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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nervous of dogs

69 replies

Wombe92 · 24/03/2026 18:54

I was wondering on people's opinions.... I am nervous of dogs and sometimes see them off if when comes up to me while walking. Is this actually okay to do?

OP posts:
Octagonchecker · 24/03/2026 20:42

I never know what to do to get a dog off me 😕 I can't stand being licked or jumped up at, but I don't know what to do to stop it. My instinct is to kick but you can't do that, and they don't understand words.

Coxonutdream · 24/03/2026 20:53

waterrat · 24/03/2026 20:10

The idea that the onus should be on a person who does not like dogs to stand still and let a dog sniff ?! My daughter would have a full blown panic attack if a dog was sniffing her - and clearly not under control of its owner to have got that close to her. We do our best to avoid dogs at all times and I also work very hard to encourage her to feel relaxed - I am always telling her that most dogs are well behaved, most dogs just aren't interested in her...

yet so often we meet very out of control dogs.

Exactly. Also I tried that staying still and my daft neighbours dog ran full pelt and jumped on me anyway. If it happens again I’ll be looking at proactively deterring it and to protect myself. But I’ve already told them to make sure their dog doesn’t touch me again or I’ll be reporting her.

tildathyme · 24/03/2026 20:53

It’s interesting that people say dogs shouldn’t approach you. Is this just on the street? I am also a little nervous of dogs and yet sometimes take a shortcut through a wooded path where I have often been approached by dogs, my young ds has been jumped on, his sandwich was grabbed from his hand and gobbled up and owners always say it’s fine, they won’t hurt or laugh. I am a big animal lover but this has made me nervous to walk this way. I also never know what to say or do to get the dog away.

Isobel201 · 24/03/2026 20:57

if you don't want a dog's attention then just act confident and keep walking, they'll lose interest. If they keep bugging you, then a quick sharp shoo! should suffice.

hereismydog · 24/03/2026 20:57

Not unreasonable to not want someone else’s dog near you if you haven’t invited them!

However, I would replace ‘shoo’ with ‘sit’ as most dogs won’t understand ‘shoo’, but the vast majority of dogs will have been taught to ‘sit’.

Owlmoonstar · 24/03/2026 20:58

God I hate it when dogs come running up to me.

I understand their innocence. And sometimes they are cute. But dog owners really need to learn that not everyone LOVES dogs.

Keep them on a fucking lead in public if you can't be bothered to train them properly.

Pricelessadvice · 24/03/2026 20:59

I’ve tried doing the same with humans.

Coxonutdream · 24/03/2026 21:05

Octagonchecker · 24/03/2026 20:42

I never know what to do to get a dog off me 😕 I can't stand being licked or jumped up at, but I don't know what to do to stop it. My instinct is to kick but you can't do that, and they don't understand words.

I saw a man do that in a hotel abroad , it was quite bizarre and the police were called. Some little dog kept jumping at him and the silly owner just let it. He kicked it to get it off him after the owner didn’t pull it off him. It’s unfortunate but it did the trick.

Personally I’d prefer not to do that as it could backfire, but if I felt I had to I would for the fact of due to current health issues a dog jumping up at me could easily land me back in hospital. I know it’s not the dogs fault but it’s not my fault either and I’m not going to wait to be injured.

Someone else may have had a recent bad experience with dog bites or some other kind of attack and they’re experiencing PTSD with a dog jumping on them.

You can’t expect everyone just to stay still and “see what happens” .

As I mentioned above when I stood still I had my neighbours cockadoodles claws sink into me. Thankfully my thick jeans stopped it from breaking skin and it was just a bit sore for an hour or so, but were I wearing shorts or something it would’ve been a different matter.

We do need more laws about dogs being off leash and keeping dogs under control.

Corgiowner · 24/03/2026 21:12

I own 2 dogs a breed known to be aloof with strangers. One generally ignores people the other is very wary of strangers and keeps as much distance as possible between them and her. But very occasionally we meet people who squeak and talk in a high pitched excited squeaky voice, wave/raise their hands and sort of jiggle on the spot all because they are nervous of dogs. Both mine will stop and look and the bolder one if this continues might walk over to have a closer look. I often say if you ignore them they will ignore you.
Both have good recall and I always quickly intervene as I fully appreciate many don’t like dogs but lots of dogs are a bit like cattle if you ignore them keep walking and they will do the same become interesting then they will become interested.

