Vet advice… AIBU about costs.

[MyFairLady22]

My Dog is 11yrs old. She’s a large breed and is therefore a good age. She’s been loved and cared for to within an inch of her life for every moment of those 11 years! She’s on YouMove Max, salmon oil capsules, and prescription anti inflammatory medication from our vet.

In the past few months, she’s been back and forth to the vet with trembling… shaking…wobbling and difficulty getting in the car/on the bed/sofa. I lift her! It’s worsened in the past few weeks. Suddenly, she jerks/mouth snaps/falls. She eats well. Swims. Plays. Gets groomed twice a day (she’s very woolly ☺️).

Now, the vet thinks she’s having myoclonic seizures. A form of late onset epilepsy/fitting but NOT losing consciousness. It is caused by tumours to which the breed is susceptible. I’ve put mats all over the house to prevent slipping; bought two ramps she will not use! Support her on off my bed at night (I’m divorced - she took over the vacant side of the bed pretty quickly!).

This morning, went to the vets for her blood test for the medicine she’s on. The vet last week tested her liver/kidney function and fasted blood sugar which all came back “like a five year old dog’s”She’s pretty healthy but for this degenerative disease process starting recently.

Today, it has been suggested to do a referral to a neurologist. Months ago, my own lovely vet, who knows I’m paying my own bill said “It depends how far you want to go and in reality, WHAT YOU DO with the results; she’s an old girl (for the breed); were she a puppy or aged 5, then that’d be very different”. This helped me enormously. The vet understood that I just don’t have endless funds available and we agreed that scans etc were NOT the way to go.

So, AIBU to feel frantic that now, the vet is suggesting initial diagnostic tests totalling £3,500 as a starting point? It’s like we never had the conversation about costs. My sister has offered to loan me the money but this payment is just the first consultation and scan.

Help please. Am I giving up on man’s best friend? AIBU to think the vet has done a total u-turn on appropriate treatment options?

We spent a decent chunk (partially insured) on our 14yo cat who very much wanted to live (she was such a lively, vibrant girl), but to be honest, the best money we spent in the last month of her life was on endless, fresh-cooked chicken.

Our boy is 17 soon, and we're treating his symptoms with expensive diet food, supplements, and love (he's regained the weight he was losing). I absolutely don't want to go through what we went through with his sister.

One of the things my Dad, as a vet, used to say is that most owners left it 3 to 6 months too long to make an inevitable decision about end of life for pets. They try and prolong life to put off their loss. Always from a position of love and the best intentions, but always just a bit too long.
We had a lovely family dog who got cancer PTS very peacefully at home in his own basket surrounded by familiar smells and sounds. It cost a bit more because it was a home visit, but it avoided the trip to the surgery and the antiseptic smells and unfamiliar noises. Or the trip home for us afterwards.
I would do that again in the same situation, if the option was available.

This will be my preference, when the time comes. This is her home. She came to join our family at 8 weeks old. I’ve no intention of causing her distress. She will go loved, safely, in my arms. It is the least I can do when she has loved us so well.

Quick update for all you kind people! My girl has started on her new anti seizure medication. I was informed she’d possibly be quite drowsy so, she’s started on a low dose. My own lovely vet who I do trust is liaising with the neurologist vet so, she’s getting top notch care!

And she is at present, snoring her head off beside me, on the bed. No sleep for me then! ❤️

So tonight, my girlfriend couldn’t make it up p the stairs to bed. I put her special lifting harness on and “Hansel & Gretle’d” the stairs with gouda but, each time I tried to lift her, she just flopped as a dead weight. She’s making such a palaver of it that I brought my quilt/pillow downstairs. She’s all snug and set now and I’m on a lumpy sofa!!

My girlfriend?!!!! No… my old girl, aka, the dog!

I hope you both had a good night sleep OP. One thing I remember from on of my mum’s really old and very big dog was that, at one point he couldn’t really move and the vet advised to help move him a bit every now and then on the bed when he was resting because he would become uncomfortable after lying down in exactly the same spot for hours. So this is something you could keep an eye on for your girl.
It’s not easy.

Last week, I looked at her and thought “It’s time now”. This week, she swam in the lake and snaffled sausages in a pub garden 😂 IT’S SO HARD… knowing when!

I have read this thread and the replies again, in preparation. I was a nurse. Often “there” at the end of the end. As with patients, I will hold her gently and tell her it’s Ok, she can let go, I won’t leave her, she’s absolutely loved, as she has been from that first time I held her, at 5 weeks. What an enormous gift she has been; a comfort and literal joy ❤️❤️❤️

But right at this moment, that comfort and joy is snoring her head off, next to my bed(she made it upstairs last night!), like something out of The Princess and the Pea. She has so many soft blankets piled on her memory foam bed that I am honestly contemplating getting in with her!! ☺️

Lucky her, to be so loved. Lucky me ❤️

It really is hard when things can be so up and down, but treat every day as a bonus, and you’ll know when the balance has tipped.❤️

I adore my dog too. He is 9 and has glaucoma and has done amazingly well to still have both eyes 3yrs on from diagnosis and I wouldn’t be doing any expensive tests like that at 11. I’d be thinking about quality of life now, and assessing that on a daily basis. So hard.

For some reason I expected this to be about a rottie! I am an avid golden fan. I tend to own a pair and am on my second and third atm.

You will know when it’s time. With my first, I knew if he went off his food that would be it. And one day he was a bit sicky, and the next day the same again, so I took him to the vets. I had a horrible sinking feeling about it and took him for a nice walk first. He was a bit anaemic and they said probably worth sedation and an ultrasound which was only a few under quid. We talked about if it was a tumour and whether it might be cancerous and I said virtually immediately no surgery given his age. They did find a tumour off some sort on his pancreas, and I let him go whilst he was under sedation. It is not how I ever would have planned it, but he was a good boy at the vets and had cheerily trotted off with them after I said ‘see you in a bit, mate’. It was the kind of tumour that could rupture with no warning and it would have been a horrible way to go. It would have been for me that I wanted to say goodbye, not for him.

I had him since I was 16 and he was my very best friend. Saw me through an awful court case, many miscarriages, heartbreak and my brother dying, as well being there for the good bits like when I qualified, got married and had my only child.

Goldens are so special. I can tell from what you write that you have a strong bond. I found it helpful to set parameters of when I would know in case emotions got in the way, but I really do think that you will know.

I had a very similar issue last year with our beloved cat Polly. I knew there was something wrong with her, although day to day, she was a happy, contented and loving cat. After blood tests (£430) it turned out she was VERY hyperthyroid. The medication (£48 for about 10 days) made her ill. We made the decision to stop the treatment and I rang the vet and just told him. We ensured that Poll had a happy few months and when she had her first bad day, we arranged for another vet to come out to the house to put her to sleep. £340 but worth it. Make your dog's life as good as you can, and as soon as you think she's not enjoying life, spend the money on a dignified, managed end to a happy life. At least we can do that for animals.

She is a beautiful girl and you are both so lucky to have eachother

Gorgeous girl!!! You are absolutely doing the best for her right now and all the emotions and caring and love you are pouring into this stage of your time together. She will let you know when it’s been too much for her. And you will recognise the changes. Take it day by day and make the most of every minute with her.

I think it’s time to gently let her go. She’s had a lovely life, but she’s deteriorating now, and possibly feeling miserable with life.

Sometimes, we have to know when to let them go. 🌺