What do I do?

[Love229]

AIBU here

I got a new phone in October 2025, I kept my old phone in a drawer as back up just incase my new one would break at some point. I haven't used it since i switched.

On saturday my boyfriend left to go home as he had his kids. A couple of hours later, I got a gmail alert to say my old phone had been switched on (still linked with old number so flagged the number). I checked my drawer for the phone and it was gone but the case left behind. I rang my boyfriend and he had it. He admitted it and told me to go collect it.i walked in on him still going through the phone. He handed it back and said he loved me. I was mad but we resolbed things.

Now today he kicked me out of his house and sent me loads of messages showing he had gone through messages from a previous relationship 2018-2020 and took pictures of everything (i didnt even know my current boyfriend at this point). Hand is now going berserk over the fact I could possibly love someone else.

This is nothing to do with him and I havent done anything wrong.

He is unhinged. Run away very fast.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them. He sounds psychotic. Get out while you can.

You have had a very lucky escape. Block him and don’t look back.

Dump the deranged and dangerous man.

I'd be telling him to go fuck himself the cheeky thieving sneaky bastard and be glad to be done with the relationship

Thank your lucky stars you've found out what he's like now before things have got too serious. Block him and move on.

Blimey op, I would have nothing more to do with him. He's crazy.

Your last line sums it up. He’s jealous and controlling and no good will come of it. Consider the relationship over - what he did was completely inappropriate, can never be undone & you’ve dodged a bullet. Are you OK?

Hes mental. Its horrible right now but definitely best to get away from him

What a twat. Don’t give him the gift of your time or attention - he doesn’t deserve you. Tell him to fuck right off.

Wow.
Run, run fast….for the hills.

Of course you haven't done anything wrong OP.
He sounds absolutely insane and you are well shot of him.

I am definitely at the run stage, I have had to block him on everything. I just cant get past how this has all happened, he acted so normal walking out of my house with that phone in his pocket, text me "i love you" as the alert came through on my phone and kissed me after handing it back to me. All weekend he has been so attentive and loving after sneaking around and being so calculated. I was wary throughout but this is just something else and I cant understand it.

Why the fuck did you not finish with him when he stole your phone? And why the fuck did you walk over to get it instead of insisting he brought it back immediately or you would call the police?

Get some boundaries and get rid of him quickly before any more of your self worth vanishes. Then I highly recommend you do The Freedom Programme before dating again. Wake up OP please!

I’d call the police and report it, just as a precaution. Sounds like a raving lunatic. Hope you’re ok OP

Tell the thieving fucker to get gone? The fact that you had relationships prior to him cannot be a surprise? Was he a virgin when you met? Thought not! In the bin.

Wow! I would never forgive this and he is acting unhinged. Run, very fast but get your phone back first

No you haven't done anything wrong, but you have had a lucky escape before you got too far in.

Tell him to piss off and block.

Are you dating my ex op lol, he hated the fact i had a boyfriend 2 year before i met him, yes you read that right, didnt know him at all at the time, but it was wrong for me to have been with anyone else.

He got the boot within the first 8 weeks told him to fuck right off unhinged bastard.

Leave him.

This is nothing to do with him and I havent done anything wrong.
You haven't but bin him and block him.

No wonder he's no longer with his children's mother.

Oh that's just bizarre behaviour!

Who's he waiting for? The virgin Mary ?!?

He is showing you his true self. Unhinged. A liar and manipulator. Angry and jealous. A thief. And dangerous. Believe him. Block him on everything and have nothing more to do with him.
be glad it happened now so you get to escape easily

I'd do a clares law request now and see what that flags. That's extremely concerning behaviour and there's no way he doesn't have form for it. The fact he's clearly volatile and abusive and has his kids there at the time presumably is very, very worrying. If he continues to send you abusive messages I'd also report him for harassment.

This is completely abnormal and I agree you should have broken up with him as soon as he stole your phone. But hindsight is 20/20. No matter what happens next or if he comes apologising do not ever get back with this man or let him over your door again, he's clearly dangerous.

This is going to sound a bit ott but have you checked around your home and car for cameras or monitoring devices? Just incase he has been snooping for longer than you've realised. He's obviously been thinking about this and has planned for the opportunity thinking he'd be able to replace it before you noticed it was gone which is really nefarious planning on his part.

First post nailed it.

This is not normal. He is jealous and controlling, as they say throw him back.

Oh and probably log everything somewhere lest you find you are being stalked.