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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Paying to find young person a first job

404 replies

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 08:49

Has anyone tried this, its not expensive £500 for coaching, CV analysis, career advice BUT no guarantee of employment at the end.
Its been a year now, DC is depressed and failing further and further behind

OP posts:
Parsley4321 · 18/03/2026 12:18

@nongnangning why not ! It’s a total nightmare out there for young people and some of the grads I placed were bloody grateful for the really good jobs offered. The jobs were not basic they were good entry level these companies are not going to take on just anyone they want a good calibre so why not ?

Parsley4321 · 18/03/2026 12:20

@mothersdaywoe you would be so surprised I was working in Bristol and the calibre of grads young people and companies were brilliant I’m a natural sales person and the batching I did was very self satisfying - nothing to lose !

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 12:21

Parsley4321 · 18/03/2026 12:20

@mothersdaywoe you would be so surprised I was working in Bristol and the calibre of grads young people and companies were brilliant I’m a natural sales person and the batching I did was very self satisfying - nothing to lose !

I don’t doubt for one moment the calibre of the graduates, It’s the organisations that I would be dubious about
However, they have to sign on for universal credits for six months in order to be eligible for this support.
I think my daughter will actually kill herself if she has to engage with the job centre.
You have to have the skin of an actual rhino, The process is designed to deter people from using it.

OP posts:
MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 18/03/2026 12:22

Have just done the same for DS, with coaching specifically from someone in the field he wants to move into.

nongnangning · 18/03/2026 12:23

Aha the FT is here to help.
This piece just published a few hours ago.
The Great Graduate Job Drought
I tried to post a non-paywall link so that everyone - with or without the right parents - can see it. However this may be banned.
So here's the paywalled link - paste this into a paywall remover to read if you can't access an FT sub
www.ft.com/content/c89496b1-bc8d-425e-b86b-ec89402410e4

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 12:24

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 18/03/2026 12:22

Have just done the same for DS, with coaching specifically from someone in the field he wants to move into.

Fantastic, thank you. I really appreciate you replying.

OP posts:
Parsley4321 · 18/03/2026 12:24

@mothersdaywoe I understand I really do but the companies I dealt with most of them were brilliant and if they got a switched on grad it translated into a job offer worse case they got work experience good luck to your daughter ❤️

Fasterthan40 · 18/03/2026 12:25

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 09:38

Have you read it recently? Very outdated.
but that is literally what the package is offering is access to contacts introductions so to speak
Obviously, they’ve still got to do the work to secure the interviews, etc

Edited

My husband paid for a similar package after a career break. He had already had a good career but wanted to change direction. So despite knowing about work etc. it was helpful and he enjoyed chatting it all through with someone who could take their time. If you can afford it, I would go for it.

LadyVioletBridgerton · 18/03/2026 12:26

Don’t do this. She needs to not be picky and just take anything for now as the longer she’s out of work the worse it’s going to be.

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 12:26

nongnangning · 18/03/2026 12:23

Aha the FT is here to help.
This piece just published a few hours ago.
The Great Graduate Job Drought
I tried to post a non-paywall link so that everyone - with or without the right parents - can see it. However this may be banned.
So here's the paywalled link - paste this into a paywall remover to read if you can't access an FT sub
www.ft.com/content/c89496b1-bc8d-425e-b86b-ec89402410e4

Edited

Have you read the article?

The conclusion is that the overseas student who’s already invested thousands in a university education in the UK needs to invest further thousands in the same process institution. Whatever you wanna call it in the UK.
That’s it.

OP posts:
C152 · 18/03/2026 12:26

OP, I'm not sure what you're demanding is actually what you need. If your daughter is in that much trouble, surely paying for mental health support would be better than throwing it at a "coach" and hoping it miraculously improves her self worth and ability to get out of bed, brush her teeth etc?

MiaKulper · 18/03/2026 12:26

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 12:07

That sounds like a lot of qualifications for £500 though I would expect somebody with that CV to be charging significantly more

So you are thinking of paying someone who's not qualified?

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 12:28

C152 · 18/03/2026 12:26

OP, I'm not sure what you're demanding is actually what you need. If your daughter is in that much trouble, surely paying for mental health support would be better than throwing it at a "coach" and hoping it miraculously improves her self worth and ability to get out of bed, brush her teeth etc?

We are doing both

OP posts:
Holdmybeermoment · 18/03/2026 12:28

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 11:45

Science, She has managed to get stuck in a lab role as a result of the industry placement which confirmed she’s absolutely not suited to working in an Laboratory.

When she’s not self-medicating, she’s actually usually a very bubbly bright chatty happy person that needs to be around people

Self medicating? Do you mean drinking or taking drugs?

She isn’t going to get any job if she is doing those things so, there are bigger issues than a CV.

MiaKulper · 18/03/2026 12:29

I got my first proper job by registering as a temp. Once I was in the company, I got offered a permanent job there.

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 12:33

MiaKulper · 18/03/2026 12:29

I got my first proper job by registering as a temp. Once I was in the company, I got offered a permanent job there.

Was that in the last two years?

