To be concerned about 22yo Dd solo travelling Mexico for 2 months.

[Maggiethecat]

Dd has a Mexican friend who lives there and will stay with them for 2 weeks in Guadalajara and the rest of time on her own in places like Mexico City, Oaxaca

She booked before the recent El Mencho unrest which I understand has calmed down a bit and her travel insurance, based on FCDO position at the moment, covers her for where she’s going.

We have discussed with her risks and risk mitigation but do feel that I will be anxious for the whole time she’s away.

Am I reasonable to be very concerned?

It's absolutely fine for you to worry. It wouldn't be fine to put your worry on her.

Appreciate all of your input!

I may have to take on a challenge to distract me. A marathon?

🤣 thanks for the giggle!

I’m a seasoned traveller but I would feel concerned too if mine went without any preparation.

This is fairly comprehensive and up to date. Could you send this to her?

https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/mexico/safety-and-security

I would work on your husband if I were you, if he stops supporting her plans she may have a rethink.

She’s TWENTY-TWO for god’s sake!

She’s a grown adult woman. Her dad’s support is neither relevant nor required. She can travel wherever she wants.

This isn’t Saudi Arabia. Women don’t need approval from a from a male relative before they get on a plane.

The infantilising of adult women in their 20s on this site is absolutely unreal.

Of course it’s not unreasonable to be anxious, it’s normal.

But you must manage the concerns you have because children can always leave and travel anywhere.

I lived in Naples ln my 20s. My mum has never moved from her rural town. She was convinced I’d get stabbed/murdered/raped, which I didn’t and I told her the crime stats were higher in England. It’s normal to fear your children being far away from you.

I went to Mexico City last year for work. Police presence was frequently high - lots of protesting in and around the historic centre. I did have my bag stolen from under the table in a cafe that I was at. This could easily and equally have happened in London but I’m very glad I was with local colleagues to help with the communication required to get things sorted out. The theft made me feel like I’d been a bit naive but in general I found the place to be friendly.

Would people not be worried if she said she wanted to go solo travelling to South Africa and see Johannesburg, Durban and Pretoria?

Even here we in London we don't let DD21 walk home on her own from the station after dark. Every single day we will pick her up.

They don't need approval anymore in Saudi Arabia

I've solo travelled a lot as a woman all over the place including Mexico (but there it was more the tourist places, other places i got off the beaten track) and the reality is far safer than people think - especially now when you can take phones etc (i did it mostly before international phones). Obviously things are a bit more volatile in Mexico right now so I would just encourage her to keep track of the FCDO advice and adjust her plans if they change - but its a big country - something happening in one state has little impact on safety in another state.

I have travelled solo in many countries and had a great experience and learnt a lot. I remember getting off a nightbus in Mexico at a petrol station to go to the loo (in the middle of the night) and coming out to realise that there were about 15 long haul buses from the same company all lined up and I had NO idea which one was mine.... but then a little boy scampered over and took my hand to bring me back to the right bus. His family had seen me looking lost and taken me under their wing. One of many lovely memories of the kindness of strangers.

Yes, women have to be careful and she should be aware of not putting herself in harms' way (no drugs, being very careful out at night etc) but in a way as a girl she is safer and more likely to be looked after. One tip I have used time and again is that if I was feeling unsure or unsafe to ask a middle aged local woman for help. They are usually maternal, fantastic and highly capable.

I hope she has a brilliant experience.

Do you live in a really dodgy area or something? How do you think she will manage when she moves out, she will have to walk in the dark at 6pm at some point - or does she have a job that finishes at 11pm or something? I’ve lived in London most of my adult life, in a not particularly nice area, and have always walked.

My parents were a bit on the smothering side but just got on with it without comment when I travelled alone in South Africa (and Asia, US, Australia) in my 20s, and this was pre-internet so just the occasional phone call and letter.

Re the OP, given the trouble in Mexico I wouldn’t love it if a daughter was travelling alone. I’d thoroughly discuss the route with her and dangers and assure her she can come back early.

I spent a couple of weeks in Mexico City last year. I was surprised at how leafy, green, and friendly it was. Great food. There are a lot of American expats who work from there, from lovely coffee shops. We did a few tours and there was a very high percentage of lone female young travelers who were having a whale of a time and travelling all over. It felt very safe. Uber and bolt are good there too.

i understand your anxiety, but my mum always said she felt less anxious when I was away than when she was lying awake to see what time I got in from a night out with friends.

I’d be worried, but you can’t stop her (as I’m sure you’re not trying to) but all you can do is arm her with knowledge of how to deal with different situations, how to stay safe etc.
I hope she has a wonderful time and comes home safe and sound with lots of stories to tell x

What point are you making about SA?

Even here we in London we don't let DD21 walk home on her own from the station after dark. Every single day we will pick her up

Why? That's insane.

How does she have any sort of independent social life if you won't 'let' your grown adult daughter in her 20s out alone after dark?

How do you think people who don't live with their parents cope?

Blimey that's a bit over the top! London is very safe! Contrary to what social media likes to tell us.

OP, we all worry about our kids, whatever their age ... but we can't stop them doing their thing. Be happy for her, it sounds amazing, wave her off and try to keep your worries to yourself, it's all we can do.

YANBU to worry, but YWBU to try to put her off going or make her feel guilty for doing so.

We ask her to come back on the tube by 11:30pm and pick her up from the station. If it's not too late she'll take the bus right home and walk from the bus stop.

For another point of reference, here is the US State department advice on travel to Mexico

https://travel.state.gov/en/international-travel/travel-advisories/mexico.html?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=44031958015&gbraid=0AAAAAqbBk5sZ_gzSqNQxLEE0u4OLX7cKN&gclid=Cj0KCQjw4PPNBhD8ARIsAMo-icyufc9lr-uK_VsIvYuC7jL65vNFmOAB6lsEbsgaoqJfWp33hGydoA0aAnxREALw_wcB

to be honest, I wouldnt be thrilled given the uptick in enforcement on cartels by the US. Kidnappings and crime against english speakers is rising, there are so many other wonderful places to visit in central and south america that have a lower risk level right now.

Does she speak fluent spanish? Is she experienced in travelling alone in a country that speaks a different language and that has a lot of crime? Does she have the funds to stay in more expensive areas with potentially less random crime. Does she have the street awareness to be careful about what she drinks and who she drinks with etc.

Buenos Aries would be better. Lower homicide rate than NYC .

Presumably not in winter when it gets dark at 4.30pm? My 15 year old walks home on her own in the 'dark' in London before 10pm.

We'd pick her up yes. From the station. Or ask her to take a bus from the station to the bus stop near our home.

Gosh. I wouldn't feel I was preparing my daughter for her life if I did this but I realise people have different approaches. On a thread about a DD travelling alone in Mexico though it was unlikely you were going to have the same views as the OP wasn't it.

The sad life we live in unfortunately. I'd have a different answer if we were in Singapore. Want DD to be safe and unfortunately there are too many bad men these days.