My DM is on a tour via Dubai and she won’t cancel

[Donotfitin]

My DM is due to fly on Wednesday via Dubai to Thailand. The tour is like £5k and they won’t let her cancel so she’d lose her money (minus airfare as Emirates is giving refunds).

AIBU to think she’s being irresponsible by going?

I think people are being a bit facetious with all this stuff about her having capacity. Yes, she probably does have capacity to make these decisions. But I know what it is like to have older relatives who make unwise decisions and then expect you to bail them out. They ask for help when it suits them and then when you’re trying to be sensible and caring, they ignore that advice. It can be very frustrating but your hands are tied. You are clearly worried about her because you care.

Having said that, I wouldn’t risk losing my money and would go on that holiday.

Travel to Dubai IS advised against - where are uou getting your info from?
https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/united-arab-emirates/safety-and-security

Friend flew out to Thailand 2 days ago via Abu Dhabi (only an hour or so from Dubai so close by) No problems at all

There's still an Emirates flight landing every day in Glasgow from Dubai. It's entirely up to her but the insurance issue would bother me, her travel insurance is probably void if she is going somewhere that the government recommends against.

What country is she flying from

If she's on an organised tour then the tour company will have a repr, at the airport, on coaches and at hotels to help with any questions, boarding etc.

Yeah, but that doesn’t mean she won’t get stuck. Besides the rep in Dubai can’t anything “negative” as that’s against government guidelines.

And I know it’s not a given that she’ll get stuck, but that’s my concern.

We’re pretty close yeah my sister got example doesn’t know she’s going to Thailand

She’s a grown woman. Let her get on with it.

An entirely reasonable concern - not sure why everyone else is having such trouble grasping this given that you know your mother and they don’t

The op's mother does not need to be talked down to like she is a child

Following for OP's update about what happens on Wednesday-thursday this week.

Yea, but not our state. The worry has never been about the war per se (when it’s your time, it’s your time), it’s always been about the travel disruption

Just leave her alone, OP. She is an adult.

And if you resent helping her out with ETAs etc, then don't do it.

All your posts are horribly condescending about your mum. Why is that?

I would go if I was your mum! Losing 5k is a lot and I would rather take the chance. Yes things can kick off but there are also lots of flights coming and going from the area successfully- of course the media doesn’t talk about those. Some things my parents did I would have advised against - but honestly you can’t and shouldn’t try to control people.

I think she’s perfectly capable of being fully independent yet and self sufficient which is why I find it annoying that she can’t do a lot of online admin, nor take a train from Paddington, and she most certainly can walk to her seat on a plane… yet she herself claims she’s completely useless.

I’d stop doing any of it for this trip. It’s the only real thing you can do. If she wants to go still, she can do all the work for it.

and you are an adult woman who can say "no" when she asks for help?

TBH i notice when i (overseas from my parents) am visiting, that i do an awful lot of things for them that they just have to get on with, or not do, when i am not there. They are in their late 80s and the way i see it is: why not help if i can? If they were doing something i didn't agree with (sending money to Reform for eg) then i would tell them to do it themselves.

You have to practice saying "no" and let her get on with things.

My attitude to most things is: there is a solution to pretty much everything, and while i mitigate as much in advance, and anticipate as much in advance as i can, sometimes you just have to roll with things and handle them as they come up.

Well my DM was due to fly back tomorrow. It turns out her booked flight has been cancelled for the past 4 weeks! Emirates was not able to help, and my DM has not been online for 24hrs+

I just hope she makes it home ok

Did she make it home OP?