To complain about my yoga studio nemesis

[Goodmorningvinyasa]

I’ve been practicing yoga for years and have joined a new studio that recently opened in my area. It’s lovely and I’m grateful to have it. It seems to have attracted a few people trying yoga for the first time, which is great. However, my heart sinks when I see one man in particular walking into the class and I’m starting to wonder if I should ask the staff to have a quiet word with him about spatial awareness and studio etiquette.

The first time he was in the same class as me a couple of weeks ago, he came in late (only studio I’ve ever been to that allows that), got a mat, and plonked it immediately in front of mine with only a few centimetres of space between our mats. He was at the front of the room with lots of space in front of him. As the class had already started, it was ages before I had a chance to ask him to move forward, meaning I spent most of the hour paying attention to where he was and making sure I didn’t get kicked in the face rather than concentrating on what I was doing.

At the same class last night, he got up to leave the room for a break halfway through. Rather than walking to the front and down the side of the room, he walked between my mat and the person behind me at the exact moment we were doing one legged dog (downward dog with one leg kicking into the air for non-yoga people) so I kicked him as I lifted my leg. For context, I am 5ft tall and have never been known for having long and elegant legs, so he must have been very close to my mat or even walking on it for it to be possible for me to kick him. Entirely his own fault.

I want to ask the staff to quietly speak to him about being careful of where you are and what other people are doing. He’s over 6ft and could easily hurt someone unintentionally. He also has a habit of trying to force his body into poses he isn’t ready for and then making noises I’ve never heard before in a yoga class. Yesterday I came out of a pose because I thought someone was having a panic attack from the noises he was making. But if I say anything I will focus on the safety aspects. AIBU to mention it to the staff?

🤣🤣

You should address instances as they arise with him directly

Were you swimming with me today ha I. Why do they lurk in groups like a Turkish bath aswell ..im so tempted to swim into them like they are the wall and push off from the balls not the walls. Grim

I have given up group exercise classes because of the noises people make.

The worst male offender was a very tall middle aged man at CrossFit who used to make extremely high pitched yelping / whimpering noises - somewhere between Michael Jackson and a coyote in heat. It startled the shit out of everyone, but he insisted that he wasn’t in pain, just ‘enjoying the workout’.

Then there was quite an elderly woman in my Pilates class who would moan orgasmically whenever we did any exercises involving the psoas muscle. We all studiously pretended not to notice, and avoided making eye contact with anyone else. After about three classes of her ecstatic panting and groaning I decided I wasn’t going to pay good money to feel that tense and awkward every week.

I think exercise instructors and bodywork practitioners generally have to deal with more than their fair share of awkward situations with socially misattuned people.

@VoltaireMittyDream "I think exercise instructors and bodywork practitioners generally have to deal with more than their fair share of awkward situations with socially misattuned people"

are they actually dealing with them though? I haven't been to anything like this for 20 years plus. I don't know if they've all hit the point where they're worried about being sued or something.

@Goodmorningvinyasa oh I see, yeah I totally understand but it shouldn't be up to you to have to ask somebody that in a class. The instructor should've noticed straight away.

Someone repeatedly threw a bar down in Crossfit, without the bumper plates and I did have a right go...I have now trained as a coach (not CF) so I wonder if I would say something.

Problem with me is that I'm both gobby and sensitive, which is a terrible combination for having a go at people.

Every yoga class I’ve ever been to has featured at least one man who lacked any sense of spatial awareness, flinging his limbs all over whilst everyone around him tries to avoid a fist or a foot to the face. It’s like it’s part of the practice now.

In this instance your instructor is being rubbish - allowing late arrivals, not seeing that Mr Gobshite is not placing his mat safely to avoid kicking or being kicked, wandering off mid class and over exerting himself when his body isn’t ready. They should be on him like a hawk. Speak to them. Repeatedly if necessary. He needs to learn the etiquette of being in a class with other people.

@EmeraldRoulette I suppose I meant they encounter more of people’s most visibly bizarre behaviour, not to mention their smells and unbridled grunting and moaning.

Most classes I have been to, the instructors are good about making sure everyone has enough space, being very clear about where mats should go, etc. But I think there’s not much you can do about the noises people make (or their personal odour, which is another factor that eventually put me off group exercise)

I teach yoga ..
It’s the teachers job to manage the class . However it’s a lot -
tell people to turn off phones , watches , ring doorbells etc . Tell people to get blocks - we use them everytime . Ask people about injuries and illnesses . Ask people to manage their own practice and listen to their own bodies . Ask people not to leave during savasana !! Ask people to arrive on time .
Oh and then provide an hour or more of breath work , meditation , asana , mindfulness and relaxation - with a yogic philosophy.
The measly pay you get for all this is unbelievable!

