To think he has to communicate at some point?

[PostmanNat]

2 years ago my ex left me for his best friends sister (I kind of had a gut feeling it was happening but I was so busy with the kids)

anyway, since the split he has blocked me on all avenues, I don’t know where he lives and cannot get hold of the children when they are with him. They are 5 and 8. He even refuses to come to parents evening with me.

Have you ever phoned/texted/communicated by SM when he didn't want you to/asked you not to?

I had to block my ex husband many years ago and come off SM due to harassment, and as much as I loved his mum, I had to block her number too as he'd started to send me abusive texts from her phone.

I also wouldn't let him know where I lived.

If none of this applies to you, then it's a mystery as to why he's blocked so many avenues of communication with you.

I'm not sure about this thread

He's doing it because he is a complete c**t basically. I was going to suggest a co parenting app too. When they are a bit older get them a couple of cheap burner phones so they can contact you in an emergency.
Some .en are just like this. My ex husband was too and he eventually lost custody because of it.

What grief did you give him. What do you call standard. When my ex left i let him.

I agree with @Tablesandchairs23

this is where we learn op has been abusive to ex/caused loads of grief /attacked his girlfriend or something so he’s blocked her ……

what grief did you cause ?

Can you move, block him and not tell him your address 😆

Seriously though, he sounds like a w*nker of the highest order.

What do you mean by giving him grief? Why were you recording him? I'm asking to try and figure out if you could be accused of harassment/stalking, in which case you need to be careful about how you manage things, especially if he is manipulative. If you give him the evidence he can use to accuse you of harassment and stalking you could end up in a lot of trouble.

🤔

I feel like there's so much more to this story... Why were you recording your conversations with him?

And as others have said, how are you arranging for him to have the children if you have no contact with him at all?

Many people have already made up their minds he's a cunt, without asking any background questions at all.

I expect the fact the owns a penis is enough to make him guilty.

Eh? That doesn't answer the question at all!

It's petty and controlling of him not to give you the info, but I imagine if he has no intention of communicating then he will not. The children are not babies and I presume you don't think he is a significant risk so I would just drop it. What are you recording his conversations for? This sounds unhinged. Stop playing control games.

Don't have any expectations and you won't be disappointed sounds about right TBF.

Why can you not just use a parenting app and an email address?

You don't need to know his address or phone number, just as he does not need to know yours, if you move.

You are both capable of communicating via the app, arranging pick ups/drop offs and any other information.

Get that established as the norm, and then move on.

And as others have said, how are you arranging for him to have the children if you have no contact with him at all?

OP is avoiding answering this.

No she isn't, she has said

He rings me on withheld number

If that's the case then he is communicating with her. Totally different than what OP is claiming.

Not sure about this thread.

If it's genuine, I would withhold contact and make him take me to court for it. I wouldn't answer the phone to a withheld number.

So far, from what OP has said, he calls her to arrange a time to collect and drop off. He collects the kids (presumably) and although OP doesn't know his address, she has no concerns about the welfare of the children whilst in his care. He returns the kids at the agreed time.

OP in the meantime, is giving him grief and recording phone calls for no apparent reason.

Not for no apparent reason, we were on the phone and I was trying to get him to see the children more as he only sees them 4 nights a month. He said he can’t and I asked him if there was nothing at all he could do and I asked if he cared about what was best for the children and he said no (he may have been joking I don’t know) just couldn’t believe he said it.

in response to the blocking, I was absolutely torn apart when he was taking my children out with a new woman 2 weeks later, I couldn’t get my head around the whole thing, I was really hurt and probably did give him some well deserved abuse.

Yes, it does. He rings her from withheld number which is how they arrange pickups. But she cannot reach him unless he calls himself because, while she knows his number, she is blocked on his phone.

If you gave him some well-deserved abuse, he probably sees that as good reason to block you on all channels. What would happen if you just didn't answer his calls from a withheld number? Would he just not bother to see his children at all?

To be honest he barely rings. We have a plan in place, he only rang me once when he dropped the kids off and I wasn’t there (I had nipped to the shop)

The harder you push the harder he will push back

if there was an emergency the police could track ether of you down
you say he’s safe with them
you’ve given him abuse
you said you were going to record calls
as you said your solicitor says he doesn’t have to give you his number

the only outcome is going to be more grief and no number

You surely must see him when he drops the kids off so I guess he doesn’t really need to call you if you have an agreed pick up and drop off time presumably once a week if he sees them four times a month. Whilst not 100% ideal that you don’t know where they are, they are looked after and fine whilst with him. I hate to say but this is absolutely a case of needing to hear both sides and to why he has gone to the great lengths of blocking you on absolutely everything and withholding his address.

in response to the blocking, I was absolutely torn apart when he was taking my children out with a new woman 2 weeks later, I couldn’t get my head around the whole thing, I was really hurt and probably did give him some well deserved abuse.

There's no such thing as 'well deserved' abuse here.

I'm sorry you felt hurt but at this point he was a single man.

Now he's a man who's blocked you on the phone, social media, blocked your mother and won't tell you where he lives.

You've asked 'why' and yet you know the answer.