AIBU that reducing under 5s screen time is way more complicated than just issuing guidelines?

[Lovelygreenpen]

This guidance is welcome. We need to know facts and risks to make informed choices. But choices often aren’t made entirely freely. Think about healthy eating and exercise guidance and how complicated these can be to follow due to costs and time.

How would following this under 1 hour rule change your daily routine?
Most parents need to work all the hours with COLC and decades of rising housing costs. working life also often expands to expect parents to be in contact from home outside of paid work hours.
How are busy parents supposed to manage? How are solo working parents specifically supposed to manage? Any family with more than one child?
And what about the screens used in childcare settings?
What are the responsibilities of the makers of the crazy overstimulating content for babies and kids?

We know women often have to do more domestic labour than men, even where they live with a male partner. Also, that the makers of the content aimed at kids specifically employ addictive techniques.

So how is this pressured wider environment going to change to make this recommendation more realistic?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c1d936n7445o

I think it’s insane that people are giving their under-fives their own tablets. It’s quite sad really.

My kids are teenagers so screens were very much around when they were little. My husband and I both work.

And yet a 20min episode of ‘in the night garden’ on tv before bed (they’d then have a bedtime story book) and a bit of Peppa Pig on tv when they woke up on weekend mornings was all they got really.

It’s possible if you don’t take the easy option, if you prioritise your children and their optimum development, even in a modern world where screens exist and both parents work.

This. Just switch of the television and make sure there is a play and explore area in your house with their favourite stuff. They soon start to play and do
imaginative things or start to go through their books. Let them
be bored a bit.

Tbh I think there is also a massive distinction between TV and modern 'screens' like phones and tablets. Personally, I think most of the current discourse around screentime mainly refers to those things, which are far more damaging than children's TV, and including TV muddies the waters.

Programming like Cbeebies and Milkshake etc is curated with the involvement of child development professionals and also still requires concentration and boredom, and also can be used as a basis for discussion and interaction with other people present. This is not usually the case when children are absorbed in a tablet/phone, flicking through various 'shorts' or playing highly addictive games and not interacting at all.

It’s the iPads and iPhones.

There isn't really an easy option in parenting though is here? Just different way of trying to get through it and do your best in your particular circumstances. I know people love to feel like they're superior and doing everything the hard and therefore best way, but there's no easy option.

I agree, just a lot of comments here are referencing TV and Cbeebies etc.

I think there is a world of difference between giving a small child a phone/tablet and putting Cbeebies on.

My DGM work p/t

Lost the full time bit - one worked p/t then full time one went back full time - as had family support to do so.

That's happens now many of the mothers who worked full time in area I was in managed to do so with family help. Other areas and in uni friends it was more usual for kids to be in paid childcare.

I did encounter hostile people to small kids - and I think in part that was because they expected poor behavior from children and were pre complaining - a few apologised and praised how they were later.

One train jorney our reseverd seats were in quiet carriage and my kids were being very quiet but did whipser to me a few times older couple behind kicked off every time till another passenger had a word. It's sadly like trantrums in public - it happens and you have to deal with it best you can.

and you would be wrong.

www.historytoday.com/archive/goethe-reading-fever-and-moral-panic

Whilst I applaud talking to your daughter rather than sticking her in front of a screen, were you allowing her to talk at top volume?

I commute and regularly see parents with children on the train, sometimes the kids are talking SO LOUDLY with no effort from the parents to remind them to speak a bit more quietly because there are lots of people around (something I used to say to my kids when they were little - it’s important to teach them that). I wouldn’t have a go at them but I do find it inconsiderate.

There seems to be current thinking that parents today are the only ones to ever had both parents working, the only ones who’ve had to work full time and long hours. Parents have been doing these things for many years. Life has always been expensive for some people. Some parents have always lived with no gardens and not near parks. No one needs the tv on in the morning. My children didn’t and my grandchildren don’t. @Lovelygreenpenif you think it’s impossible for parents to manage now without any or very little screen time, how do you explain that it was possible in the past, and how do some parents manage it now?

But it is clearly an easy option to give a child a phone/tablet and headphones in a restaurant, for instance, rather than having to constantly engage with them, answer their million questions, help them do colouring/join the dots, listen to them moaning when they are getting bored waiting, making you take them to the toilet just so they can get up from the table...

The majority of young children will become completely absorbed in a tablet if given the chance.

