To complain about my yoga studio nemesis

[Goodmorningvinyasa]

I’ve been practicing yoga for years and have joined a new studio that recently opened in my area. It’s lovely and I’m grateful to have it. It seems to have attracted a few people trying yoga for the first time, which is great. However, my heart sinks when I see one man in particular walking into the class and I’m starting to wonder if I should ask the staff to have a quiet word with him about spatial awareness and studio etiquette.

The first time he was in the same class as me a couple of weeks ago, he came in late (only studio I’ve ever been to that allows that), got a mat, and plonked it immediately in front of mine with only a few centimetres of space between our mats. He was at the front of the room with lots of space in front of him. As the class had already started, it was ages before I had a chance to ask him to move forward, meaning I spent most of the hour paying attention to where he was and making sure I didn’t get kicked in the face rather than concentrating on what I was doing.

At the same class last night, he got up to leave the room for a break halfway through. Rather than walking to the front and down the side of the room, he walked between my mat and the person behind me at the exact moment we were doing one legged dog (downward dog with one leg kicking into the air for non-yoga people) so I kicked him as I lifted my leg. For context, I am 5ft tall and have never been known for having long and elegant legs, so he must have been very close to my mat or even walking on it for it to be possible for me to kick him. Entirely his own fault.

I want to ask the staff to quietly speak to him about being careful of where you are and what other people are doing. He’s over 6ft and could easily hurt someone unintentionally. He also has a habit of trying to force his body into poses he isn’t ready for and then making noises I’ve never heard before in a yoga class. Yesterday I came out of a pose because I thought someone was having a panic attack from the noises he was making. But if I say anything I will focus on the safety aspects. AIBU to mention it to the staff?

I’m sorry OP, that sounds annoying but I’m not sure what the staff can really do about it without being confrontational - most of things you describe are bothersome, but could be plausibly explained away as just an inconvenience.

Maybe you could ask the instructor to make a general announcement about respecting other people’s space and being mindful of where they walk etc.

I do understand though - I go to a Pilates class, and there are one or two men who attend who seem to make so much noise and faff, it’s like they are deliberately trying to draw attention to themselves. It’s quite annoying, as everyone else just gets on with it.

I'd have a quiet word with the instructor. Not fair that you're paying for classes you can't make the most of because your focus is on this man.

Similarly to the poster above I stopped going to a lovely class because the only man who went sounded like he was in labour with his breathing (everyone else in the room was able to breathe quietly). I had the misfortune of being next to him one day and I thought we might need to call an ambulance he was huffing and puffing so much! It felt completely uneccessary and ultimately costs the instructor when an annoying person puts others off of attending.

Good luck, I hope someone speaks to him and his spatial awareness greatly improves!

FGS
Why are they so clueless.
Just talk to him like a child, men like this usually respond quite well if you're firm but kind, e.g

Hi, Paul, I was wondering if you could make sure there's a few feet around you when you move about the mats, as there's a danger someone will kick you, I did and it didn't feel great.

I had one man who used to sweat profusely and somehow fling it everywhere, including on to me.

Repulsive.

On proximity just say to him! "Excuse me please move forward a bit you are at risk of kicking me in the face".

Non related, but similar vein, I had to tell 2 men to shut up who were yapping loudly during a very quiet Tracey Emin video where she was talking about abortion. It was the most satisfying thing I've done recently 😂

Every time I do something like this people look at me like I'm deranged, I know it's not very British, but it's totally reasonable and rational.

I'd definitely ask the instructor to make a general announcement about being mindful of where you place your mat in relation to others' and where you walk. I wouldn't mention respecting other people’s space; I'd just word it as a practicality and safety thing. You could say you kicked someone unwittingly as they were so close to your mat, and obviously no one wants that to happen again.
I'd say though that the instructor should have noticed and be aware of stuff like this, and have made this sort of announcement already.

As for him trying to do poses before he's ready and making struggling noises, you can't really say anything to the instructor about that. Again, though, I'm slightly surprised that the instructor hadn't noticed/isn't managing things like this.

You're right of course but it’s tricky to do that when a class has already started. Another reason why most studios don’t allow latecomers!

