I want to get off benefits

[peanutbutterjelly563]

But how?

I work full time. I went to university. I ended up a single parent.

I get a universal credit top up. 2 children still fairly young so still paying childcare.

I am nearly 40.

Since getting universal credit, I feel like a criminal sometimes. I’ve just had to pay £50 for a letter from the GP (which I can’t afford) to prove one of my children live with me because they were doing a compliance check. All of my children have always lived with me, and do see their Dad but I’ve always been the main carer and I have a lives with order from the court. They wouldn’t accept that as it’s over 3 years old. They wouldn’t accept child benefit letter either.

I don’t want to be getting any benefits anymore, but I can’t afford to live without them. I earn about 30k a year. I’ve tried applying for other jobs. Most with my skill set pay the same or less than what I earn now.

Any ideas. AIBU to think this is possible?

I do enjoy my job for the most part and I do think I’m quite good at it. I’ve done lots of additional training, anything I can get my hands on over the years. Any jobs I apply for that are more “senior” though, I never get. Around my way they don’t pay a whole lot more, 40k max. Not sure what else to look for. I feel like I am getting too old to retrain. It also seems beyond my reach with the kids. I’ve no ideas of what to do either which is why I came on here

I guess if there was a magic answer all us single mums would be doing it!

I completely understand that they are doing a job and they have to check for fraud etc. but it does make you feel horrible, ashamed. I’ve had to hand over my bank statements in the past too for checks. I think they can get them now without asking. I did it but I did say - you get my bank statements every month anyway when I put in my childcare costs claim?

Have you considered safeguarding job at football/sports sector which will pay more than a school.

https://www.uksport.gov.uk/global/jobs/uk-sport/2026/04/18/learning--development-projects-officer

www.uksport.gov.uk/jobs-in-sport/search-all-vacancies?q=Safeguarding%20&tags=176|164&uksp=1&ngb=1&sort=r

This safeguarding manager role is an old one from last year but it shows you the skills etc that you need to work towards a similar role. The salary range is more than £30k, you have a good skill set to apply for welfare and safeguarding roles in the sports sector.

The FA careers, look here periodically for safeguarding roles at football clubs or check your local club websites directly. Someone I know earns £60k as a safeguarding lead at a premiership club.

MYOB. You know you just want to moan about your taxes and we all know it too.

It's not your fault in anyway op. Your doing a very valuable job and should be paid more but due to wage stagnation in this country most of us are screwed. Fiscal drag is the pitts and the continued freezing of tax thresholds is absolutely horrid!!

Don't feel ashamed!!

Ah op, I could have written this word for word but only with one child. Part of me was devastated when I became a lone parent because I really wanted more kids but then there's part of me that knows it would be even harder to make ends meet with more. So I think you're doing amazing in a really tough situation.

I do feel a bit embarrassed sometimes about being a lone mum on benefits even though I also have multiple degrees, a 'good' career and work full time. The issue really is the sector we work in doesn't pay people a wage that reflects the level of specialism and training that goes into it, nor the emotional cost of the work. There's also the constant issue in the community sector of unstable funding where you never really get to feel secure. It's no reflection on you or I, in my previous role i was one step below ceo level and only earning about 5k more than you. In any other sector I'd be on so much more, especially considering the level of responsibility.

I ended up leaving a job I loved to move to another community based role which pays more but isn't fully utilising the specialist training i have and while I enjoy it, it's not my passion either. But it puts food on our table.

I met with a careers advisor after becoming a lone parent for advice. One thing that might be worth looking at for you is how your work could translate to universities. They often pay better, have decent hours and can be flexible with more stability. That was my plan before I had to move too far away from our local universities for it to be feasible. You probably have a really good cv for student support roles.

Either way, I agree sometimes the uc system feels hostile and while I totally agree the public purse needs to be protected, there's ways to go about it without making things harder for people than they need to be. Being out £50 for example when you're already on a tight budget is ridiculous and that needs to be looked at.

You trained as a social worker but couldn’t cope with the work. You work in a school and think you might like teaching but fear that you couldn’t cope. There is a pattern here - low self confidence. What are you afraid of? What needs to happen for you to recognise your potential? There are lots of books about boosting self confidence, or ‘faking it till you make it’. You are bringing up three children on your own, which is no mean feat - so why do you think you are less capable than others?

The universal credit system was designed to make people feel like garbage. And all the rhetoric about scroungers, shirkers, hard working tax payers being ripped off etc. It erodes your self esteem over time. The old system was far more conducive to building a life and a future for working people who just needed a bit of help while their kids were small, it should never have been combined with unemployment benefits. I've got to say this thread has surprised me, usually the OP would have got a lecture about how she deserves to live on gruel and how anyone can do 60 hours a week down a mine and still have time for community work if they just put their mind to it by now.

CMS isn't counted as income.

