Go the fucking fuck to fucking sleep you are 12!!!

[WTFits2025]

Oh I've no bloody idea what the topic is FFS, I just need to rant!!

In my 13th year since only child DS was born. Sleep evaded him since he departed the womb. Diagnosed at 7 with ADHD, autistic traits, ODD, sleep settling problems. He's no way near as high need as a lot of kids I read about but FMEL, I have a daily fantasy about having a neverending swim in our nearby river or buggering off to Australia on my own, for ever.

It's been like this since he could talk:

Argues with every single word I utter. Even "what a beautiful day". Reponse no it isn't.

Steadfastly never believed I have anything worthwhile to say, laughs at me, mocks me.

Rude, disrespectful, swears, always angry.

Anger always at me. Intense love always at me.

Never, ever gone to sleep before 11.

Christ's sake I could bore on for hours about it all. I'm just done in. Had him at 38 via an IVF miracle. Saw the lovely things ahead of us like learning to ride a bike, plant seeds, garden, learn to swim, it's all been fucked by ADHD and the demand resistance of it.

Career none existent now, mental health fucked. Memories fucked. I just live from his one mood to his next and pray every evening for him to fall asleep so I can sly a cigarette then get in bed.

I don't need any PDA, ADHD, autism etc advice. Trust me, I've trained, learned, researched it all. Just would love some empathy. I'd run under a truck for him but hate how he treats me 💔

That’s shit. I wish I could come up with something that’s comforting and insightful but I can’t. It’s fucking shit and I can’t imagine how insurmountable it must feel 💐

I have no advice to give - but you are doing an incredibly difficult job and it sounds like you're doing it well.

That all sounds really difficult op - you’re not unreasonable to feel exhausted by it. You’re a person with feelings too.

That sounds utterly exhausting, and like you are doing an incredible job (all the research etc). Please take all the empathy 💐. I hope you can find yourself again, and some time for yourself.

That's so rough. Sending hugs.

My son is similar , it’s exhausting and feels impossible at the moment so no advice , just solidarity. I’m looking at private assessments so he can possibly try medication (had asd assessment and diagnosed last year but almost certainly adhd too) it’s the demand avoidance bit thats making it all so impossible

Also no real advice to give but I'm guessing you don't want or need it as much as you need people to agree it's shit. And it is, total shit and totally sodding unfair that some kids and parents have all this to deal with. I'm sorry and I hope you miraculously have a good week this week so you get some time to breathe and think about yourself for a bit. Please don't do the long swim to Australia, it's quite early in the year and the water will be a bit nippy.

"Anger always at me. Intense love always at me."

Totally resonates with me. ADHD 10 year old son. It's either "you're the worst mummy ever!" Or "best mummy ever!"

Send help. Or alcohol.

It's like having an incredibly disrespectful teenage, emotional toddler 🫣

I can’t help you, but I can say my mum probably wrote defamatory posts on mumsnet about me throughout my childhood, also diagnosed ADHD. But I am now 26, have mellowed out and we are very close 😃

My early teenage years were the worst, so things might get better as he gets older, even if they have never been ok

‘Anger always at me. Intense love always at me.’ Ouch, I almost felt that. 💐 Empathy heading to you. Sounds like you are doing amazing, loving, job OP. It must be so tough.

Really?! That’s your first thought? Have a bit of bloody empathy fgs

Fuckity fuck off with your despair. The OP is displaying hers in the form of a fucking rant. Fuck's it got to do with you if she swears?

OP, that sounds so hard. I'm so sorry.

When alone and thinking about your DS, focus only on the times he shows you his intense love. The rest is hard but unimportant.

Really! If that’s all you have to despair about then your life must be wonderful. Anyway the thread isn’t about you.

Surely the point is to have a sweary rant here, incoherent or otherwise, and let all the rage out on an anonymous forum rather than in the vicinity of or at her child? Her sweary rant is not directed at an individual but at the situation.

"Anger always at me. Intense love always at me."

This is my AuDHD 12 year old. He was awake all night when I was pregnant with him and hasn't stopped since.

Until that is he started atomexitine age 10. He now... wait for it... goes to bed tired at 9pm ish. Previously would be awake until midnight, up in the night and then up early again. Asks to go to bed. It is the most bizarre but miraculous thing ever. Less meltdowns and mood swings too and it's helped his school work immensely. I wasn't sure about trying meds but I practically worship them now 😂

Sending hugs and sympathy. The hormones won't be helping!

Thank you, so much, all of you ❤️ Your empathy has helped me so much, thank you.

Even the posts that were deleted, assuming you didn't like my use of the swearing!

I feel so alone, but maybe I'm not?

God, OP, I felt exhausted just reading your post.

You are definitely alllowed to swear.

He takes Atomoxetine 35mg in the morning and 4mg Circadin at night. When he was first diagnosed we tried stimulants, horrific effect,

Atomoxetine works for him to an extent to help him at school. Does nothing for his anger or mood. Paediatrician just says oh well go on a course, it's hormones or here's some self help groups! He's been how he is since he was 3 🤦‍♀️ Thank you for your reply, sending love.

I hear you. DD slept midnight till noon from birth and at 15 is rarely in bed before 11:30pm on a school night. She’s AuDHD.

The most important advice anyone ever gave me was to “parent the child you have, not the one you expected”.

ND children need different parenting. Pick your battles. It makes life so much easier.

Thank you ❤️ Insurmountable is exactly how it feels! 😕

No, it’s because it was cruel and completely sodding unnecessary. You’ve got a woman here who is clinging on by her fingertips and your first thought is not to support her but to whine about her language? What’s fucking grim is your complete lack of empathy.

Its relentless. Mine are both adults, now. The AuDHD one has gone from being Taz to Snorlax. His younger brother has gone from being passive and non-verbal to never shutting the fuck up and constantly pushing buttons.