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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nervous of dogs

69 replies

Wombe92 · 24/03/2026 18:54

I was wondering on people's opinions.... I am nervous of dogs and sometimes see them off if when comes up to me while walking. Is this actually okay to do?

OP posts:
Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 25/03/2026 10:19

GateauSVP · 25/03/2026 10:16

OP is asking because the "he's only being friendly" brigade are now a significant minority who thinks this behaviour is OK and people should put up with it.

I am runner. I regularly get dogs running up to me and getting under my feet. I'm amazed I haven't tripped yet. There's also one woman with a large dog she has on a long lead and she lets him come up to me every bloody time I see them. The path isn't that narrow but she's not willing to reign him in to let me pass. Peak entitlement!

You’d be well within your rights to kick out at them (partly joking), especially if the owners ignore you.

SandyHappy · 25/03/2026 10:23

KimberleyClark · 25/03/2026 10:08

My DB’s lovely black lab had to be pts last year - he literally never hurt anyone or anything in his life.

I had a dog like this too, he was a rescue and lived to be 16, never showed an ounce of aggression to anyone or anything, another one that I lost before Christmas same thing, she was the most friendly happy dog, that never even growled at anything in her whole life.

But there is an arrogance and ignorance about people who say their dog 'would never hurt a fly' to strangers, because that can't EVER be guaranteed by anyone.. Even my two gorgeous natured dogs, I would never let approach strangers, or other dogs on lead, because responsible dog owners just don't do that.

InterestedDad37 · 25/03/2026 10:28

I'd say "shoo" to a dog, but I wouldn't say "boo" to a goose.

Gardenquestion22 · 25/03/2026 10:29

We had dogs when I was growing up - but as a grown up I got quite nervous of them until we got our own and I got tuned up back into their body language. I walk a lot with my dog in lots of doggy areas for 6 years now and I've probably been jumped up on by a dog 4 times in all that time.

Most ignore you and if they do come close it's a passing sniff. If you ignore them, they will 99/100 ignore you.

So my answer is more exposure not less!

Wombe92 · 25/03/2026 13:22

I know what you mean, I will try that next time. I also feel you look 'odd' walking without a dog these days

OP posts:
Livpool · 25/03/2026 13:24

Pricelessadvice · 24/03/2026 20:59

I’ve tried doing the same with humans.

If people are coming towards you and sniffing you then perhaps you need to rethink your personal hygiene

Wombe92 · 25/03/2026 13:39

I don't actually hate dogs but don't want them near me without being asked if it's OK

OP posts:
MissyB1 · 25/03/2026 13:47

“Shoo” will mean nothing to a dog. You could put your hand out, flat palm up, with a very stern “No!!” Or keep walking and totally ignore. If they jump up you lift one knee up in front of them - not aiming to make contact, just creating a barrier.

MissDiag · 25/03/2026 13:47

KimberleyClark · 25/03/2026 09:27

Me neither. Most of the dogs I encounter keep themselves to themselves. But some people, even if they see a dog in a field playing fetch with its owner, will see the dog as being “out of control”.

You often post on these threads saying this kind of thing. Implying it does not happen very often and people are exaggerating. I am not scared of dogs but do not like them coming up to me. It does happen reasonably regularly where a dog will come up and sniff at you either outside or in a café etc. It is 50-50 whether the owner is responsible and apologetic or not. But there are definitely untrained dogs that will come up to you even if you are walking down a path not attracting attention. Please don’t dismiss that it happens.

MissDiag · 25/03/2026 13:48

SandyHappy · 25/03/2026 10:23

I had a dog like this too, he was a rescue and lived to be 16, never showed an ounce of aggression to anyone or anything, another one that I lost before Christmas same thing, she was the most friendly happy dog, that never even growled at anything in her whole life.

But there is an arrogance and ignorance about people who say their dog 'would never hurt a fly' to strangers, because that can't EVER be guaranteed by anyone.. Even my two gorgeous natured dogs, I would never let approach strangers, or other dogs on lead, because responsible dog owners just don't do that.

It is good to know that owners like you exist.