I'm not really sure how you could argue that's not easier?

I honestly don't see why this is difficult. I have 3 children 7 and 3 (twins) and they all have max 45 mins of tv (which I sit with them to watch and supervise) after tea during the week. The twins do not have use of a tablet (apart from long travel). My 7 year has slightly more screen time in order to do her maths homework on the tablet.

We regularly go to cafes and places and I take coloring/activity books to do. Never given a screen in a cafe or for a mealtimes - it's not needed. We go to a cafe to interact as a family not with a screen.

We do lax the screen for travel on holidays- so drives over 2 hours and aeroplane (which is a few times a year)

I also occasionally need to work whilst they are with me and will let them play in the garden or play with some toys that I set up for them to get my work done. If working on a video call for a couple of hours I may put the tv on for the last 30 mins or so as a last resort. But then I reduce the tv time after tea to accommodate this.

We don't 100% stick to 1 hour per day but on average the 3 years olds have less than 1 hour of screen time per day.

I’d say sticking your kids on a tablet is definitely the easy option (in the short term at least).

It’s madness. Mt husband I have worked in full time demanding jobs, hospital consultant etc. No Nannies or family help. We took out colouring books, stickers etc. On long journeys we did eye spy etc. This stuff does not come naturally to me and I found a lot of it as boring as hell. But no screens.

Screens would have made life easier. But we put the work in.

Is ‘self-regulation’ with a screen really self-regulation?

What I don’t understand is that if the jury is still out on early cognitive development and screen exposure for young kids and beyond, why the hell would you take the risk?? It makes me quite angry.

Tbh, am amazed this even needs saying.

I have a bag in the car which has some toys, a magnet/ sticker book, a colouring book and a couple reading books in. That’s what my kids use when at a restaurant or somewhere else other parents tend to give a phone as a distraction. Only ever had positive feedback (if any) from other people when the kids play with this stuff.

In the early 2000s, most mums were not at home. Many were working.

Apparently, Generation Zed is the only generation that is not smarter than the preceding generation (Millennials). Growing up with screens is causing real damage.

I saw research on that - it seemed to be related to uptake of tech in schools - least that was links I was seeing rather than screen more generally.

Though I have seen news articles suggesting kids not being read to is related to screen usage in early years - but not seen research on that.

I have to say educational tech I've seen is a very mixed bag - maths site we used was very like DH and I were taught maths explination worked example 20 questions - also saw gamifcation of algerbra that worked well got rid of scary letters and numbers and brought them back as underlying theories became obvious - a lot of other stuff seemed much less useful than older methods.

I felt sorry for the couple with the screaming child in a not very busy supermarket the other day , but there were two of them with him and one could have taken him outside to calm him down a bit. Harder on your own of course. I have been there myself , DS 2 was awful in some places , but you have to try and come up with some solutions if you can. You could hear him all the way around the store .
I suppose if you give an older child a screen of some kind for a short time to stop a lot of bad behavior in a shop , it isn’t right , but it’s hard hearing people tutting or moaning if your child is unhappy or screaming and no other way of dealing with it short term without a distraction. We are not very tolerant of children in the UK, no wonder people resort to anything to try and keep them quiet or your judged even more :(

What happened to toys, reading, physical activity?

I also think YABU saying kids can get more than 1 hour of screen time at breakfast and getting dressed. No one needs a screen whilst doing these activities. Parents who do this end up complaining that their child struggles to focus and get them tested for ADHD...

It won't be long before the government makes it clear - like it did with alcohol - that there is no safe limit.

I think most people can see that - which is why in some ways this is a missed opportunity to make that clear.

Screens aren't the only thing that keep children entertained, unless they have been taught that entertainment = screens. Children managed to entertain themselves for decent periods of time with toys and books before screens existed, regardless of whether their parents were busy or overworked.

Interactive screens are super-engaging and addictive, so once they've been introduced as an option, it's not surprising if that's all they want (especially when they can be taken anywhere). Watching tv is a bit different imo, but still should be heavily restricted for very young kids.

My kids are much older but they love watching TV and YouTube given half the chance. When we insist they turn it off they're so creative with how they spend their time! Making music, drawing, taking photos, coming up with their own games. It's lovely to see. Given the choice of screen vs other thing however, they would mostly choose screens. That's the problem.

I am in my fifties and both my parents worked full time in the seventies and eighties. It’s not new at all.