To have little sympathy with celebrities with their addictions?

[Talldaisy13]

This isn’t about anyone in particular. Just that there are so many celebrities with drug and alcohol problems and they end up ruining not only their own lives but the lives of others.

I know that money and status doesn’t mean you are exempt from mental health problems. But there’s so much navel gazing and some seem to have no self awareness.

I’ve had close family members with addictions and although I understand that it’s supposed to be an illness, I’ve found that they blame everyone else for their problems and destroy everyone around them.

I probably feel the same about anyone but with celebrities it seems even worse when they have the means to get help and have lives others can only dream of.

Your title is misleading, and clearly you don't have sympathy for anyone with addiction- celebrity or not.

YABU.

I have a certain amount of sympathy, but more so for the families of the person.

If Sarah from a council estate went on heroin and gets her kids taken into care, people just thing she’s a scumbag, if Dave from the nice area gambles and boozes and loses his family home and life savings, people think he’s a right loser.

But when celebrities do it everyone seems to feel so sorry for them.

I’m a recovering alcoholic. I don’t think I’m any more special than anyone else. I have generally had quite a good life (minus some childhood trauma and generally shit parents). I’m not any more or less deserving of an addiction than someone in the public eye or someone who has had a less privileged life.

I know a lot of addicts and they come in all shapes and sizes. They do not fit the stereotypes you might think at all. And you almost certainly have someone close to you who you like a lot who is an addict, but you truly don’t know.

Aside from my husband, I can guarantee that absolutely no one in my life knew I was drinking 200+ units of alcohol a week. I was going to work in a very prestigious job. My kids are well put together and do well in school and involved in lots of activities and high achieving. I’m active and fit. I have hobbies and do lots in the community. I never got a DUI or lost my job or lost my house or got in trouble with the police. I know very few alcoholics who fit that caricature you describe. People are shocked to hear I don’t drink now.

Most people feel warmly towards people they don’t think are tits. Anyone who is drunk and abusive towards their kids, isn’t going to be thought of very kindly, though, yes, of course, we know if you’re middle class and white, you’re more likely to get a free pass. If you’re generally nice and well liked and people think that every couple months, you might have one too many (this was me!), they’ll still think good things of you…because they don’t really know what’s going on behind closed doors every day if you’re good at covering your tracks.

Celebrities are a bit of a wild card. People either love them and have weird parasocial relationships with them. Or they vehemently hate them. I can guarantee if, say, Meghan Markle said she was an addict and went to rehab, people would not treat that information kindly! I think it depends what sort of crazy person you talk to. I personally hardly know who most celebrities are, so I’d have zero opinion about them other than I could relate to them from an addiction standpoint, but whether they’re famous or not would mean zilch to me. Someone who is a fan and super obsessed with that crap would likely feel differently.

You can feel sympathy for the family and still feel for the addict at the same time. It doesn't have to be a one or the other. Addiction is so complex. It absolutely destroys lives both the addict and people around them. It's a shit situation.

I dont think celeb addicts are celebrated. Their scandals are shown on every outlet, their personal lives are leaked to the press by so called friends. A crap photo can be manipulated into a thousand different scenarios bar the truth. There's nothing glam about being a celeb addict bar money and sadly even the richest still end up in a grave if the addiction takes over. Maybe those who recover are celebrated but so are normal people, there are plenty of recovered addicts who go on radio, tv, online and I always think good for them.

. Of course active addicts blame others, they are addicted to a substance that has altered their reasoning and behaviour. It's bloody awful and so unfair to their families but it's not that black and white.

This ^^ 100%

How they earn their money is irrelevant.

The OP has no sympathy for any addict from what they've written.

At least if you're just Sarah from the council estate you can be an addict fairly privately. The worst that can happen is your neighbours might know about it.

If you're famous the whole flipping world knows about it. So I do have sympathy for that. I have sympathy for all addicts anyway as it's a mental illness.

Not just a lack of sympathy, but a complete lack of knowledge and understanding around addiction and it’s causes.

