AIBU to create a family achievement wall with framed certificates?

[Anonymouseky]

I was thinking of creating an ‘achievement wall’ at home to display family achievements such as martial arts grading certificates, music grading certificates and other qualifications such as degree certificates. I thought it would be a nice idea for the kids to see their achievements displayed. However, when I thought about adding one or two of my own, I thought it might come across as a bit pretentious. I remember lots of my friends’ houses had framed certificates when I was growing up and I never viewed this negatively, but now I’m an adult it feels like it could be viewed as being a bit weird or ‘showy offy’. For a bit of extra context, one of my boys is very low on confidence and seems to think he’s never achieved anything. I keep reminding him of all the wonderful things he has achieved so far, but it’s not working. Thought the wall could act as a bit of a reminder and go some way in showing him that he has a lot to be proud of. Keen to gather thoughts on this.

I agree with you OP, it would come across as pretentious. You could make your less confident child a folder of their own achievements but I think a better message is that achievements aren’t everything, character matters most.

I kept any certificates the girls receivedin a scrap book for their viewing and sharing. It got ridiculous. Every sport they played everyone got a certificate. "Best snack provider," "cleanest uniform," etc. Obviously exaggerating a bit, but I just found it OTT. It's similar to wmpeople send Xmas cards listing "Little Tommy's" or "Silly Sara's" every achievement of the year. The last is large framed school photos on Livingroom walls. It's creepy to have 24 photos of 2 different kids staring at you during a visit.

Its a no from me. A person's self worth isn't a certificate. Yes be proud of an achievement but doesnt need to be in a wall display.

It’s giving ‘Meet the Fockers’ vibes

sounds very like Gaylord’s wall
of mediocrity

you need to watch this film to understand the potential ramifications of this decision

Yes but your popping them up then switching them around. Same as sticking them on the fridge. Your not making a permanent wall display

Could you put it in an area of the house that only the family uses? Otherwise it is quite cringey tbh. But then I had a relative who did something similar and it was the source of a lot of eye rolling.

one of my boys is very low on confidence and seems to think he’s never achieved anything. I keep reminding him of all the wonderful things he has achieved so far, but it’s not working. Thought the wall could act as a bit of a reminder and go some way in showing him that he has a lot to be proud of.

Well that could backfire massively, if his Yr 1 Star of the Week and DoE Bronze are dwarfed by siblings’ Grade 8 Violin and DoE Gold certificates.

I hope he already knows you are proud of him. And actually I think it is more important that young people know they are loved and valuable regardless of external awards.

And that their unsung actions are valuable. I have a ‘high achieving ‘ D.C. and always let them know that the things that made me prouder than anything snd that they should recognise in themselves was things like crossing a busy station to help a woman carry a buggy up steps. Missing a bus to hold an umbrella over an older person who had fallen.

Let your lower esteem Dc flourish as they are, not in competition with Irvin comparison with others.

Plus certificates are not really aesthetically pleasing. IMO.

I think it could feel like a very competitive thing among the kids, almost pitting them against each other - and whoever gets the fewest certificates feels like shit.

Display them in their rooms if you must

IMO there's nothing wrong with being proud if achievements and showing them off.

If you want to frame stuff and display it, fine- slightly a rod for your own back when, at the age of 30, Child A has pictures of my first potty poo' from nursery and Child B has orphans she saved from burning building and CEO of ICI awards stuff

Cringe!!!

There's nothing wrong with feeling content/satisfied/proud of oneself.

Needing to show off for external validation is another thing entirely.

If you cured cancer, you wouldn't need to show off, the recognition would come naturally.

I had DCs graduation pics in the wall but my friends son failed uni twice. So I put them in a different room.
I would put them somewhere not too prominent -up the stairs / your bedroom /the office - but it would be fun to add some funny ones if you have them - best cake maker etc interspersed with photos

Its hard if you have children with different skills. My eldest has a wall of medals, music certificates to grade 8 and outstanding exam grades. My youngest has no interest in sport or music, and board games club don't do certificates. A wall of certificates would be awful for him.

I think it could be a bit pretensious or even upsetting for siblings or visitors having to stare at a raft of certificates bunged on the wall in communal areas, reserve it for bedrooms or studies. DD had all her swimming ribbons hung on string in her bedroom.

It's your home, do what you like!

It's not something I would do, but that's beyond irrelevant because it's not my home and not my family. You do you, OP.