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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand why people recommend Pregnant Then Screwed?

136 replies

firsttimepregnanthelp · 27/03/2026 12:56

I believe I am experiencing unfair treatment at work due to pregnancy related sickness so called PTS as people are always recommending it but they were useless?! A very short phone call with generic, vague advice. Is it just me? Same with ACAS - all very vague. There seems to be no support.

OP posts:
ladyamy · 28/03/2026 04:47

Wheelchairbarbie · 27/03/2026 13:01

I've never heard of them - I thought this was going to be about some awful reality series or something. Can't say I'm loving the name for a professional organisation.

I know if doesn't help you now but I agree - join a union. I'm a disabled woman and the daughter of a miner from Durham. I wouldn't work without being a union member. Mine costs about £6pm I think and comes straight from my paycheck so I don't even think about it.

I agree; horrible name.

Soontobe60 · 28/03/2026 05:05

What I’ve come to realise over the years is that when it comes to employment law, if the employee cannot get the outcome they want then they will blame their Union / advisory service / HR or lawyers.
In reality, what the employee wants is often not possible or even lawful. For example, someone returning from maternity leave wants to come back in reduced days but their employer does not agree to this. They seek help from their Union, but still don’t get the outcome they want. The employee thinks everyone is wrong not letting her drop her days so blames them but in reality the employer cannot be forced to change their days if it does not meet the needs of the business.
Don’t get me wrong - there ARE shit Union reps / advisory services / HR out there, but most do their jobs as well as they can. I’ve needed Union support twice in my career; both times they were amazing and were able to take my employer to task but that was because what my employer was trying to do actually went against employment law.

NoWordForFluffy · 28/03/2026 06:59

PollyBell · 28/03/2026 04:37

My employer wont pay me to stay home for 9 months and do nothing
Call pregnancy and screwed

I demand a 300% payrise
Call pregnancy and screwed

Any demand that is suggestion

Edited

Bit hyperbolic there.

EBearhug · 28/03/2026 07:12

Most private sector companies are not unionised. They are largely irrelevant outside of the public sector yet it is a fairly common response on here.

Your workplace does not need to be unionised for you to be in a union. They only have to recognise a union if at least 30% of the workforce are members. If it's not recognised, the union won't be involved in pay negotiations (though mine can certainly advise on individual pay discussions,) nor can they call for strike action - but they can advise on employment law, and if you're involved in a disciplinary, can attend as a rep. Mine was very helpful when I was made redundant, and I was very glad of them when I was wrongly accused and had to go through a disciplinary.

They really aren't irrelevant. It's like insurance- I don't want to be in the position of ever needing to make a claim, but I've been very glad of them when I have needed to.

NoWordForFluffy · 28/03/2026 07:18

^What @EBearhugsaid!

PollyBell · 28/03/2026 07:21

NoWordForFluffy · 28/03/2026 06:59

Bit hyperbolic there.

Call it mn experience

DallasMajor · 28/03/2026 07:21

SaffronsMadAboutMe · 27/03/2026 12:58

Another reason why everyone should pay the few quid it costs per month to join a Union.

But it isn't a few quid, it's nearly £20 a month and for the already most vulnerable that is expensive.

NoWordForFluffy · 28/03/2026 07:27

PollyBell · 28/03/2026 07:21

Call it mn experience

Nope. Still hyperbolic

EBearhug · 28/03/2026 07:57

DallasMajor · 28/03/2026 07:21

But it isn't a few quid, it's nearly £20 a month and for the already most vulnerable that is expensive.

Depends on the union and IME, your salary - my fees depends on what you earn. It was very low (maybe £1 a month? Can't remember,) when I was out of work.

NoWordForFluffy · 28/03/2026 08:23

DallasMajor · 28/03/2026 07:21

But it isn't a few quid, it's nearly £20 a month and for the already most vulnerable that is expensive.

I pay £9 per month for my union membership.

DallasMajor · 28/03/2026 08:37

NoWordForFluffy · 28/03/2026 08:23

I pay £9 per month for my union membership.

For under 21 hours a week? I have had a Google and minimum wage membership appears to be £18+

I know that this isn't affordable for everyone any more. Plus they are always overstretched so when needed they aren't the panacea that is touted on MN.

NoWordForFluffy · 28/03/2026 08:39

DallasMajor · 28/03/2026 08:37

For under 21 hours a week? I have had a Google and minimum wage membership appears to be £18+

I know that this isn't affordable for everyone any more. Plus they are always overstretched so when needed they aren't the panacea that is touted on MN.

No. For 25+ hours:

https://workaffinity.co.uk/join-1/

ETA: I've had brilliant, prompt and thorough service from them.

Join | Affinity

https://workaffinity.co.uk/join-1/

ChavsAreReal · 28/03/2026 09:15

Useless?

Could this mean they didn't say what you wanted them to say?

oviraptor21 · 28/03/2026 09:25

WhereAreWeNow · 27/03/2026 13:24

I had similar experience. Totally opposite experience with Maternity Action. Brilliant legal advice.

Yes - I was coming on to suggest Maternity Action

aCatCalledFawkes · 28/03/2026 09:54

Pregnant and screwed are a charity/campaign group highlighting inequality for working mothers, I can't see anything wrong with that.

