(No I'm blardy not so don't even try arguing with me....) to be annoyed at family members forgetting dc's birthday?

[DANCESwithLordPottingtonSmythe]

Before anyone shouts PFB - I've got two dc, and it's not a pfb thing. I always make time to choose, wrap (obviously) and post things in time to dc's cousins (three of them) for their birthdays. They didn't remember ds's birthday this year (also forgot last year, remembered about three weeks later, rang, apologised, said they'd send something then didn't) It's not that ds needs any thing (got far too much as it is this year ) but it just p*sses me off that I make an effort and they don't. I'm sure I'm holding the moral high ground (blah blah) but I feel like just not bothering any more

Rant over

My mum forgot ds1's birthday two years in a row. She was angry with me for not reminding her.

no, am the same, am always the one who remembers birthdays, makes efforts to choose appropriate presents/card/wrapping and has them there on time and its NOT done for reciprication (SP!?) purposes BUT it would be nice once in a while for them to remember the wee ones

carry on with rant

as you were................

Message withdrawn

YANBU. My dd got nothing from her uncle and aunties for her 1st bday and I was bloody fuming too. I felt exactly the same as you but will continue to buy for my nieces and nephews because it's not their fault that my siblings are so utterly crap

YARGH! It's doubly annoying because they have far more money than us (as they like to remind us by showing off all their new purchases every time we see them) but clearly money doesn't buy manners which actually doesn't have anything to do with this but just irritates me generally

YANBU. My Ds got a gift from my half-sister that I have only met twice. My three brothers, however, nothing. Nada. Zilch. In fact, two of them have never seen DS. Oh well.

hhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm

I think you are being a bit unreasonable tbh. It isnt compulsory to give presents. So they forgot, your ds got loads anyway. I am sure they didnt do it on purpose in order to offend you and I am sure they are grateful of your gifts to them

I don't think YABU but I also wouldn't bother sending more than a card in future. If they query just say you didn't think they wanted to do presents. Better that than getting wound up about it even if it does mean you keep the moral high ground

Shouldn't presents be freely given rather than expected? My sister regularly forgets DS' birthday even though we send her DCs stuff every Christmas and birthday - but he doesn't notice or care, so why should I?

I know she'd be there in a second if he needed her help, that's what counts.

The issue isn't that no gift was given, it was that the birthday was forgotten completely - no card or phone call.

OOOOOOOOOoooh, controversial stance. Yes you are right too in an annoyingly selfless, self righteous way but I'm just not that big. It's nothing to do with the presents. Really I'd rather we just both sent cards instead of spending money on presents our dc don't need, it's just the carelessness that pisses me off.

DLPS YANBU

I am with you on this still waiting for a call for dd`s birthday back in April

Decided I am not going to make an effort anymore .Think you should do the same

I have forgotten peoples birthdays, it doesnt mean I dont care about the people involved, it just means I have forgotten. It really is that simple with me. I try to console myself with the fact I am a good friend and relative without having to 'buy' things

Littlest Badger. You speak sense. I think that is what I'll do from now on. Just a card to show we've remembered even if our children aren't of interest to them . Shame is that when we get together (we live a long way from each other) the cousins get on really well. In fact this year it was ds who noticed they had forgotten not me as he loves them.

but do you honestly give their children presents in order for yours to get one in return?

Ryobi - it's not the buying (as I've said) that matters. We live a long way apart, just one card a year to show dc they remember them isn't alot to ask.

i alwyasd forget my neices and nephews birthdays.

i am a shit aunt.

So they should live to your standards? Do you feel like this about everything? Some people don't care about birthdays (I certainly don't). I also hate getting well-meant crap from people who barely know my children but who happen to be related.

am not arguing though, just musing aloud

FARKIN' HELL RYOBI.

Let me spell this out...

IT ISN'T ABOUT THE PRESENTS. I NEVER GIVE ANYTHING EXPECTING TO RECEIVE IN RETURN. [angry} Now I really am annoyed. I am NOT that person at all.

you arent a shit aunt misdee, you just have alot on your plate (as do I). Birthdays get lost in the fog of everything else

Some people just arent as organised as others dances

'Well meant crap'. Blimey. I'm glad I'm not one of your friends or relations. You sound horribly ungrateful.

I dont know why you are getting angry. I asked you a question. When you calm down read the thread back

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Ryobi - I am a very disorganised person which is why it farks me off so much that I make a massive effort to do this and they can't be bothered.