In this situation would you offer to switch seats on a flight?

[Flightquandry]

Me and my husband took a flight today that was 10 hours long.

The cabin formation was
2 seats together / aisle / 3 seats together / aisle / 2 seats together.

Unfortunately, by the time we booked we couldn’t sit together. My DH was in a set of 2 seats with another woman and I was on the end of a row of three.

As soon as we took our seats the woman next to my DH went into full on chatty mode. When they were talking he mentioned he was travelling with his wife and she questioned why we weren’t seated together. He explained that we’d only been able to book what was available. She shrugged this off and then chatted to him incessantly for about 2 hours. I was seated across and behind so could see this and it stung (my problem entirely!)

I fully appreciate that she was in the seat that she booked! But in all honesty in her shoes I would have offered to swap seats with me. All seats were of the same value monetary wise. She even waved at me and then poured herself more drinks and chatted to my husband.

what would you do in her shoes? I would have offered to swap? Weirdly as well as we left the plane she followed by husband off and didn’t let me get in behind him to exit.

Blimey op.

If i personally was on my own and had not paid for my seat, yes i would have offered to swap because i’m not personally fussy about where I sit.

I would NOT have waited for you to get off with your DH as planes exit by row order and you know this.

However, i am making an assumption that her seat was already allocated when you booked yours, meaning it’s possible she paid for her seat. So no fucking way should she offer to swap with you.

Also please get some therapy to improve your attitude and your relationship.

My DH and I deliberately booked seats apart on our most recent flight as he is very tall and i am very short. So he booked a leg room seat, which i don’t need. So we were perfectly happy to sit apart. I was also pregnant. We don’t need to be glued to eachother 24/7 and i couldn’t give a toss who he was sat next to.

Ffs

The point is you are more unhinged than OP.
It's crazy how some people think, you should have a think about why you have such distaste for a completely innocent woman chatting on a plane.

Your husband didn’t need to chat with her for 10 hours. He could have politely said “nice to meet you, I’m going to have a snooze/listen to music/read my book now” and cut the conversation off.

You sound possessive.

I would have booked earlier so that I was sat next to my husband.

seems that OPs husband was fine chatting to this woman. As pp said, sometimes you do end up next to someone interesting and talking to them. It never crosses my mind when i talk to a man that he may be someone else's husband, or that it may bother my husband. And i have lesbian friends, when i chat to one of the wives i am pretty sure the other one isn't nearly combusting with barely suppressed jealousy.

The vast majority of people pay for their preferred seats now, which is likely what this woman did. Why should she give up her preferred seat just so a married couple - who have their entire lives to chat together - can sit together? It's not primary school. If your husband didn't want to chat, he could have politely fobbed her off.

😂Shocking isn't it.

How dare he respond to a woman speaking to him when his wife is only metres away?! He should have been a good husband and put his headphones in and completely ignored the woman making polite conversation.

This is such an odd thing to get upset about!

She obviously had her reasons for preferring that seat - most people do prefer to be in the set of two near the window rather than the middle three - it’s definitely seen as the better seat.

If your husband didn’t want to talk to her he could have put his headphones in, or politely said he didn’t feel like chatting. Or he could have swapped with you had he felt uncomfortable for any reason (assumed you wouldn’t have minded / could have shrugged off Mrs Chatty yourself?)

Walking off the plane behind the person who is beside you is entirely normal.

I don’t think either of you are being unreasonable. She wasn’t unreasonable to stay put, she paid for the window seat and isn’t obliged to give it up to anybody, especially when it requires downgrading to non window seat.

However, I also think your feelings are valid here too. I would be upset if my dh sat next to another woman yapping for 10 hrs, I think half the experience is the plane one and I wouldn’t like to sit on my own and I would feel he was having the experience of travelling with another woman. I think I’d prefer it if he put some headphones in 😂 but maybe I’m unreasonable too.

It’s nobody’s fault here, just one of them op.

Also agree he’s a person in his own right not “another woman’s husband” - he doesn’t belong to you and could surely advocate for himself if uncomfortable.

I bet the person on the inside of you would have swapped with your husband though, unless they were with the person on their other side - that might have been worth a go
rather than aiming for that prime window seat.

Yes YABU as well. Op’s DH is allowed to interact with other people.

I'd have ordered a G&T and read my book in peace 😃

No I wouldn’t have given up my seat that I’d chosen and paid for to someone else who 1. didn’t ask and 2. was capable of sitting on their own for a few hours. It wouldn’t occur to me that a husband and wife couldn’t sit apart on a plane. I would only have offered if the person was under 15 or disabled.

What did the person next to you say when you told them you weren’t able to sit next to your husband?

Maybe he should have let her go in front of him then? He could just as easilyhave stepped back and let her out in front.

She paid for her seat where she wanted to sit.

This is bonkers!! Of course she shouldn’t offer to swap, it’s her seat!
and if you are having a nice chat to the person next to you so what!? It makes the time go faster. Did you talk to your neighbour?
I won’t even mention the fact she obviously wanted to separate you on the way off the plane for god only knows what reason…. 🤦‍♀️

Your DH is your husband but he is also a human being. Do you expect chatty people to segregate / discriminate in who they chat to based on marital status? I think chatty people are just chatty with anyone.

This!

I will chat to anyone and everyone. Don't get me wrong, if someone got a book out / put their earphones in / closed their eyes then I would take the hint and stop talking. But if someone is interesting and willing to engage in conversation then I'm happy! My DH knows what I'm like (which is probably why he doesn't mind not being sat next to me 😂).

She wanted that seat
He isn't your possession

I never said he wasn’t allowed to.
I said I wouldn’t like it myself either and understand why she’s upset, as it was a bit of a shitty situation for her.
I wouldn’t say anything because he hasn’t done anything wrong, I’d just internally feel disappointed, like the op!

Maybe he um, wanted to speak to this person. God forbid he makes his own decisions as to who he interacts with.

I think her main problem was assuming you were sane.

You are coming across very territorial.

yes but obvioulsy that's the women with no connection to OP's fault, not the husband. The cheek of the tempting hussy.

Not so………and I notice that you’ve made no reference to my comment about the DH lack of good manner when editing the plane and waiting for his wife before deboarding .

Have a word with yourself and make comment on the OP’s situation rather than picking fault with someone else’s comments.