I'm currently in a restructure at work, lots of people are being made redundant. It's scary how many people are now claiming to be experts in employment law because they either googled or misread the acas website.

Everybody's situation is different and whilst you might think they were unhelpful, they would be even more unhelpful if they guaranteed you something that wasn't true.They are just signposting you to information.

Also as for unions, lots of work places don't have them as they not unionised. The one place I did work at that had one absolutely dragged out a restructure for 8mnths. Yes we got more pay but the uncertainty went on forever and trying to search whilst working with moving leave dates was pretty shite to be fair.

EBearhug · 28/03/2026 10:03

Prospect's fees scales (I think they've gone up a little since 2 years ago, bit so has my salary.) I would assume, without googling, that other unions do similar scales.
(From £1.38 to £19.63 a month, if the image doesn't add.)

Needlenardlenoo · 28/03/2026 10:24

HoskinsChoice · 28/03/2026 00:17

This response always confuses me. Why is this such a common response when 80% of the population are not in a union. Most private sector companies are not unionised. They are largely irrelevant outside of the public sector yet it is a fairly common response on here. Makes me wonder if mumsnet weirdly attracts public sector workers rather than private sector?

It'll be because women are more likely to be in a union (particularly degree educated women) and because women are also more likely to work in the public sector. So the demographics align.

It's 1 in 4 of the working population in a union, not 1 in 5, but obviously highly varying by industry. About 50% in teaching; much lower in e.g. financial services.

Pearlstillsinging · 28/03/2026 10:30

LondonPapa · 27/03/2026 13:02

They advised you seek legal advice because your situation was beyond them. I wouldn’t call that good.

It's realistic, they offer free advice, not legal representation. A union would offer legal representation if they thought that you had a good chance of winning a case and will always negotiate with the employer on your behalf.
If you don't like the advice and you're not a union member, you can always pay an employment lawyer for their advice

OhDear111 · 28/03/2026 10:37

Essentially lawyers give you legal advice and whether you have a case! You have to pay. Others won’t advise you directly.

FKAT · 28/03/2026 10:40

In your situation I would start with your organisation's maternity and pregnancy policy and try to resolve the issue internally first.

My union (Bectu / Prospect) was £50 a month pre-lockdown. I left. Better putting that in a savings account for future legal fees. As other PPs have pointed out many unions are structurally sexist, have failed gender critical women or anyone who disagrees with key left wing Shibboleths (see Paul Embery and the Fire Brigades Union) or seem more interested in passing motions about Palestine than actually negotiating on behalf of their members.

If your workplace doesn't recognise unions for the purpose of collective bargaining (and many private sector orgs don't) completely pointless IMO. They'll just give you the same information ACAS, Citizens advice and google will supply for free.

Agree with a PP. Many employees seem to have very little understanding of employment law and get angry if they can't negotiate everything on their own terms. Some jobs at my work for example are not suitable for flexible working or anyone with mobility issues (night shifts, heavy lifting). This does not mean maternity or disability discrimination is at play.

Some people think of Union membership as a get out of jail free card against termination or accountability - it isn't.

Pregnant then Screwed is a lobbying organisation that seems mainly to have been a platform for the career of its founder. That said, I hear they have done some good things. Their branding is awful and I doubt would go across well in a professional negotiation.

NoWordForFluffy · 28/03/2026 10:45

If your workplace doesn't recognise unions for the purpose of collective bargaining (and many private sector orgs don't) completely pointless IMO. They'll just give you the same information ACAS, Citizens advice and google will supply for free.

This is not right. They will also pay for legal advice / solicitors all the way to Tribunal if needed. Plus they can come with you to meetings with your employer which ACAS etc can't do.

I don't need collective bargaining, I'm quite capable of negotiating my own pay.

Wheelchairbarbie · 28/03/2026 12:52

DallasMajor · 28/03/2026 07:21

But it isn't a few quid, it's nearly £20 a month and for the already most vulnerable that is expensive.

It depends on your earnings. The lower you earn, the less you pay. I've just had a look at my payslip and mine is £7.85 so lucky you! 🤣

Spirallingdownwards · 28/03/2026 19:32

EBearhug · 27/03/2026 19:49

Their advice should still reflect what is or isn't allowed within employment law, else they're likely to get the employer into more trouble rather than less.

My union has been excellent when I've had to contact them, but this is probably partly because it's not a recognised union in my workplace, so the reps sre directly from the union headoffice where they are employed as reps, rather than it being a volunteer position in addition to their actual job.

Whilst they should be up to date with employment law often they aren't! In cases of employer v employee they should make no comment whatsoever regarding the law.

Bluedenimdoglover · 29/03/2026 12:33

Meadowfinch · 27/03/2026 13:04

No, they confirmed my view that the action my employer had tried to take was illegal. It gave me the confidence to appoint a lawyer.

If the OP thinks ACAS was also vague and unhelpful, that implies that perhaps her expectations were a little off.

If you were in a union, all that would be done for you. Always join a union.

KvotheTheBloodless · 29/03/2026 12:45

My union were really helpful recently when I had a bullying and harassment grievance laid against me by a member of staff I'm performance managing. It's so frightening, even when you know it's baseless, and having someone calm and knowledgeable in my corner was a godsend.

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