MrFluffyDogIsMyBestFriend · 24/03/2026 21:12

Hmmm I had another stressful incident today with my small, yappy on-lead dog. I tend to stand and wait for other owners to spot us and put their dog on a lead. Today that didn't happen so I had to stand between my dog (barking) and a lively Labrador shouting 'no no no'. It doesn't make for a relaxing walk! I usually carry a K9 defence spray just in case although I'd only use that as a last resort (also works on dodgy men probably).

CaptainMyCaptain · 24/03/2026 21:18

Wombe92 · 24/03/2026 19:33

By saying 'shoo'

You'd be better off looking away and ignoring it. The dog doesn't know what shoo means. Don't say anything and don't make eye contact.

XenoBitch · 24/03/2026 22:52

When my dog was a pup, and at that bouncy stage where she jumped up all the time, I was told to fold my arms and turn away. They get the message that you are not interested.
I did find it sad in a way, as you would not do the same to a child. But different species and expectations etc.

MyThreeWords · 24/03/2026 23:18

A calm and firm "No!" would def be better than "Shoo!", which is likely to be quite an unfamiliar and possibly agitating sound for a dog to hear.

And turning your back would be great. Also, if some lummox of a dog tries to put its front paws on you, a step backwards at the key moment will put them off balance and discourage them.

Wombe92 · 25/03/2026 08:45

I have done in the past and they act like....'what's wrong with you?! He wouldn't hurt a fly'

OP posts:
LakotaWolf · 25/03/2026 09:14

I am a dog person - have had dogs my entire life; my parents had a few when I was born, so I quite literally grew up learning to walk by holding our Great Dane's tail! I currently have two dogs, both large-breed (German Shepherd/Kuchi Dog mix and a Belgian Malinois.) I love dogs.

That being said, you are in no way being unreasonable to be wary of dogs or to cross the street if you see them approaching!

I'll never understand the kind of dog owner who tries to shove their dog into everyone else's faces as if their dog was some kind of posh showing-off accessory like an expensive smart watch. My dogs are part of my family and I love them. They aren't just for me to parade them around and get attention from other people.

Both of my boys are extremely friendly (because I socialized them and raised them to be, and I have cats, so they're also gentle with small things) and I STILL keep them on a short lead when we pass other people on walks. I don't let them wander and I don't let them run up to people. If someone comes up to me and asks to pet them, of course they may pet them, but I don't force my dogs onto other people or into other peoples' personal space.

I don't take any shít from other peoples' dogs if they're off-lead and trying to jump up on me (which is always the owner's fault and not the dog's fault for being loose and undisciplined.) I grab the collar or the loose scruff of skin around the neck and twist, not to hurt the dog, but to get it back on all fours and off its back legs. I also have had success with saying "NO" in a very harsh, loud, deep voice several octaves below my normal speaking voice. I've heard to fold your arms in and turn away from the dog to communicate disinterest, but this only works if the dog is actually friendly and trying to greet you/give you affection. (This method worked wonders on my dogs when they were puppies and clawing and biting everything in the world.) I wouldn't do this to a dog that was being aggressive, reactive, or barking.

Kirbert2 · 25/03/2026 09:19

My son's screaming soon gets them scurrying over for their dog. He is terrified of them.

I really wish more people trained them not to bound up to others/approach them. I'm dreading the summer.

KimberleyClark · 25/03/2026 09:27

FastFood · 24/03/2026 20:15

But what is "approaching you"?
I've been yelled at by a man who was running in my local park, on the path, a good 15feet wide, I was on the side of the path with my dog who was just smelling something on the ground, and he ran past me saying "GET OUT OF MY WAY".
Maybe from his perspective I was ON HIS WAY, but I really wasn't. So I'd be curious to know what is "approaching".

I don't know many dogs who would approach someone they don't know in a park, to the point of making contact.

Me neither. Most of the dogs I encounter keep themselves to themselves. But some people, even if they see a dog in a field playing fetch with its owner, will see the dog as being “out of control”.

