgustingly rich and paying for it with your peace.

Ditch the alcohol, synthetic food and medias. Get out in nature, take hot baths, dim the lights at home (big lights are for housework only!), turn down the general noise and devise a peacful calm nightime routine before you turn in.

ETA - i went this route rather than therapy as sometimes I find talking about stuff deeper and deeper makes it worse, when what I actually need to do is tune into other things instead.

I empathise. I'm awake too. Worrying and am so most nights.
I have an illness that is and will be increasingly life changing.
Yet instead of the health condition i worry about many other trivial things.

It sounds like a lot of intense worry and intrusive thoughts and also like you're trying for perfect risk avoidance, which you'll never reach. Possibly a bit of OCD?

I would ask for some help I think.

Oh @Worry4Worry I’m sending hugs.

No, this amount of worry is not “normal”
and you deserve a more peaceful life. Have you spoken to your GP? Please make an appointment and tell them what you’ve written here. Best of luck 🍀✌🏻

Gently, I think you do need some help. It’s very normal to worry about certain things but the intensity and frequency we worry about them and the overall effect it has on our day to day lives are what sets typical worrying v something deeper to do with MH.

me? I’m currently googling what age ASD shows and trawling through old videos of DD soon to be 3 to see where it all changed and looking at what I missed.

I feel nighttime is the worst for anxiety/worry/catastrophizing.

Thank you so much for your advice re: night time routine and tuning into other things.

I don't have a chaotic life at night but I do tend to wind down by doing things that aren't "peaceful" i.e. watching opinion TV, which inevitably becomes political, or other overstimulating things like TikTok.

I wouldn't have thought about these things you have kindly suggested, so I will try and see how I get on. ❤

I'm sorry you're going through worry for your DD. I remember the days when my DD was very young and worrying about things and, sadly, that has never ended but just evolved to include worries about adulthood instead of childhood.

I think you're right about the night time. I sometimes wonder if the lack of sun is causing exacerbation in negative thinking. I have tried to go out walking, at least 3 miles a day, when it's sunny. It sometimes helps but not enough, I guess.

I'm sorry to hear of your life changing illness. Is it a new diagnosis? Sometimes, I wonder if we worry about things because we don't know how to direct our attention to where it's needed, appropriately. I don't know. I hope you manage to get some rest.

I wouldn't use the word "unreasonable," but I think you need to talk to a therapist/counselor.

I often think AIBU ends up with posts that should be elsewhere, and in this case, I think there's a mental health forum. They might have some suggestions.

I worry a lot but you surpass me. During Covid when my stress levels went up I was offered Sertraline, but was advised about its initial effects so didn’t take it. GPs also offer gym memberships. Swimming, or the gym, or cycling, being outdoors as much as possible, eating unpackaged food and drinking within guidelines works for me. Worrying is horrible, time wasting, difficult to control and frustrating isn’t it?

Thanks.

I would have never thought to post on the MH forum because I am not viewing this as a MH thing but, rather, inability to worry with discernment about everything we're told to worry about.

For example, petrol rationing due to the Iran war? How concerned do I need to be about that? We haven't stock piled food or petrol? Do we need to?

What about the meningitis outbreak?

What about palm oil in Easter chocolate?

I don't seek reasons to worry but they are given to me and then I guess I don't understand what is a reasonable amount of worry versus just knowing about something.

Where is the line between worrying too much and being naïve or blasé?

Wow, I thought I was a worrier, but I'm nothing like your level. I think you need to seek help OP, it's really not normal to worry so much.

The line is wher simply acknowledging risk becomes rumination and anxiety. Petrol prices went up, I looked at my finances. Can I afford it right this minute? Yes. Do I know what will happen in the future? No. So there is no need to worry right now because I can afford petrol right now.

I found a lump in my breast last month. Fact - I have a lump in my breast. Do I know it is cancer? No. What do I need to do to find out - book a GP appointment and go to a breast clinic. Will stressing help me to find out the answer? No. Will stressing cure me from cancer? Also no. Ergo, there is no point in stressing until investigations are carried out. Investigations showed a cyst so the approach was exactly correct.

So always think - information as it is right now + appropriate action. That's all. That is your line.

Information - you ate a banana. Banana has 89 calories per 100g. To gain 1lb of fat, you need to consume 39 bananas. What's the action here? None because it is humanly impossible to get fat from eating one banana.

So you are worried about everything but have Botox injections? You do know what Botox is?

Thank you so much for this - this is logical and makes perfect sense. I will bookmark this and refer back.

Really do appreciate this very much ❤

I quit getting Botox about 2 years ago. I've had it a total of 4 times and 18 months apart. So, yes, I was worried and quit because I don't even take OTC pain killers so it didn't make sense to take any risk with Botox.

Edit to add: my 'botox woman' is an MD who specialised for over 20 years in gynaecology so not the typical aesthetician. As such, risk was talked over at length but, ultimately, I decided against any risk.

Thanks for asking.

Worries are not real they are thoughts on your head that are not currently happening and are often perceived things you feel you can’t change or control.
CBT can help help you understand your thoughts better and learn to separate yourself from them.

Meditation can help you live alongside your thoughts without getting drawn into them. Managing your sm, your sleep, diet, exercise, social time, life stresses can all help you feel better in yourself.
Worrying is habit forming the only way to overcome it is to retrain the brain think differently and to accept that thoughts come and go and often make no difference to the choices you make and the things you do.

Obviously I'm aware that things are 'out of whack' hence why I came here to get advice/perspective from other women who aren't related to me or close to me.

However, I don't view it as constructive to just pick up on things to criticise.

If you don't like Botox, fair enough, but are you going to pretend you've never eaten processed foods or drank alcohol?

If you're perfect, then great, teach me how to be as perfect as you. I'm a willing student.

Otherwise, I've come on here being transparent and you've come on here just to shame me when I asked for assistance?

Thanks but no thanks?

Thank you very much. "Worrying is a habit" makes sense. ❤

@Worry4Worry lay-off the wine.