Typical, it had to be a man. Prepare for a hostile reaction if you speak to him.

I think as a grown up who is capable of speaking for themselves I would just ask him politely but directly to move his mat.

Why the drama? Why the long explanation? Why is he your nemesis (and the hyperbolic language)? Why tell the instructor?

Very simple. Say something.

In the summer I swim at a large open air facility frequented by many middle aged women gently breastroking around, enjoying nature etc, maybe chatting quietly in pairs. Inevitably you hear approaching from far behind a triathlete who will splash past creating massive waves with flippers, breathing noisily. Once a woman caught my eye, rolled her eyes, and said "wankers in wetsuits". We laughed. I find most other people in exercise classes annoying, being quite intolerant. Have you ever been in a soundbath where the person next to you goes straight to sleep and snores throughout, louder than any of the instruments being played? I have

I would have absolutely made surely I "accidentally" kicked him. Next time he plonks his mat near mine I would ask him to give me more space. My teacher would absolutely pick up on this though anyway, she's very keen on good spacing!

Had to look up swim gloves - bizarre for a pool. I wonder if he has some kind of circulatory disorder like raynaud's or if he's just a berk

A lot of men have no concept of personal space or low-level noise nuisance and it's infuriating. One that pisses me off greatly is whistling in shops or copiously crinkling crisp packets on the train. Shut the fuck up!

I looked them up too. I had a sort of Trigger Happy TV massive foam pair in my mind
TBH I can imagine wearing them in a pool, but more because my hands are dry and get prune-like very fast than because they'd get cold.

The pool is used by lots of older people and kids, so it's normally kept over 30C.

Just a berk, I think, exuding lots of alpha male twat vibes.

I don't mind the gloves but they were making a lot of spray, that hit me, practically 2 lanes away....

I feel for the instructors as well in these situations! Imagine having to either let someone spoil the class for everyone else or broach saying to them, "can you please stop panting/moaning/grunting [you freak]"

Quite - a man's twat levels usually correlate with the quantity of specialist gear he's donned, I think. I'm put in mind of the obligatory Grunting ManTM in any given gym, always wearing weightlifting gloves with some kind of concoction in a shaker bottle. Or MAMIL cyclists holding up a long queue of cars on a rural A-road (I'm a cyclist, just not a prick)

It’s a shame to read that so many people have experienced stuff like this - I must have got lucky in other studios as this is something new for me. I think I need to be a bit more vocal if it happens again and not be so concerned about causing a disruption. As another poster said, hopefully getting kicked will be a lesson for him.

Ask the instructor to do some focus on pranayama at the start
to hopefully hint to the noisy ones about keeping one's mouth closed.

And yes, the instructor should suggest that everybody keeps a saffe distance between mats.

I started doing yoga when I was 15, and in my 40s I went to a new class and I knew most of the poses but I'm not very fast. So be gentle on people who don't seem as experienced as you! The teacher in that class said "it's NOT for beginners, you should have been told that" at the end. I never went back (I now do Pilates, and the teacher is very good at asking people to shift up a bit or helping them if they aren't quite doing it right).
But yes you can ask them to shift up, and so can the teacher. I am short also and hate having someone tall in front of me because you have to keep dodging from side to side to see past them.

@threescoops had this at a sound bath recently. It wasn’t exclusively for women but it was billed with sisterhood, sisters, womanhood type words in the title, so I was a bit surprised to see a bloke there but thought whatever. He was walking around jabbering on his phone, trampling over everyone’s mats while we all calmly set up our spaces. During the starting meditation he was loudly and performatively stretching and groaning, then came the huffing and puffing as he flailed around to lie down, arms and legs in everyone’s spaces. Then as soon as it properly began, he was straight off to sleep, of course snoring and snorting loudly. Ffs. Christ knows why his female friend/partner had a) brought him and b) didn’t nudge him to stfu. Meanwhile 8-9 other women in the class somehow managed to lie respectfully in their own places and quietly stay still not snoring 🙄 they really are entitled dicks aren’t they. Like they have to do everything loudly and as intrusively as possible. Particularly when in women’s spaces.

I knew most of the poses but I'm not very fast. So be gentle on people who don't seem as experienced as you!
But the OP isn't objecting to his speed. She says 'He also has a habit of trying to force his body into poses he isn’t ready for'.