AIBU to say DP must take responsibility for his elderly dog

[Libertybelle21]

Thoughts on what to do with 12 year old intermittently incontinent dog and owner (DP)…?

Both DP and I work full time, 2 kids aged 3 and 6. He came with the dog, but as he works away a lot, the burden of care largely falls to me. Not such an issue pre kids but it is now I am drowning with the logistics of work/ kids/ perimenopause, without the additional dog burden.

Have put up with it so far as I figured it was a package deal, but I am feeling increasingly screwed over for the amount of time, energy and (joint) money I spend on the dog. Which just takes away from any time, energy or money spent on myself.

And I am really struggling with the regular canine redecoration of our house (at least once a month, often more), which I arrived back to after a long day at work today….
Poo and wee over the kitchen floor, the sofa and living room carpet, the toilet floor….
Today is because DP forgot to book a dog walker or even ask MiL to let dog out : ( so am mostly feeling sorry for the poor doggo this time.
Other reasons for in house shits include:

• not being taken out for a proper walk (she will wee but won’t poo in our garden)
• inflammatory bowel disease (largely under control with special diet)
• a terrible fear of hot air balloons and fireworks

but there is no obvious precipitant half the time.

TBH I don’t think DP does a great job of looking after her even when he is around… forgets to buy dog food when it runs out, or let her out for a wee between work calls, although he does walk her every day

I’m thinking he shouldn’t have a dog if even he can’t manage to look after her properly/ make arrangements for her when he’s not around.
I’m finding the logistics of school, childcare and work hard enough already, in addition to perimenopause joy, I can’t be dealing with the dog too.

But whilst I am merely fond of our dog but not massively attached, he adores her more than the children and I don’t know what to do next. We can’t rehome her at this age/ state, we can’t put her down (I doubt he’ll even consider a discussion on this without getting upset and angry) he can’t quit his job and I just can’t keep doing this…

I'd do the kind thing and get the dog PTS. She is being neglected, your house is becoming a literal shit tip and that can't be good for your DC.

I agree with above, best for the dog to be PTS.
Your waster husband refuses to take responsibility and you are drowning juggling it all.
An incontinent dog around children is not acceptable.
I so admire when women point blank refuse to have animals that they know will be left to their sole care.

My children wanted a dog but with their super busy lives and their inability to be relied on to do regular chores without reminding, there was no way I was listening to promises to the contrary.
I wouldn't entertain it.
They can get a dog as adults in their own home.

I know so many women who were caught out.
Unsurprisingly when the dog eventually passed and their kids mentioned another dog, it was shut down so quickly.
I actually like animals too, but don't need nor want the responsibility of it.

I’d be making it clear the dog either goes to live with mil or gets put down if he isn’t going to take responsibility for it when he’s there and also when he’s away! Make it VERY clear the dog staying in your house with you looking after it is not going to continue and whether this means he leaves with the dog then you don’t care but you’ve had it up to here with looking after HIS dog!!!

Absolutely this!

Not your problem. His dog his responsibility. You have to make it clear and be resolute in terms of care of the dog it is you or the dog

He is a cruel excuse of a man.
And you are standing by and enabling his cruelty.
That poor old dog.

This is animal cruelty. You should both be ashamed. He doesn’t love the dog.

Honestly just LTB what a waste of space

Sounds like you are going through an awful time all round, OP.

There is no silver bullet solution for this that anyone will be able to suggest, sadly.

From everything you say I don't think your husband is an out and out cunt generally? He has just dropped the ball big-time on the dog front, currently.

Tell him the impact it is having on you, and that it needs to change. He needs to get the dog walker booked for days he can't do it, and the kibble on some kind of repeat order.

I know it's not a magic solution, but if he takes more responsibility for things like this, hopefully that will help a little.

Good luck.

Don't be so absolutely absurd. He's forgotten to book the dog walker - he isn't beating it to death.

Nobody sane leaves their partner because they made a mistake.

Your boyfriend or girlfriend needs to book dog into a kennel during the day.

Firstly, to minimise the mess, make sure you shut the dog in one room when you do go out.

Also, it does sound like your DP has dumped responsibility on you. He needs to be letting the dog out regularly and clearing up the mess too.

we have an older German Shepard who started to have the occasional accident, a vet trip and a more sensitive diet seemed to be the answer but the real game changer was getting a local dog walker, she comes 3 days a week every single week even if we have a day off we don’t cancel, he’s 13 years old, he’s got arthritis and he’s not doing well but he absolutely loves the dog walker and it’s made our lives so much easier not having to juggle who’s job it is to cover walks. 3 30 minute walks per week costs us £36 and I’m more than happy to pay it, I highly recommend you do the same. It takes a huge load off

Poor dog, I feel so sorry for the poor thing 😞

Order food online with a repeat prescription. Book regular dog walker to come every day to walk her at his expense. Ask MIL to help out where necessary and get the useless excuse for a human being clear up any accidents. God help your poor kids if anything happened to you

Wow! Must be a lot of hot air balloons in your area.