Mischance · 25/03/2026 09:30

You are right to be wary - they are predatory pack animals and this is the basis of their nature. Nothing fully changes that and anyone who tells you that there dog would not hurt a fly is deluding themselves.

KnickerlessParsons · 25/03/2026 10:02

Wombe92 · 25/03/2026 08:45

I have done in the past and they act like....'what's wrong with you?! He wouldn't hurt a fly'

This winds me up so much. I really don’t like dogs. I’m uneasy in their presence and hate the way they smell and slobber. Some dog owners just don’t get it - although most to tbf.

KimberleyClark · 25/03/2026 10:08

Mischance · 25/03/2026 09:30

You are right to be wary - they are predatory pack animals and this is the basis of their nature. Nothing fully changes that and anyone who tells you that there dog would not hurt a fly is deluding themselves.

My DB’s lovely black lab had to be pts last year - he literally never hurt anyone or anything in his life.

SandyHappy · 25/03/2026 10:09

KimberleyClark · 25/03/2026 09:27

Me neither. Most of the dogs I encounter keep themselves to themselves. But some people, even if they see a dog in a field playing fetch with its owner, will see the dog as being “out of control”.

If you haven't seen dogs approaching people they don't know, I can guarantee it's not because it doesn't happen much, it's probably that you've just never seen it or noticed it.

There is a breed of dog owner now that @LakotaWolf mentioned, who thrive on using their dog to get attention, they think their dog is the best dog that has ever existed and they think other people will love them too if they are just given a chance.. so they don't bother training it or keeping it under control and they let it approach adults, children, other dogs etc.. usually with a shout of 'don't worry, he's friendly'! In fairness, normally they are friendly enough, but they have no manners as they have never been taught, and if they end up in a negative interaction because children/adults are scared or other dogs may be reactive, the owner will refuse to see it as their fault.. they're thick as shit basically, and shouldn't own a dog IMO.

I've had dogs all my life, total dog person, and lockdown was where everything changed for me, my dog now, who minds his own business, was chased, jumped on, mounted, and confronted by so many of the above dogs with their stupid 'they're friendly' owners, that he won't tolerate strange dogs coming near him anymore, and even though he walks next to me off lead usually, I have him on lead when we pass anyone, just to reinforce the message that we don't want to be approached.. 90% of dog owners understand that unwritten rule, but we STILL we get approached by ill mannered dogs with idiot owners who want to force an interaction.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 25/03/2026 10:15

Mischance · 25/03/2026 09:30

You are right to be wary - they are predatory pack animals and this is the basis of their nature. Nothing fully changes that and anyone who tells you that there dog would not hurt a fly is deluding themselves.

Agree with this.

Bearnese · 25/03/2026 10:15

Catcatcatcatcat · 24/03/2026 20:19

Turn yourself side on to it and look down saying No!

Does this genuinely happen to you often though? Do you spend a lot of time wandering around dog walking areas?

Where isn’t a dog walking area these days? There isn’t one scrap of public outdoor space near me that isn’t seething with out of control dogs. It’s just so selfish.

GateauSVP · 25/03/2026 10:16

MrsPinkSky · 24/03/2026 19:35

Can I just get this right.

You're actually asking Mumsnet if it's ok to shoo a dog away when you don't want it near you?

Or have I completely missed something else?

OP is asking because the "he's only being friendly" brigade are now a significant minority who thinks this behaviour is OK and people should put up with it.

I am runner. I regularly get dogs running up to me and getting under my feet. I'm amazed I haven't tripped yet. There's also one woman with a large dog she has on a long lead and she lets him come up to me every bloody time I see them. The path isn't that narrow but she's not willing to reign him in to let me pass. Peak entitlement!

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 25/03/2026 10:17

KimberleyClark · 25/03/2026 10:08

My DB’s lovely black lab had to be pts last year - he literally never hurt anyone or anything in his life.

I saw a lovely chocolate Labrador puppy (4-5 months old) recently outside a cafe at a local art/music centre with an enclosed courtyard and play area, his lead was tied around table leg. He did try to say hello and his owner said he liked children but he wasn’t allowed to be petted or go up to people unless they said it was ok. Refreshing that an owner is actually training their dog properly.