Stepson sleepover, upset neighbours

[Heebeebee]

Last night my DSS had a sleepover for his 13th birthday. There were a group of boys staying over and, unbeknownst to me, they were in and out of the house most of the night playing football on the green outside.

I was asleep on the third floor and had no idea this was going on. My DH was downstairs in the lounge, knew about it, and just let them carry on.

This morning there’s a post on the estate Facebook page saying a group of kids were making noise late into the night and disturbing people.

I’ve gone mad at my husband for not telling them to come in and settle down, but my mum says I’m just as much to blame because I’m also the responsible adult and should “know what DH is like” when it comes to discipline, ie he cannot do it.

I think that’s bullshit.. I was asleep and he was the one who knew what was happening. He's his dad fgs. So as not to drip feed I also have a SD who is now almost 18 and he hasn't seen her for 7 years, entirely her choice after her mum turned her against him. His sons, DSS16 and DSS13 still come here a lot but DH doesn't say boo to a goose when they are here cos he's worried they'll just go back to their mums if he does. He wasn't like this before what happened with SD.

AIBU to think this is on him? Also I've apologised to the neighbours concerned and that's fine now I'm just annoyed at being told I'm to blame for not being downstairs too and telling them off in DH place.

Not your fault but also I bet his ex didn’t turn the daughter against him. Shit dads love blaming mothers for this

Your mum is a sexist twat.

"my mum says I’m just as much to blame because I’m also the responsible adult and should “know what DH is like” when it comes to discipline, ie he cannot do it."

Of course you should have realised it was your duty to stay up late to supervise and monitor your entirely incapable DH and your DSS and to predict that they would run outside in the night and disturb your neighbours... and to predict that if they did, your DH would have no problem with this at all and would not stir himself to go outside and tell them to pipe down, or order them back in.

How could you not?

Is your DM always this unsupportive and critical of you? I would stop listening to remarks like that and I'd give your DH a large piece of my mind for being so pathetic and lazy.

Also. You slept through the "riot" and so its highly likely that it wasn't as bad as the neighbours suggest - it was a one off and you've apologised. I'd now make the DSS fully aware and that it cannot happen again and then move on from the neighbours complaint.

Your Dhs isnt disaplining his children at all. Who lets 13 year old boys run around late at night disturbing the neighbours. His parenting doesnt aline with your values. If my DS had been at the sleepover and I found out I would be furious.

If the stepdad was upstairs asleep and the mother was downstairs ignoring her son and his mates outside playing football there wouldn’t be ONE person blaming the stepdad! I can only assume the silly posters blaming the op are men.