I want to get off benefits

[peanutbutterjelly563]

But how?

I work full time. I went to university. I ended up a single parent.

I get a universal credit top up. 2 children still fairly young so still paying childcare.

I am nearly 40.

Since getting universal credit, I feel like a criminal sometimes. I’ve just had to pay £50 for a letter from the GP (which I can’t afford) to prove one of my children live with me because they were doing a compliance check. All of my children have always lived with me, and do see their Dad but I’ve always been the main carer and I have a lives with order from the court. They wouldn’t accept that as it’s over 3 years old. They wouldn’t accept child benefit letter either.

I don’t want to be getting any benefits anymore, but I can’t afford to live without them. I earn about 30k a year. I’ve tried applying for other jobs. Most with my skill set pay the same or less than what I earn now.

Any ideas. AIBU to think this is possible?

Don’t you dare feel guilty about needing benefits.

does that even cover half of your childcare expenses each month?

the problem is a system that lets men pay a pittance towards their children and leaves women to figure out how to survive.

Your scumbag deadbeat ex is the criminal. Not you.

This. It should be based on how much the child costs really and split between parents in an equitable way. My ex earns more than me by but only pays £400 a month for ds. That doesn't even cover half of the childcare bill so I can go to work never mind providing food heating clothes hobbies electric etc. I know £400 isn't to be sniffed at but it frustrates me that tax payers have to then make up the shortfall to keep us out of poverty because I'm left responsible whereas in other circumstances he'd be paying more if we were married and sharing bills equitably. Obviously I appreciate the stability of uc is the main thing and I know that will come in even if my child maintenance doesn't. There should be sanctions for parents who don't pay.

You are exactly the kind of person benefits are for. Your ex is at fault.

Yeah I felt the same, the benefits system is designed to make you feel guilty imo.

My dd is older now so I don’t claim anymore but I did for her sake while she was younger.

For those asking about the link between benefits and maintenance..it was stopped decades ago because maintenance is so unreliable and apparently unenforceable that single parents were left in dire straights when tje NRPs didn't pay it. There are probably a few people in receipt of decent maintenance who maybe dont need benefits as a result but they'll be vanishing few compared to the ones who'd be royally stuffed if the link was reinstated.
In this scenario what's worse is that the ex is paying the 'right' amount according to his reported income. He's just doing what a lot of SE NRPs do and fiddling it.

As evidence to show the children live with you, from the GPS a summary care printout - free would show dcs addresses and "mum brought to clinic for earache on date". Free but up to 21 working days to produce.

You shouldn’t feel bad - if you work in a school all of your income is coming from from the government anyway. They’ve obviously set up their budgets in a nonsensical way such that they pay you partly through salary and partly through UC. If there was any logic they would pay you a sufficient salary to live off, and you wouldn’t need to claim UC - which would be a better scenario for everyone (you’d feel better, there would be less waste of money by people having to audit your circumstances, less admin of a claim).

You shouldn’t feel bad that the government is underpaying its employees so much that they can’t afford to live off the salary, and instead need to get a top up off another government department. It really is absurd.

It’s not really the point of the thread but, I’d guess it’s because I have 2 more children than you? And 2 are in childcare? Most of the UC I get is a reimbursement towards childcare costs.

Thank you to everyone who has been kind and said I shouldn’t feel bad. I was expecting to just get the “work harder” and “if other people can do it so can you” type comments.

I know I am entitled and I know I work, I shouldn’t feel bad. But really I just wish I could earn more and not rely on benefits because it’s just not a nice way to live. I hate feeling this way.

I spoke to someone who is a friend of a friend today who works in a local authority doing community safety type work and they’ve suggested my background might be suitable for something in that area and it pays around 50k, but reading the job descriptions I feel it’s completely above me!

I am definitely going to keep applying for jobs because I realise if I don’t try I don’t get.

Yes it does seem completely nonsensical that my salary comes from the government then I need a government top up to be able to survive/work. I wouldn’t be able to work at all without it as I couldn’t afford childcare.

I respect your attitude OP. Property prices and frozen tax thresholds have gotten us to this ridiculous point where someone working full time requires a leg up from the state. Property prices is a complex subject but it seems nuts to me that you pay income tax yet receive in work state benefits.

Its easier said than done, but the only answer really is to earn more. Don't under-sale yourself and don't think jobs are above you. Get your foot in the door and fake it until you make it.

…reading the job descriptions I feel it’s completely above me!

That’s your lack of belief in yourself and your abilities again!

