To want to share my broody feelings with dh and for him to understand slightly???!!

[HappyNewYearFeet06]

Ok, we have3 children. Our youngest turns 2 next week and I have been broody for some time now, however recently it is an overwhelming feeling and never felt like this before.

Hubby had a dr's appt. last week to go on the waiting list for the 'snip'!

So, I decided that I better share my feelings and let him know that I really would like to try for number 4 before he has his little op.

Well, he has turned into a grumpy, non communicative, moaner who has gone completely off doing you know what, whereas usually he wants it morning, noon and night.

So, what to do. Basically, he would prefer not to try for number 4 whereas I sooooo want another its unbelievable.

The atmosphere in the house since it was mentioned is very awkward and hubby isn't the best as sitting down with anyone and talking.

Hi

I was wondering how things were with HappyNewYearFeet06? Are you still determined to have baby number 4?

Hmmm well my dreams of a 4th were snipped when DH went and got it done behind my back so be careful because the Dr's will do it without your consent or even consultation.
We now can't spend £2.5k having it reversed so that's it for me all over. I completely understand how you feel it's awful and has created a massive rift between DH and I, we'll be lucky if we come through.

am at your dh katie.

I know the bastard is making me a cup of tea at the moment but tbh he can never do anything right ever again

You must feel terrible - I can understand men not wanting more dc for whatever reasons, (my dh doesn't want anymore than the 3 we have, but I so do), however, its very cruel IMO to do something so final and drastci behind your partners back ! I would be devastated, and would echo your feeling that he could never do anything right again.

I know a lovely girl a few years older than me, with two dc, her husband did the same thing to her, had the snip without her knowing because she wanted another child and her didn;t.

They are still together but she is often out flirting with other men, and things are not very good between them at all. He destroyed her dream. What makes me mad about that scenario is they are very well off, have a massive gorgous house, two big posh cars etc, so are obviously ok for money !

Pretty much the same as us, if he stayed in his job instead of going back to UNi then we could afford a 4th at the drop of a hat even if he goes to Uni we could stretch to it and after a few tough years it would be ok again.
But oh no even if I save the £2.5k he wants the kitchen done so I'm taking the hint

My DH has said one more dc and then a vasectomy BUT only with my full explicit consent. I am very happy with this, as that would be 4 dc for me. I think i would leave him if he did that to me, tbh. Poor you

Poor you, that must be so maddening !
I wonder what it is men are so against ?
That they think we'll want another one and another one ?
In most cases the woman does most of the childcare, and housework, my dh for example mainly just plays with them or sits and read the paper if he's not at work !
Guess they just don't have the same biological drive to reproduce.
I take it personally when dh says he doens't want anymore - I guess i feel like i love our kids so so much, and when I look at them, or am with them, I just constantly want more ! So why doesn't he feel the same way ?
In our case I have to admit it would be kind of mad to have anymore. We rent a small house in an expensive area. We are both small earners, we are constantly lacking funds for everyday stuff !
Just need to win the lottery !

Sorry again though, Katiedd, you must be going through a horrible time at the moment.

If dp had the snip behind my back I would so leave him, thats just not on.

Congrats happyfeet on ttc, I asked dp the other week if he wanted anymore (I do) he said 100% no. I went away feeling crushed, told him again a week later that I really wanted another baby, he said ok then, I asked when we should ttc, he said asap , wtf. Oh well I'll take him on his word, we hardly ever dtd as it is lol.

I hear middle child syndrome is this really really bad thing to subject children to ... surely you need four just to prevent psychological damage ...

Men are odd creatures! DH wouldn't agree to dc3 (who is 15 weeks old) for 18 months....now he is already going on about ttc dc4! I knew he would want to again after dc3....am going to wait a couple of months i think! Plus my PSB cannot be a middle child

See we are the opposite way round here. I am for the moment anyway happy with my 2 and I DH wants 4. I know deep down I will have another one I cannot imagine not if that makes sense but not sure we will make it to 4.