I’m glad to hear you are recovering.

My dad was an alcoholic and I’m so traumatised by it I absolutely despise it when people drink too much. I also almost lost a relative to drugs/gambling and I hate that the person wouldn’t/couldn’t put their children first.

I tend to be able to spot the functioning alcoholics a mile away, I often get shut down when I point it out. For example my husband’s uncle was an alcoholic, dh insisted that he wasn’t and just liked a drink. Of course later on it became clear that he was.

But that’s exactly what I mean, middle class/celebrity addicts often get a free pass and sympathy.

Drug addiction I have very little sympathy for, whoever you are. Everyone knows it’s a bad idea to take drugs in the first place. No one starts taking drugs without knowing they’re dangerous.

I don't think any celebrity who got wasted on heroin and had their DCs taken into care would have much sympathy from the public. Same if they gambled their savings and house away and made their family homeless - I can't see many people feeling sympathy for them.

I think your point is a little mixed tbh - you seem to have a problem with celebrities. And I have a problem with the definition of celebrity!

Many people who are not celebs earn huge amounts of money - they're not famous, just rich. Many celebs aren't hugely rich. And not just because they've wasted their cash on drugs.

Matt Willis from Busted is a recovering drugs and alcohol addict - he has spoken a lot about it. I think there is a certain amount of empathy for him as he has cleaned up, been honest about what he's done and is involved in lots of charity work for recovering addicts. Yes he messed up, but he has turned his life around and is now using his experience to help and support others. I think that's admirable.

Would Sarah from the council estate or Dave from the nice area be of a similar mind to use their experiences to help others? Who knows?

We're all human and celebs are ordinary people with extraordinary jobs and/or public profiles. I do know some very high profile people who have the same worries - health, kids etc as the rest of us. They are not immune to tragedy and they don't deserve it just because they are famous.

That’s how I feel tbh.

I’m sure that there are certain cases where a very young person has been groomed or exploited for for the most part, you know the minute you agree to take drugs that it’s dangerous.

Those are absolutely fair points.

However there definitely are famous people who have lost custody of their children and/or lost their lives to addiction and still get outpouring of sympathy. Perhaps it depends on what bits of the internet you read.

It doesn’t have to be extreme enough to even be on heroin and lose your children, functioning addicts do so much damage to their families and loved ones.

With the example of Matt Willis. Yes I do struggle to have any sympathy, although I respect him a lot for recovering and for using his problems to help others.

My cousin is a recovering alcoholic, there’s no real support in our area to detox (she tried to just stop and had a seizure ) she was told to reduced her drinking by one unit a day. So the only way an alcoholic could get off alcohol was to continue to drink alcohol but have a bit less. Luckily she had some savings and paid 25k to go to rehab when they did a medical detox. Most people don’t have the money to do that.

We live in a society which encourages people to seek celebrity and fame, in the face of overwhelming evidence that many of those people self destruct, seeking more, because what they've got, however rich n famous they are, is evidently not enough.

I feel sick at how many talented, beautiful young people, full of potential, self destruct through drink, alcohol and sex/destructive relationships in the public eye. Yes their kids and families deserve our sympathy. And so do those who fall victim to addictions without the fame. But I do feel we all perhaps unwittingly help to create the conditions which lead them to think they are so special they head off on that downward spiral - even though it looks as if they are flying high. From Marilyn Munroe to Brittany, Kurt Kobain to George Michael - all so much in the public eye. Sometimes it's easier to count the stars who don't have to grapple with addiction.

I have a very different sort of sympathy with those addicted escaping abuse and pain or just youth - our society doesn't do a great job of protecting or helping them, and they certainly can't afford the expensive detox clinics in the same way, so need and deserve so much more support, but at the risk of crushing their creativity and fame. Id love to be able to step in and tell Amy Winehouse, and Elvis and Whitney that they could have a life after music which was not dominated by drugs, and that was as rich and meaningful as public adoration . . .