Can you analyse why you think like this? What needs to happen for you to gain the qualities and knowledge this job requires? Is it a matter of studying informally or gaining additional/formal qualifications - or is it possible that you just need to reframe your existing qualifications and job experience to fit with such a job?

Please try and find a way of enhancing your self esteem and talking yourself up instead of down! Could you perhaps find a mentor?

I think op you're likely selling yourself short. I have applied for lots of jobs where I've looked at parts of the description and thought oooof that would be a learning curve but in reality it's fine and if you work hard and are motivated you'll learn on the job. Most places expect to do some level of training for new staff as well. I think a bit of career guidance/ mentoring and maybe some counselling or similar to boost your confidence would serve you really well. I have worked in safeguarding related posts for a long time and honestly it's not as daunting as it sounds, the key is being passionate about it. "Would I be happy leaving my child in this situation - if not then what's missing" type of attitude. That's the only part you can't train into someone.

This!!

My rent is 1400pcm for a 3 bed mid terrace in pretty poor condition. There's literally nothing cheaper here. If I could rent a social housing property in the same area i'd be looking at 550 max. I could pay that in full without any assistance from UC. It's mad.

This is high key not your fault.

By all means, look for another job with better pay. Try to improve your circumstances. But do not feel guilty about using a system you pay into. You will pay it back tenfold over your working life.

I want to come off benefits.

My child is now 16 and is going to college, and I have worked all my life, working both full-time and part-time hours. I have been receiving UC for 7.5 years and I feel it's time to try and get off them.

I currently work 25 hours a week in a job I have had for years, so i'm stable in a job I enjoy, but they haven't got anymore hours to give me.

My shift patterns make it a bit difficult to find a suitable second job to help top up my hours. I was offered a second job recently, but because I work 1 in 4 Saturdays, they couldn't work around it, so I couldnt take it. I don't want to leave my main job I have because I feel safe and comfortable there. Its local and i know the job, but I just feel so trapped in a part time role and its making me feel quite sad and depressed. I worry i'm going to have to find a full-time job else where in the next few years, so I've been stressing myself out trying to find a second job.

My biggest struggle is that it took me years to gain my confidence back after bad relationships, bullying, and just being a single parent raising my kid and I am now confident in my abilities at work and believe in myself, but I worry I will regret leaving for another job and then it not working out and I lose everything.

I want to come off UC, so i can move forward with my life and save more money, because it would be great to be self sufficient again. Is anyone else in a similar situation?

OP, schools generally subscribe to an employee assistance service. Give them a ring and see if there's maybe some sort of counselling you can access?

You seem like a pretty together person raising three children in a difficult situation and doing a challenging job. Now you just need to believe it yourself!

I recently got an academic contract that said a PhD was essential. It wasn't. No-one even mentioned it...

But you must know how much an absent parent pays is based upon their earnings.

I couldn’t agree more. From my perspective you’re doing very well. I spent years on top up benefits due to single parenting a disabled child and always felt inferior because of it, and back then we didn’t have the media pile on directing public opinion in the way it does now.

It wasn’t really until I was finally able to start my own business and do ok with it that I realised that I’d nothing to be ashamed of and in fact the shame is the fault of successive shitty govts failure to manage the country for the benefit of normal people.
There is still a culture of exceptionalism here - as in rich people think they’re rich because they worked hard, and that then infects people like us who think we’re not earning ‘enough’ and it must be our fault. It isn’t always the case.

This. It p-s me off to an inordinate degree that my money as a taxpayer gets used here when fathers should be subsidising.
I suppose if the father doesn’t earn much it’s a problem.

Because there are so many non-paying NRPs.

it used to be that the RP could only keep £20 a week if they were on benefits. The rest was owed to the Sec of State to go toward the welfare bill.

There ended up being so much money owed to the government it was decided that something had to be done… so they decided that RP’s could keep all of the money that we know is unreliable and often not paid and it would not count as income for benefits.

Previous to that system it was counted as income. My grandparents were calculated as having the £64 a week my father was ordered to pay. He never paid a penny and CSA never got a penny out of him. It left us horrendously poor.

OP - so you gave a Saw degree. When you say you couldn’t do the work, what do you mean? Which team were you in? Was it children’s by any chance? You could go back to social work - there’s so many difffereng teams. Hospital discharge? That’s where I work and I love it (I’m discharge in adult mental health MHSOP)

Just to add that making CMS payments affecting UC would mean that financially abusive NRP could still continue to have a hold on the RP.

Shitty wages
Crazy rents
Childcare