MissDiag · 25/03/2026 13:51

My elderly mother carries a stick as she hates dogs coming up to her. I’ve have told her not to ever use this to wave at or strike a dog, for the sake of her and the animal.

I think staying still and ignoring is the best strategy. I also have an expressionless face and I don’t engage with the dog. I might glare at the pathetic owner afterwards though.

ForMerryMauveDreamer · 25/03/2026 13:53

Wombe92 · 24/03/2026 19:33

By saying 'shoo'

I wouldn’t do this. You’ll only excite them/make them nervous. Just ignore them completely and keep walking.

people shouldn’t allow their dog to approach you but hey ho, many do.

WiddlinDiddlin · 25/03/2026 14:53

Not unreasonable to be nervous but what you're doing might make matters worse.

Just ignore and keep walking at a steady pace, hands in pockets/by your side. If a dog does actually jump up, stand still, 'be a tree' and ask the owner to recall their dog (in as even a tone as you can manage).

Shouting, staring, waving hands, running, high pitched noises, kicking out - all more likely to wind a dog up, or if the dog is conflicted/anxious etc, trigger an aggressive response.

To be clear here - it isn't your problem what the dogs motivation is, the owner is at fault but - a bite or being tripped up and falling and getting hurt still hurts, even if it's someone else in the wrong.

If someone is sufficiently thoughtless and irresponsible as to let their dog go right up to you, there is no point shouting at them, they don't care and it won't alter how they behave in future. All you'll achieve is a higher likelyhood of injury to you, to the animal and a prolonged altercation.

Pricelessadvice · 25/03/2026 20:25

Livpool · 25/03/2026 13:24

If people are coming towards you and sniffing you then perhaps you need to rethink your personal hygiene

If it keeps them away, I’m good!

LizzieW1969 · 25/03/2026 21:39

MissDiag · 25/03/2026 13:47

You often post on these threads saying this kind of thing. Implying it does not happen very often and people are exaggerating. I am not scared of dogs but do not like them coming up to me. It does happen reasonably regularly where a dog will come up and sniff at you either outside or in a café etc. It is 50-50 whether the owner is responsible and apologetic or not. But there are definitely untrained dogs that will come up to you even if you are walking down a path not attracting attention. Please don’t dismiss that it happens.

But actually, I don’t find it happens all that much when out and about either. It’s obviously not a universal experience, it doesn’t mean that either of you are exaggerating/minimising.

I do sometimes get sniffed at by friends’ dogs in their homes, which can be a bit annoying. (Probably because I smell of cats.)

Kirbert2 · 25/03/2026 21:52

LizzieW1969 · 25/03/2026 21:39

But actually, I don’t find it happens all that much when out and about either. It’s obviously not a universal experience, it doesn’t mean that either of you are exaggerating/minimising.

I do sometimes get sniffed at by friends’ dogs in their homes, which can be a bit annoying. (Probably because I smell of cats.)

It's happened to us so much that I actively avoid places like parks now because my son is just a nervous wreck the entire time anticipating a dog coming over because it has happened so often.

Portakalkedi · 27/03/2026 23:09

Thanks to the vast numbers of dog owning tossers out there, there are many places I can't go anymore. I'm disabled, walk with crutches and cannot bear the thought of loose dogs running at me and jumping up/knocking me over - yes it has happened in my fear and haste to get away from the slobbering mutts. I'd quite like to avoid further surgery from a fall, and also prefer not be avoiding piles of shit, ffs.

mrlistersgelfbride · 27/03/2026 23:14

YANBU. I do this all the time and have done for 30 years! I’m not a dog person (I’m clearly satan personified).

Wouldn't be a problem if dog owners understood not everyone likes dogs but they don’t. I’ve had some near misses and dog jumping up etc so I’ll just cross the road or change direction now!

You don’t owe it to people to like dogs or their dog.

Summerbay23 · 27/03/2026 23:20

I suppose it depends on what you mean by come up to you? If my dog is off lead she will walk on by right next to you (in the same way a human would), ignoring you unless you specifically interacted. If you mean an out of control dog bounding up to you obviously that isn’t on.

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