Me too, I’m working a min wage job full time, single parent to one dc, get UC top up and I’m not clever enough to retrain. Ex has lost job so no maintenance for over a year. HA rent luckily but in SE so still skint. Place is a dump, I still have no flooring and holes in every door from previous tenants but it’s “cosmetic” so I have to replace if I want a door without a hole in.
I have had enough, I’ve just started a 5 year plan and a savings account. In 5 years I plan to be living in NE and hopefully at least own a home. Min wage here is the same as min wage there and I’ll have more disposable income even if earning the same.
Of course it will be a wrench leaving family but they understand I need to do this. I want quality of life.

The safety net is there for everyone we all pay for this security including you. Your circumstances changed it happens relationships break down, people lose their job or become disabled that's life and it can happen to anyone of us at anytime. Don't feel guilty for this it won't be forever.

The government don't take CMS into account so he could pay much more and it wouldn't affect UC

How about working towards a LADO job? I know someone who moved from school safeguarding to this. Salaries are more like £45-50K+ afaik.

It’s not your job that’s the issue. You are doing fine there. It’s your ex not contributing more to the costs of raising the children. It’s disgusting that fathers still get away with paying the bare minimum. The system is broken and needs to change. You shouldn’t need to claim UC. Their dad should be paying more.

I think you need to chat to your children father and tell him he needs to give you more than £200 a month. £200 a month for 2 kids is horrible. I know he is self employed and of course he is earning nothing. Meanwhile he probably has a nice car, house and is going on holidays.
See if you can get proof of this before talking to him. See what he puts up on social media or if he has a girlfriend see what she put up on social media also. Screen shots are your friend here. Then report him to the tax man saying how can he afford this when he just pays £200 CMS.

Tell him that £200 pm is to little for his 2 kids and it would be a pity if the tax man was made aware of the new car and holidays ect. A good tax audit and big tax bill with interest due won't suit him.

If he has a girlfriend turn up when he is with her and tell him in front of her that £200 a month is not enough to pay for his 2 kid's. I ring his parents and tell them how little he is giving you as well.
Why not go to his business premises and have a good fight in front of the staff about his lack of cash for his kids.

Tell the kids can't afford things and get them to keep ringing him looking for money. Better still ring his business premises looking for him and money. Tell who ever answers the phone there who you are why you ringing.
It about time this deadbeat dad was embarrassed.

You out there working and claiming benefits. You doing the best you can but if he paid more which he should be doing it would make things a bit easier. Also I would try to speak to a careers coach and see if you could avail of any training or what other jobs you could go for in order to earn more.

Sorry my OP wasn’t clear- I have 3 children but only 2 I pay childcare costs for.

My ex has had a girlfriend since we split up, I don’t have much to do with her but she seems nice and my kids like her. She doesn’t live with him as she has two kids herself.

And yes tale as old as time, my ex does have a nice lifestyle despite paying £200pm. His house he paid over 800k (we are up north) for, he has 3 nice cars, I don’t know him to go on many holidays he’s quite into van life stuff and goes travelling about Europe in his van here and there.

I just know he won’t pay any more than CMS says and we are civil at the moment so I don’t want to rock the boat after an awful divorce.

LADO does interest me but I don’t feel intelligent enough to get a job like that.

I do have lack of confidence for sure. I was brought up being humiliated and degraded by my parents, my ex husband was also nasty towards me at times.

You're working full time so don't feel guilty, your not playing the system on 16 hours.

If you have a social work degree, you could look into CAMHS. They are often looking for qualified social workers and it pays a little bit more. Plus there is opportunity for progression eventually

If you have a social work degree, you could look into CAMHS. They are often looking for qualified social workers and it pays a little bit more. Plus there is opportunity for progression eventually

I agree with this, many safeguarding roles pay a lot more. I’ve seen one today advertised in the North East for over 50K. MATs and other organisations advertise these roles and are a route to earning more in the same field.

You are almost me. I'm single parent to 4. I did a safeguarding role in a school after taking a break from social work. It was shitty money and I couldn't make the numbers work at all with UC top up and child maintenance. I have a mortgage as well.
So I went back to social work was selective about what team I went into. A big part of how you can cope with social work is management. If I were you I'd try a new team. It's working well for me and lifted my salary by fifty per cent
School work was also quite boring for me. I'm glad I left and went back to using my training

PPs saying the OP could/should get a better paid job are missing the point.

The point is that the OP is working full time yet is dependent on benefits in order to survive. If she wasn't doing that job, then someone would be, and that person would most likely be in the same position.

The economy in this country is completely broken, and I agree with the PP who raised the issue about where housing benefit ends up i.e. in the pockets of landlords.

You earn more than me. I have a child and get no child maintenance. Don't understand how you are entitled to UC when I wasnt

Slightly off topic but an excellent read about who really benefits from the benefits system. Spoiler - not the people receiving benefits.

Government subsidising private landlords £70bn over next five years | New Economics Foundation https://share.google/HyaPYxZ0FTxY3l6np

It might be to do with the age of your child? Have you used the entitled to calculator or contacted a citizens advice service to check you're claiming everything you're entitled to? Might be worth checking!