Is it weird to say you are taking your spouse out to dinner?

[FeelinLost]

Weird one but my male friend said the other day that he is taking his wife out for dinner. I know households can be different but when you're a shared household, joint bank account etc, are you really taking the other one out? Or are you taking them out because you have booked it/organised it rather than paying?

Am I being unreasonable to ask if its weird he said he is taking his wife out? 😂

I think it’s quite sweet, like they’ve organised a date!

Not every married couple shares all their money!

Nope, not weird. Not to me anyway. I'd assume it means he's organised it all

Maybe they have separate accounts?
maybe they have a joint bills account and individual personal spends accounts.

If you don’t have shared finances and you’re paying, then yes you’re taking them out

It could be that deep down I am jealous my husband doesn't "take me out" 😂 we do go out for dinner though.

Maybe they have separate finances?

We have joint finances but I consider myself to have been taken out when DH organises it all.

I think if you share finances you are 'going out to dinner with wife'. & if not shared finances you can 'take wife out for dinner'

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I would assume “taking her out” implies it is for for a special occasion for her, such as to celebrate her birthday or a promotion. Otherwise he is “taking her out” to her preferred restaurant, rather than to his. In short, the “taking her out” implies that is an event for her, rather than related to who is paying or who has organised it.

When we shared finances we'd still take each other out depending on who organised.

It’s just a way of speaking, can’t get worked up either way

He is taking her out' becos hes the one thought about it, organised it / booked it. Its just a term of speech.. my son says hes taking his friend out' to eat somewhere as hes the one who's idea it was and hes driving them.

Not weird. We share money but if one of us books and organises it we’ll say we’re taking the other out and will drive so they can have a few drinks.

I don't think it's weird but yeah, me and DH just say "shall we go out to dinner for your birthday" or "shall we go for lunch on Saturday".

It's a very common saying, have you not heard it before?

It doesn't necessarily mean they have separate finances and he's paying. He simply means he's suggested or arranged to go out for a meal, rather than staying home.

I think that some people need persuading to treat themselves and it's a sweet thing to do.

Just a phrase imo no hidden meaning but the sentiment is nice.

You're overthinking this.

It's not a remotely weird thing to say; it's just a common figure of speech. If he was the one that planned the evening and booked the restaurant, he's taking her out. It's fine.

Also, plenty of people don't have entirely shared finances. DP and I don't have any joint bank accounts.

Agree. It’s a very normal thing to say imo. Definitely not starting a thread worthy

Me and my husband share finances and if we go for dinner we mostly pay from the joint. However on payday we both take an set equal amount out of the joint as our own personal spending money to do what we want. My husband often treats me out of his portion.

So you have no idea how they run finances.

I think you’re being a bit pedantic,

It’s just a figure of speech really. He’s probably organised it or used his own spends to pay.

I wouldn’t necessarily take it in the literal sense.

Our meals out don't come out of our joint account which is for bills and general expenditure (so food shopping but not eating out). So either one person would be treating the other or we'd split the bill.

We have a shared account but also separate accounts. We both put money into a shared account each month that covers mortgage, bills and things like the food shop and shared social stuff like meals out or coffees. We pay for our separate social stuff and personal spending (like clothes or hobbies) from our own accounts.

And sometimes we use our own personal accounts to treat each other for birthday presents, and other date nights. My husband paid for a meal out last weekend, he booked it and organised it. I’ve suggested somewhere this weekend and I’ll pay for it. So yes we ‘take each other out’. I like it, it’s a nice treat and feels like a date night.

We pool money but I still might say I was taking him out if I'd booked and organised

Mumsnet has taught me that not all married couples share finances.

Many of them have a 'household' account that they both contribute to, but after that their money's their own.