In this situation would you offer to switch seats on a flight?

[Flightquandry]

Me and my husband took a flight today that was 10 hours long.

The cabin formation was
2 seats together / aisle / 3 seats together / aisle / 2 seats together.

Unfortunately, by the time we booked we couldn’t sit together. My DH was in a set of 2 seats with another woman and I was on the end of a row of three.

As soon as we took our seats the woman next to my DH went into full on chatty mode. When they were talking he mentioned he was travelling with his wife and she questioned why we weren’t seated together. He explained that we’d only been able to book what was available. She shrugged this off and then chatted to him incessantly for about 2 hours. I was seated across and behind so could see this and it stung (my problem entirely!)

I fully appreciate that she was in the seat that she booked! But in all honesty in her shoes I would have offered to swap seats with me. All seats were of the same value monetary wise. She even waved at me and then poured herself more drinks and chatted to my husband.

what would you do in her shoes? I would have offered to swap? Weirdly as well as we left the plane she followed by husband off and didn’t let me get in behind him to exit.

Why did she have to swap, not DH with someone next to you?

What fresh madness is this today 🙄.
Of course YABU! Unless you think she can talk her way into his heart just like that.
Not a great look for your marriage that you're so insecure ☹️.

The OP blatantly wanted this because the woman’s seat was a better seat than hers - no one wants to sit on the middle section bit - where as a pair of two seats with a window are sought after.

This being the reason why the OP and her husband didn’t ask if the husband could swap with the person next to her - it’s a less desirable seat. And why that question hasn’t been answered!

No way I would swap a window seat for an isle seat. Don't care who's husband I'm sat next to. 😂😂😂

I don't get this moving seats millarkey at all. You are allocated a seat, you sit in it, you get off, you carry on with your life.
I don't see why there should be any expectation that you should be able to start asking people to change seats just to suit you. You are offered a seat, you either take it or refuse it. Why should other people be made to feel awkward for choosing to sit where they were allocated or in a seat they choose because they booked earlier than you.
Don't the airlines have to know who is in what seat in case of an accident? Or have I just made that up LOL.

i think it depends if she had chosen her specific seat on booking for a reason.
If eg: she had chosen a window seat or an extra legroom seat or an aisle seat for a personal reason and your seat wasnt one of those types of seat i could understand why she didnt offer to change seats or refused if you asked her to change seats.

I'd swap if there was a couple seated either side of me and talking across me, as that would do my head in, and aisle or window are better than middle. But I'm not sure I would swap in the situation outlined, already settled in my window seat.

Maybe she wasn't thinking of him as "another woman's husband" but "a person on a plane". Not everyone will centre you in their experience of life.

I think she was being unreasonable chatting to anyone for 10 hours but I recognise that as a me being grumpy problem.

I wouldn’t swap my window seat for a seat of 3 in the middle.

wow you're getting a lot of shit! I’d definitely have swapped. Once I knew you weren’t together but clearly would prefer it, I’d have swapped! I’d never sit chatting away! Really odd…

Yes in those circumstances I think the couple have an obligation to swap with you - about the only circumstance where I think people should be made to swap. You don’t book aisle and window on the same row, and booking systems shouldn’t allow people to do it.

If people want aisle and window they need to book on different rows. No one should be talking across another person at all, so it won’t matter if they’re in different rows.

I mean the friendly thing to do was obviously for her to offer to swap. But your poor DH pulled the short straw 🤣

This says more about you, OP, than her. Some people are chatty, some aren't.
If your husband hadn't been happy to chat with her for the whole journey, he could have exchanged initial pleasantries and then made it clear he wasn't up for a chatty conversation. He obviously was, is that an issue for you?

You mean a human talking to another human whilst sitting together?

you think that’s weird???

honestly. The world never ceasss to amaze me.

So sit in them.
And let her do the same with her seat, that she also paid for, without whining about it.

That is a you problem though.

The woman did nothing wrong. You need to deal with your jealousy

You are being ridiculous. It sounds like your issue is with another woman, who was probably just trying to be pleasant for the duration of the flight, talking to your husband.

As for getting off the plane that is the correct way to disembark. Your husband could always have stepped back to let the woman go ahead of him if he felt walking with you was soo important but I really don’t see what the problem is as you will be free to walk together as soon as you are off.

Choose your seats at the time of booking or suffer the consequences. It's not that hard.

Sounds like he didn’t think so, and was happy with his “better than OP’s” seat and the conversation (if he joined in talking for two hours as described).

People who want an aisle still tend to prefer the aisle with one other person then the window to the aisles in the middle block (or I know I would, and I’m an aisle person). Because you can still easily see out by just turning your head whilst maintaining the easy access to the aisle.

If his seat was a short straw you can bet the OP would have asked the person on the inside of her to swap - the person trapped in the worst seat of all - the middle of three. Unless they were with the person on their other side (which we don’t know) they’d be the best bet for a swap if OP and hubby really wanted to sit together.

And why could you not have swapped with your husband if you had an issue with him talking to another woman, as clearly you did, or you couldnt have mentioned the " Weirdly as well as we left the plane she followed by husband off and didn’t let me get in behind him to exit."
nothing weird about it, she wanted to get off the plane and was in front of you.

Clearly what airlines need to do is flag the already selected seats pink and blue so in future the OP can ensure that her husband isn't sitting next to a woman. Although the chosen male neighbour could turn out to be gay so might still come on to him 🤷

This doesn't really reflect well on your husband or you, I don't think. The chivalrous thing for him to have done would have been to move to the aisle and step back slightly so that the woman in the window seat could leave first, then you and he would have exited together.

Likewise, as many others have posted, if you want to swap seats on a plane (itself a discourteous thing to expect anyone to do) then you have to be the one that ends up with a 'worse' seat. In your situation, if I was going to do anything, then the only option was to offer the person in the middle seat your husband's aisle seat. No other swap is remotely attractive to anyone but you and your husband, so it's rude and arrogant to think that you're entitled to it. IMO.

My husband died a few years ago, but I can't think of anything worse than sitting next to someone who wanted to chat through a 10 hour flight, so if he'd been that sort of person then I'd have been delighted that I wasn't sitting next to him ;)

Maybe next time you’re better off not paying and just getting an allocation further away from each other so you can’t sit watching and seething at anyone talking to him 🤣

I’ve met some amazing people on flights and had great conversations, it does make a flight go quicker if you have an interesting stranger next to you sometimes!

Although now I have small children a flight sat alone with my headphones on sounds bliss!

@Flightquandry
Are you particularly insecure? Prone to low self esteem?

Do you feel threatened by women - any woman - and think they are all after your husband?

And no - I would not give up my seat in by the window in a row of 2 - to sit in the middle. Would for a mother/small child.

But you are a grown woman, who presumably let her H out to the world, where he is able to interact with women without problems.

.