I am so sick of hearing about menopause

[haveyouheardthemenopauseisshit]

I get the menopause is a big deal for many women and the symptoms are not nice.

However, do we have to talk about it all the time? I feel like I am hearing about it multiple times a day. We have menopause awareness sessions and e-learning at work. I’m targeted by advertising every time I look at my phone for some new product / vitamin / book etc which is supposed to help with menopause symptoms. I feel like it’s constantly being mentioned on the radio, TV, by people I know.

If someone is forgetful, it’s the menopause. If they’re tired, it’s the menopause. If they’re angry, it’s the menopause. If they’re hot, it’s the menopause.

I’m 39 and I feel bombarded by all of this “THE MENOPAUSE IS COMING SOON AND IT WILL BE SHIT” messaging.

I am also a bit worried that it will make it even harder to be taken seriously as a woman in the workplace, since the prevailing message now seems to be that women over 45 are basically useless because of all the issues caused by their hormones.

I’m guessing I’ll be in the minority here and everyone else will think that the awareness raising is a good thing but I just find it quite depressing!

Come on, you’re being unreasonable. Lots of people don’t know what to expect and how to support others. It’s great there is much more awareness! Just because it’s a ‘lady problem’ doesn’t mean it should be swept under the carpet and all hush hush. It’s not a dirty secret. There needs to be much more talk about periods, menopause, puberty, sex, female orgasm, female rights/spaces, pregnancy, fertility, miscarriage and all the rest!

There is a difference between information and a relentless thrumming insistence that women over forty are brainless charity cases in the workplace.

Have you not seen adverts for products for constipation, diarreah, IBS etc? The pepto bismal advert seemed to be on constantly recently. The Andrex advert when the baby comes out of the toilet with a newspaper saying ‘I’d leave it for a while’ or something like that. But sure, an advert for a women’s issue should be private….. my FIL would agree with you, but then he thought tampons and sanitary towels shouldn’t be advertised as it should be ‘private’.

I agree to a cancellation of the pesto bismol diarrhea song ad if you agree I shouldn't have to think about other people's dryness. Deal?

That's really patronising.
I am 56, post-menopause and am happy to talk about how it's been for me.
It hasn't been horrendous. I do have lived experience.

I was never aware of any peri menopause symptoms either and in fact, It wasn't until six months after what turned out to be my last period that I had my first hot flushes, followed swiftly by night sweats so bad and so frequent that I barely slept. HRT helped but the fact that I'm sensitive to progestins - synthetic progesterone - caused all sorts of other issues.

This meant that I was barely functioning for at least five years and had to reduce my workload massively, depleting both my income and pension contributions - I'm still feeling the effects of that 20 years later, as evidenced by the fact that I'm still working at 75.

Menopause might be a natural event but never underestimate how badly it has disadvantaged generations of women. I couldn't be happier that it's being so widely discussed now, that HRT is available in so many different formats and that women are now being properly accommodated and supported in the workplace. And I've no doubt that at some time in the future, you'll be very glad too! Until then I'd pipe down if I were you, especially in front of women who are currently trying to navigate their way through the hormonal upheaval.

Who is saying they are? Or is that just what you’ve taken from awareness campaigns, discussions etc? I’ve only ever heard misogynistic men say things like that, and even they didn’t quite say it like that.

Err no, not always. It's not a magic pill!

The dull sensible clothes, round figures. Maybe that’s harsh but I think it’s humiliating for the women to talk about their dry/moist vaginas. I fear it puts women of that age in a box where they’re defined by the menopause. Ditto those awful Tenor lady ads with a close up of someone in her nappy pants.

Who is saying this or is that your own interpretation of information

Nah, just switch the tv off if you don’t like it. You don’t have to think about anyone’s dryness, quite weird of you to think that you would. Products are made, companies want to make money, the products can often help people. You don’t have to watch, listen or buy.

This always happens when something has been taboo and shouldn't have been. Everything goes into over-drive to try and redress the balance.

I get its annoying to have something foisted upon you, and maybe you're subconsciously feeling a little insulted, because as women, we're conditioned to feel devalued with age and feel defensive. You can always ignore all the meno info if it's not relevant, but at least when your time comes, your place of work will have to be understanding and accommodating and you won't be left feeling like you're losing your mind.

A few peoples misogyny is showing quite strongly now.

Wait til you’re in it. Wait til your life is falling apart, wait til everything you’ve worked for and collapsed in front of your eyes. Of course it might be fine, but it might not. If it isn’t, you’ll be so glad there’s so much information out there. You’ll be glad of awareness. If it’s not bad for you, it will benefit your friend, your sister, your daughter

So succinctly put, thank you.

Im sorry some people feel their workplace are going OTT in awareness but this is something that has potential to hit an awful lot more f a workforce. Of women who still have a lot to give. It makes sense that an employer does more than pay lip service and actually do things that support. Granted the support can sometimes be a bit hit and miss but we need to start somewhere

How does discussing it widely help except that it makes younger people miserable in anticipation of what may never come? Hrt still existed before. If I honestly thought I was going to lose five years of my brain it would be equivalent to me to a dementia diagnosis (i.e. that would be it for me, fin please).

But that's not the reality for many people and it's wrong to create a culture of fear.

Pretty much every pro Peri Panic poster on this thread is saying it.

Culture of fear? Perhaps not every young woman is a sensitive soul and can deal with this information in a measured way.

Miserable? Really? Should we stop talking about dementia is case that makes young people miserable in anticipation? Withhold information about periods to kids becasue that might make them miserable?

How do you deal with the news that after 40 your life will "fall apart", you won't be able to sleep, you'll become overweight and sexless and unable even to think?

(Which is the literal message of Meno culture)

Nobody claims everyone will get dementia. Those who are diagnosed with dementia are recognised as having good reason to completely despair.

When people recognise the symptoms, they’re more likely to seek medical help and make changes that help them.

At my work, women that may have left due to symptoms, have been given reasonable adjustments and been able to carry on working, benefitting them and the company.

It stops women suffering in silence like they did years ago when it was taboo. Having your partner, family, workplace have an awareness is a good thing.

I raised the fact that menopause is not a one size fits all and that we needed to address women's health, periods, gynaecological issues as and when, making adjustments for the individual. I got dismissed, but I had considerable issues with a fibroid for 10 years, so know how difficult life can be in hiding and compensating for this, I have a younger friend with awful endometriosis and know of so many women whose issues have been dismissed. I know menopause has implications for many, but the focus on one issue misses the larger picture imo and seems to allow for generalisations in beliefs, especially around women's capabilities!

It is a bad thing that they think I am subnormal when I'm not.

No-one is claiming that every woman will have the worst case of menopause symptoms, either. They're just educating people about various things that might affect them and what they can do about it.