If potentially seeing your ex husband after 15 years, would you be sure to look good?

[lettuceeat]

As per title, I may see ex husband after 15years, I almost want to look my best but why? I left him!! It's so odd

Hmm I think I would. But I can’t work out why😂

No I wouldn't because I don't care what he thinks of me. The fact that you do suggests there's some feelings still there.

I have absolutely no feelings for my ex. I left him. I am happy in my marriage. I am glad he is happy in his life. I would still want to look good if we met up. It would just be a way to show that I am doing well. It would be a way to show that I am succeeding without him and I made the right choice to leave.

I would think it’s akin to wanting to show up to a school reunion looking your best. You want to show all those people how well you have done in life.

Yes I would, in an effortless way 😄

Maybe you want to show that you thrived without him. An outward sign of a successful decision.

i had the chance to see an ex recently at a reunion evening, and even though I have definitely thrived without him, I have put on a lot of weight, which had more bearing on my decision not to go than I would have liked. I definitely don’t have feelings for him, but I would have wanted to show him that I was doing well without him.

Of course I would. I left him because he was a cheating cunt. I now see him on the school run every day. Unfortunately for him, he traded down. I traded up massively. Oh, and I'm a whole lot hotter and richer than when I left him. Bitter? Not me 🤣. Just a bit of karma.

Honestly no. Some years ago I would have but I really no longer care what he thinks of me

I would but for me, rather than any possible opinion he might have.

There is something self satisfying about looking and feeling good - especially in front of someone who didn't think highly enough of you.

The fact you are confused indicates that this is about you not him. If it was about him you'd know the reasons why without even having to think about it!

I guess I want him to still find me attractive. We were together a long time and did love each other but it was not a healthy relationship.

i have been with my current husband for years and years and very happy and healthy.

maybe I want him to know I did well without him.

I always want to look good.

If I was seeing anyone for the first time in 15 years I would want to look my best. To be honest I always want to look as good as I can anyway even if I am the only one seeing me.

Yes but in a way that it absolutely couldn’t be obvious. I’d have to look like I woke up this way, nowadays.

Yes I did, saw mine after years this year. I knew the day was coming so lost weight, wore a fabulous dress and felt great. He always said I’d end up in gutter without him whic is where he claimed he’d found me so it was important to me to prove him very wrong

I would know I shouldn't care, but I would care and I would want to look like I had my shit together and was living an excellent life.

100% - make sure you look tip top x

Course I would want to look good, but I’d have to look like I wasn’t trying to look good!

Omg definitely

Oh hell yes. Each and every ex strewn across time all the way back to Sticky Nicky at the school leavers dance.

It's called pride ffs! Nobody wants to look crap in front of their ex. Liars, maybe.

I would. Probably similar effort as my usual best effort. I wouldn’t buy new clothes, get a manicure or anything.

I couldn’t care less what he thinks! I love my life now and my dh. Even he loves my dh!😂

I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t want him to think I was putting in any effort on his account.

Oh yes, but without looking like you're trying too hard! Effortlessly chic and glossy would be my ideal, unfortunately I'm a bit of a scruff and too lazy 😂

You want to message that you're healthy, happy and doing very nicely thank you without him. You're not going to be able to subject him to several hours of how great your life has been so your appearance needs to do the talking.
It's also a little bit nice to imagine he might think he made a mistake in treating you badly/ending it. (Even though I'm not sure they ever really think that just because you're wearing a nice dress and had your hair done, but still...)

Yes, I think that’s natural

Totally reasonable and normal.
And why not? If he knows you'll bump into each other maybe he's having the same mini angst? Do men have this?
I have a similar situation in the next couple of weeks. I'll be somewhere where he'll probably see me. I really hate myself for being a bit bothered by it too with regards to how I'll look! And worse, it's an outdoor event where I'll be working outside all day and it's likely to be chilly so I'll have a rosy chilled complexion and be wearing warm comfy clothing (not a chic fitted dress and heels with full make up 😂).
Im glad you posted this as I've been battling with my inner demons over it. To not care and just be me is my default but there are these moments when I'm like "mmmm, now how can I look together, stylish and absolutely fantastic but be wearing practical clothing and be warm?"