To be concerned about 22yo Dd solo travelling Mexico for 2 months.

[Maggiethecat]

Dd has a Mexican friend who lives there and will stay with them for 2 weeks in Guadalajara and the rest of time on her own in places like Mexico City, Oaxaca

She booked before the recent El Mencho unrest which I understand has calmed down a bit and her travel insurance, based on FCDO position at the moment, covers her for where she’s going.

We have discussed with her risks and risk mitigation but do feel that I will be anxious for the whole time she’s away.

Am I reasonable to be very concerned?

I'd be very nervous about Mexico. I know a family who lived there until a few months ago and left presumably because it no longer felt safe.

On the flip side, unlike a PP, I believe travel is essential to broaden the mind and can change a person's outlook on life for forever more.

Read this already. Areas she’s planning to go to are green - at the moment.

Not sure why you think his opinion carries more weight.

Only trying to be helpful. She already knows you are worried, if the one supporting her is also concerned, she may have a rethink. That’s all.

You're not unreasonable to be concerned it's only natural wherever our adult children are in the world

I'm reminded of young Grace Mullane who backpacked around South America including Columbia, and then went to New Zealand where she was murdered

I bet when Grace was planning her trip the last place her parents were concerned about would have been New Zealand

I know @LoveItaly , thank you.

It turns out that he’s more worried than I am ( think he’s generally more risk averse)

I have adopted the position that I can’t stop her, but she knows that we are quite concerned and we have discussed risk.

I do feel a bit bad for her that
her plans are overshadowed by all of this hand wringing but it would be wrong for us to shut up, I think.

As your daughter is staying for the first two weeks with a Mexican friend I'm sure they will give her plenty of advice on staying safe, and be au fait with any unrest or problems

It's not easy is it!

I have just come back From travelling through Mexico. Starting in Mexico City down to Oaxaca and to the east coast. I felt very safe. Buses are good , people are friendly . There is a bigger police presence than we are used to, but I was told that was normal not due to current issues. Make sure she has an eSIM connected to telcel for good coverage. If she takes usual safe travelling precautions she should be fine .

I don't know the answer, but I'm here to empathise. My 22 yr old daughter has travelled alone. She is currently travelling with a female friend in China for 6 weeks. I am anxious a lot of the time, made a lot worse by difficulty in communicating from China and the current Middle East crisis. I am trying to find ways to deal with this anxiety as she is an adrenaline junkie and will always be a traveller. I don't tell her how anxious I am,but I will probably cry with relief when I know she's landed back in the UK...

Yes I would. Mexico has a terrible reputation for assaults up to and including murder on women.

130,000 people missing. Many of them women.

I went to Mexico for 6 weeks at 20 as a solo traveller and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I was harassed a lot and always on guard and looking over my shoulder. When I got very ill and couldn’t leave my room, I had no one to even bring me water or any medication. Yes, it was character building, but I still wonder to this day why I felt I had to see it through and not just come home. Just let your daughter know she can come back early if needs be; hopefully that is financially viable. No one will think any less of her!

You said was silly. It’s not. And solo travellers generally do think about it first. You are scared of it - I find that odd. What’s scary about going on holiday alone?

I'd be more worried about earthquakes to be honest. Make sure she reads up on what to do. How is her Spanish if she needs to follow emergency instructions?

No, the poster I replied to was speaking more generally. Not that’s it’s any more dangerous for young adults.

no one is safe from random drug related violence like gunshots. Young women traveling alone are vulnerable to abduction. No matter how well traveled you are and how savvy and how safety conscious you are there is always a very real threat of abduction. Worry about this more than drug violence. Also meeting traveling strangers which seems to spontaneous and fun can invite dangerous people into your life.

it a no from me. Mexico seems particularly violative but in say this as an American so my news may be skewed.

is she very fair? I know a 22 yr old living in an expat community im Mexico City who is very fair and her DM says she really stands out.

I don't think you're unreasonable to worry.

I do think you're unreasonable to continue to try to talk her out of it now that you have expressed your concerns and she remains set on going. She's an adult. You have done all you can do.

Of course nowhere is 100% safe but being a foreigner is a lower risk in somewhere like Mexico where the majority of crimes are drug- and gang-related. It's still extremely unlikely she will come to harm.

Try to look at it another way. Yes, there are risks, but she'll likely have a trip she'll remember for a lifetime. I did a lot of solo travel when I was in my twenties and those are some of my best memories. Don't taint it for her by going on incessantly about your concerns.

I think your concern is perfectly normal and natural 💐I wouldn't love it either

No it wouldn’t. Anxiety is damaging to the rest of the family, especially when it’s given voice and used to try and coerce. You can discuss rational risk assessment and mitigation without hand ringing.

I would not advise anyone to go to Guadalajara right now. Mexico City and Oaxaca are generally safe cities.

Hand wringing won’t stop her, if anything it will just piss her off and make her less likely to listen to anything you and your husband have to say. If she even avails herself to continue listening to it.

She’s an adult that’s going to make her own decisions, regardless of whether you like them or not. The bottom line is that you can’t stop her, so all you can do is manage your own feelings.

I would strongly advise staying the fuck away from Guadalajara right now though. It’s in Jalisco, where the CJNG cartel are based. Travel to north and west-central Mexico is best avoided, but Mexico City and the areas southeast are generally safe.

Yes I think any mother (parent) worries when their kids go abroad. Whether it’s a post A level trip to Turkey or a solo adventure to Vietnam. My own DD (21 when it happens) is going to Columbia for six weeks this summer on an internship working with an outreach charity. I’ll be worried from the minute she goes down the departure gate at Heathrow!

I agree.
I would be out of my mind if this were my daughter.

Given that she’s set in going my focus would be on making sure that she knows she can come back early without any “told you so” or “well that was stupor@

“Well that was stupid” or anything like that.