I don't believe that addiction discriminates about who's got more money or who's more famous.
I think being famous must be hellishly pressured and weird, and breed egocentrism and insecurity in about equal measure. If you've got money and are surrounded by people enabling you/not telling you no, I can well imagine addiction taking hold.

I also think Sarah from a council estate clearly has the dice loaded against her from the start, not that she’s 'a scumbag'.
And Dave from the nice area got unlucky with a combination of genes/family history/a certain level of wealth and privilege, so I don't think 'he’s a right loser'.

All of these cases/scenarios are possible to understand if you just apply a little bit of imagination.

I agree with you OP. I remember a few months ago there was a thread about things that are trashy if an ordinary person does it but OK or accepted if someone rich or famous does it. Taking drugs and drinking features quite high.

The same can be said about mental illness. Celebrities are viewed as brave for discussing their MH. An ordinary person would be labelled as a benefit scrounger, mallingering or creepy.

‘Addictions’ or ‘mental heath issues’ can be just another form of attention-whoring by celebrities, particularly those whose fame is fading.

‘My drug & booze hell’ is an effective way of getting sympathetic media coverage or maybe a book deal. The redemption narrative ‘My rehab journey’ then becomes another cash cow to be milked. It’s all about raising the profile, and then monetising it.

The likes of Katie Price have been doing this for decades.

Katie Price had a huge amount of leeway with keeping her children despite drink and drug issues. Sarah from the council estate would have lost her children every single time (I know of someone who lost 7 children, they gave her a chance she relapsed they removed the children she sobered up new relationship new baby new car crash behaviour for YEARS) child actors drinking on set laughing like its hilarious still gets a job Sarah from the council estate cant get a paperound (when they were a thing) "cos she's a pisshead"

I possibly have less sympathy for celebrities because real life doesn't happen to them for a long long time they get there teeth fixed detoxed poured into work then fall off the rails find Jesus starts again

Sarah from the council estate goes to church no-one notices few people care

I actually have a lot of sympathy for people with addictions. The main reason being, that at some point they haven't had the support to prevent falling into it.
In the wake of Diddy and Epstein scandals coming to light, I think it is clearer the sheer abuse in the world that leads people down these paths. There are those in control that have a "habit", that have power and influence and abuse it. They peer pressure others into it, and those others don't have the same control, even if they started thinking they did.
The same goes for people at any part of the socio-economic spectrum. I feel more for the less wealthy, and those without a community to support them, they don't have access to rehabs and support that could help them get clean. They're also in systems and environments that just don't help them get out and stay out.

Fame is a toxin. It damages people in ways they don't expect.

Do celebrities really get sympathy or are is it bots or people being contrary because it’s the Internet. For example most people would agree that Katie Price should have been convicted of drink
driving and that her kids have had to endure terribly chaotic lives. There will be someone on places like here who will post asking if they are the only ones feeling sorry for her.

Drew Barrymore has been frank about having alcohol and drug addictions before even turning into a teen. I feel very sorry for her and respect her recovery.

But when celebrities do it everyone seems to feel so sorry for them.

Do they? Not something I'd noticed. Quite the opposite, actually.

I’m a bot because I disagree with the OP

@ConstanzeMozart

I think being famous must be hellishly pressured and weird, and breed egocentrism and insecurity in about equal measure. If you've got money and are surrounded by people enabling you/not telling you no, I can well imagine addiction taking hold.

And yet the majority don't get drawn into the spiral of addiction, bankruptcy, etc., so there must be something more than just being rich and/or famous.

It's the same with the ones always whingeing about lack of privacy etc., yet are regularly flaunting themselves and family in mainstream media, social media, etc., whereas with other "celebrities" the general public don't even know who their partner is nor whether they have children, as they keep their private life private as far as possible and don't go courting the media and publicity etc.

If someone has a tendency towards addiction or bankruptcy (heredity, family background; there are loads of possible combinations of circumstances) and fame/money/bad people around them are added to that, it's quite likely that they will become addicted to something/go bankrupt/both.
Someone who has a different combination of circumstances may not.