AIBU to create a family achievement wall with framed certificates?

[Anonymouseky]

I was thinking of creating an ‘achievement wall’ at home to display family achievements such as martial arts grading certificates, music grading certificates and other qualifications such as degree certificates. I thought it would be a nice idea for the kids to see their achievements displayed. However, when I thought about adding one or two of my own, I thought it might come across as a bit pretentious. I remember lots of my friends’ houses had framed certificates when I was growing up and I never viewed this negatively, but now I’m an adult it feels like it could be viewed as being a bit weird or ‘showy offy’. For a bit of extra context, one of my boys is very low on confidence and seems to think he’s never achieved anything. I keep reminding him of all the wonderful things he has achieved so far, but it’s not working. Thought the wall could act as a bit of a reminder and go some way in showing him that he has a lot to be proud of. Keen to gather thoughts on this.

I have my children’s piano certificates on the wall above the piano 😁

I think it’s a nice idea 👍🏻

What if one DC has more to display than the other? What if he fails an exam? Or gives something up for fear of not achieving the certificate? What if DC is proud of something you think isn't worth displaying? A wall feels like you're committing to something risky.

I am no expert but everyone always advises me to make things lower stakes for my low confidence child.

I think it sounds lovely although do agree with the point about what if one person has more than the other. What about one of those frames designed for children’s art that you can clip stuff in and out of? You could put up say 3 per person and they can choose the things they are most proud of to display.

That said, one of DC’s friends parents got really funny after they saw our graduation photos through the years (3xDH 2x me)

Pop your kids certificates up for sure! For the adults I think it depends what the certificate is and how many. If its something a bit unique or with personal significance it might be a nice conversation starter or memory you want to share. If its your degree cert from 20 years ago that might feel a bit odd.

Great idea and good for self esteem

I wouldn't.

Certificates start adding up after a while.
Would you just put up certain levels of 'achievements' ?
Or would you replace early one with later ones ?
What if one child is quite a high achiever and the other isn't ?

I mean, I think it is quite normal to put up a graduation photo, but a wall full of certificates is a bit naff IMHO.

My dc are adults now. I am clearing out the loft and cupboards and they each had a box full of certificates. They are (obviously, in my opinion) all lovely people, but they aren't all high achieving people, but they still have certificates for all sorts of things over all the years they are your dc. How do you choose which 'qualify' to go in a frame ?

I'd keep them in a folder. They can still look at them if you think that will help self esteem.

I think it's a great idea. It's nice for your children to see your visible pride and joy in their achievements, by you wanting to display them.

I think it sounds a nice idea for the kids, especially if one of them is lacking in confidence, it’s for them, who cares what anyone else thinks? However I have to say I feel like it’s slightly cringe for adults (degree certificates etc) that seems a bit showy offy

In a room where visitors will see it is cringe.
I, DH and Ds1 went to very good universities. Our photos are in our bedrooms. Our certificates are in folders

Don't do it.My Mum did this and it caused bad feelings, particularly for one sibling who didn't make the wall as often as the rest of us.

If one of your children has low confidence, the certificate wall would be a bad idea. Focusing on outcomes (passing things, achieving things) just increases the stress as they worry what you would think of them if they failed.

It is better to focus on things they can directly control - so effort, or good attitude, or organisation.

Putting certificates of your own on a wall that visitors see is really cringe.

What happened to just sticking primary school certificates up on the kitchen cupboard doors with blu tac?

I think you'd be better displaying graduation photos or photos of them getting the martial art award or playing the instrument. Feels less show-off and also less noticeable if one has scored higher on the music certificate or graduated from a more prestigious uni/course

What do you want your kids to value - hard work and improvement or certificates? I have a family member who does something similar and the message is clear - winning is the only thing that matters. Pursue less challenging subjects, play in the lower ranked sports teams, don’t ever risk failure - just keep making sure you ‘win’. It has done the opposite of boosting confidence in her kids.

It's a nice idea and I don't think it is showy offy.

But you do risk that one of your kids has significantly more/fewer certificates than the others and it backfires and becomes a visual reminder of who the most successful child is.

Have you actually asked them if they want it?

What’s wrong with showing off your achievements or things you’re proud of? Why are people in this country so weird about people achieving things, bettering themselves, being proud of themselves and being successful?

Display whatever you want to OP and be proud! There is no shame in wanting to celebrate yourself and your family despite what the weirdos on here say. You could cure cancer, and mumsnet would still call you braggy and smug for even mentioning it. They just love to bring people down.

I would say the person achieving is the one who has a say on if displayed or not

so a person gets certificates and asked their parents not to display them the parent should say ''I don't care what you want I have decided it has to happen'

Gaylord Focker wall.

It's a nice idea for their bedroom walls, but I wouldn't for a more public room.

Agree with a PP.
Don't worry about what other people think about it. It's up to you and your family.
My kids have their music grade 8 certificates up in their rooms and the others are in boxes.
I have a couple of my own certificates up for the reason that, as a piano teacher, it may be useful for pupils/parents to see that I am qualified.
My SIL made a comment that 'at least they're not too visible!'. But I don't really care, I have spent my life putting myself down and I refuse to do it any more.

For a bit of extra context, one of my boys is very low on confidence and seems to think he’s never achieved anything. I keep reminding him of all the wonderful things he has achieved so far, but it’s not working.

What happens if his siblings get more certificates than him?

I don't think that'll help with his confidence.

Tacky. And as a child I would have loathed it - I banned my parents from school speech day as it was, because although I liked winning prizes, I didn't want anyone to actually see me do it!

We have one, we call it the ‘well done window’. It’s an internal window which I blue tak stuff up on - certificates and artwork. I’ve never thought of it as pretentious but maybe it is. I replace stuff regularly, it’s just a nice way to celebrate their progress and art from school which I particularly like.
I got a new job last year after many years nor working. My mum sent me a card on my first day and I stuck it on the window for a while. It makes me happy.

Oh, give over. I'm proud of my achievements. I just don't feel the need to boast about them to visitors.
If you can't tell the difference, that's on you.