Oh my gosh that’s it, that’s EXACTLY what he sounds like 😂

I think you’re right about him struggling in the class - I’m surprised he hasn’t been guided towards some more beginner-friendly classes as this is more intermediate level. Or if he has then he has ignored the advice!

Yes, it's possible they've suggested different classes and he's ignored them.

I don't really see the dilemma

Yes, of course ask the staff to have a word with him

The mat placement thing is annoying, but the best response to that, if it happens again, is to ask him immediately to move away a bit. Have a form of words prepared so that you can instantly speak without feeling flustered and apologetic.

Hopefully the mistake of walking too close was a one-off (and the kick will have been enough of a lesson to help him do better in future!)

I don't think you can object to the huffing and puffing noises.

I'm a bit like you, OP, in that I do get tense and irritable when other people behave in ways that disrupt my focus in yoga. But honestly it is a very un-yogic (I think I just made that word up!) attitude to stress about these challenges and seek to eliminate them. Yoga is a mental practice as well as a physical one, and it specifically invites us to sit tolerantly with imperfections.
When we feel a physical discomfort in our body, we use it as a resource to introspect/explore the edge of our physical capacities, and to generate an optimal amount of gentle challenge. In this sense we need to embrace it rather than fight it. I try to remind myself that we can take the same approach to external sources of discomfort. Use them as a resource for gentle introspection of the thoughts and attitudes that are the mental correlate of the physical twinges from tight hips etc.

In my gym, yoga classes often have intensely noisy Zumba classes next door, so the relaxation is against a background of loud music and whooping instructors. Or there will be the endless squeaks and bats and shouting from a nearby squash court. I try to accept them as sounds to focus on for mindfulness support.

Like you I have to speak up, I don't tolerate idiots either. I'm not bothered what other people think, I'm polite, that usually works, before I'm bolshy. they can tut, roll their eyes huff and puff like the woman who tried to push in the supermarket queue yesterday with a heaving trolley. "There is a queue and I'm in front of you, you are not pushing in front."
She tangled with the wrong person - me.

This. You can ask him to move so you’re not discommoded, OP, but everything else is pretty standard yoga class minor annoyance stuff.

My DH took up Pilates a while back.

I told him not to do any performance breathing & to be careful about people's "spots".

Now he's been going a while, he totally understands why. He even got very cross recently when a new bloke turned up & was noisy.

Definitely say something if he's in your space. It's not ok.

I would ask him to move the minute he plonked his mat down. Even if it was super quiet. Otherwise you will ruin your own practice worrying about his flailing limbs.

I don't disagree with the general principles (I used to do yoga classes at a studio next to a very well-used London park/green, so would often meditate to the sounds of football games, kids shouting, dogs barking etc!), but people kicking other students in yoga is obviously a health and safety hazard, and I would have thought the studio would be more vigilant about it. Apart from anything else, they are making themselves vulnerable to litigation if anyone should get injured.

One legged dog! 🤣

I’ll be honest, I had a brain fart when writing the post and called it that because one of the teachers at the studio calls it that. Until now I’ve only heard it called three legged dog, which possibly sounds a bit less ridiculous 😂

You do realise some of us have hyperhidrosis and cannot bloody help it don’t you?!? There’s nothing ‘repulsive’ about it, it is actually just water! It’s only bacteria-ridden when left on the skin for a while.

Usual bit of Mumsnet ableism! Reported.

@Goodmorningvinyasa Hehe I wouldn’t know as I’m disabled so the last place you’d find me is in any kind of studio but it did give me a funny visual. My fully-legged dog does do the ‘Downward-Dog’ pose occasionally though ☺️

I had exactly the same experience. What is it with some people and having a complete inability to behave appropriately in a public space?

All you need to do as others said is was just get the instructor to announce to be mindful about mat placement and walking around
I’m not getting the drama

by the sounds of it you were pissed off at him being late and it just went downhill from there tbh I think anything he did would just piss you off

you’ll be gunning for him soon as you go into your next class

you’d hate my class there the click at the front left that put mats out for there friends and guard empty mats like they nation treasure they will move you if you put a mat there, 1 guy that uses about 5 blocks stack up ,guy that grunts a woman who breathes out line like she’s trying to expel satan from her soul there’s a silent but deadly mystery garter but I have my suspicions