OP posts:
MiddleAgedDread · 18/03/2026 12:33

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 11:18

I’m really not prepared to share that

on the scale of "help us to help you" this is pretty silly. You've got a forum of thousands of women across probably ever career sector you could ever imagine and you won't even give us a hint of what area she's wanting work in......hey ho, spend your £500 we might have been able to save you......

aCatCalledFawkes · 18/03/2026 12:33

I paid for my daughter to get some help from a private careers advisor last October as she had left school by then and really felt lost. She helped with CVs, interviewing techniques and gave general feedback. DD had been working since she was 14yrs but none of her future plans were going the way she wanted them too.
DD now has a few part time jobs in very nice areas including her own business as a groom in competition yards.
She got to the point where she worked out she wanted to go to uni so she had some help with her UCAS form from the same advisor.
Now we are further down the line now, she has some top uni offers plus she is off to camp america for the summer (working in equestrian).
When we started she had lost all her confidence and was very low but now she is a lot happier and has a plan for the way forward.
Could she have done this herself, probably yes but unhappiness can be really bring a person down and we were in a position to help her. I'm glad we did although I don't think it was a much as £500.

nongnangning · 18/03/2026 12:35

Have you read the article?
The conclusion is that the overseas student who’s already invested thousands in a university education in the UK needs to invest further thousands in the same process institution. Whatever you wanna call it in the UK.
That’s it.

OP you are really chippy.
The article says something along the lines of:
graduate employment, in the way we have most recently traditionally thought of it, is down and seems to be falling further. At the moment young people who went to uni and "did everything right" can't seem to get the prestige job and career they want - or even one they don't want. Lots of coaches and schemes have set up to help desperate grads with wealthier parents who can pay for their services. Some of these are useful, some not. In the end, grads will keep on trying, any way they can.

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 12:39

nongnangning · 18/03/2026 12:35

Have you read the article?
The conclusion is that the overseas student who’s already invested thousands in a university education in the UK needs to invest further thousands in the same process institution. Whatever you wanna call it in the UK.
That’s it.

OP you are really chippy.
The article says something along the lines of:
graduate employment, in the way we have most recently traditionally thought of it, is down and seems to be falling further. At the moment young people who went to uni and "did everything right" can't seem to get the prestige job and career they want - or even one they don't want. Lots of coaches and schemes have set up to help desperate grads with wealthier parents who can pay for their services. Some of these are useful, some not. In the end, grads will keep on trying, any way they can.

It wouldn’t really fit the description of here to help then would it? More stating the bleeding obvious

OP posts:
MajorProcrastination · 18/03/2026 12:41

Having worked in volunteer coordination and being a volunteer in a few different roles for different organisations on top of my full time job I wonder what kind of volunteering your child's been going for? Nearly everyone who's applied and shown an interest has ended up with a role at each organisation - arts centres and theatres (front of house, box office assistant, gardening, maintenance assistant etc); food charities and community focused charities e.g. food bank, warm space; sports club (events, fundraising, coaching), church (gardening, cleaning, events) etc. And they've all included free training for volunteers (first aid, food hygiene, safeguarding, disability awareness etc).

I do get your frustration and it's great that she's got the Tesco job as I hear that it's harder to get part time jobs for young people these days.

It's hard to give specific career advice without knowing the sector and context. She's clearly bright and determined from her grades.

When visiting uni open days with my upper sixth son over the last couple of years, one thing that struck me as a difference between the russell group red bricks and the unis which were formerly tertiary colleges was their approach to industry connections. At the former, there was an assumption that you already had these networks and made connections with any placements yourself, at the latter there were deeper long-term tangible industry connections and they really showed off the link between placements and employment for students who didn't come from a background where they had existing industry connections. Privilege isn't just about money. It's one of the main reasons my son's chosen to do a degree apprenticeship so he's in industry from the get go but he still gets the qualifications he's capable of.

That's not helpful for you and your child other than to say it's not necessarily something she's doing wrong.

You're right that the Job Centre has very different priorities. In my sector I'm involved with projects which support early career entry level opportunities and could signpost.

My stepdaughter found it frustrating when she was looking pre 18 as there was an age limit on many opportunities but her career is now in the area she started work at on a part time basis. I think it helped that her work's been with smaller more local organisations rather than a big national beast as she's really been supported in her skill development.

I would personally be wary of the £500 thing. Do you have any testimonials from people you know who've done it? It could help her make connections, build her network etc. But maybe she'd get that from attending other industry related training.

Whoever suggested Chat GPT I say "eww". It's so flawed.

I can see you saying she's being turned down for call centre and cleaning jobs and you recognise that these won't necessarily help with routes into her industry of choice. In my recruitment experience in my sector, I'd say relevant experience is so much more important you're right.

MiaKulper · 18/03/2026 12:42

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 12:39

It wouldn’t really fit the description of here to help then would it? More stating the bleeding obvious

We actually want to, and are trying to help, but you seem to not want to be helped.

ProfessorTeapot · 18/03/2026 12:42

It sounds as if depression is the more serious issue here. She really needs help with that.
I had something similar in 1980! Graduating from a Russel Group and not getting a decent job is nothing new sadly, although I do accept times are even harder now.

I saw my GP and there was a little help there. I also started out in retail (shop floor) because my mental health required me to just do something. I then got on their management course after 3 attempts, then moved into their IT department. I worked hard at something I had an aptitude for and have recently retired from a successful career in Project Management. Sometimes you just have to come at things from a different angle.

”Science” is vague. With her abilities a PhD would have been a way into research either in academics or industry. It’s not too late for that.
If she doesn’t want to do research is she looking for something in Pharmaceuticals such as marketing? If so, just working in the labs there can lead to a foot up. A job can lead to a career even if it’s not your ideal it can get started.

titchy · 18/03/2026 12:42

I’ve only read OP’s threads, which have been rude and actually quite unclear and inaccurate given they’re seeking help for their dc struggling to start a career.

If you could start another thread, asking for specific CAREER advice that would help - don’t imply she’s never worked for a start. For her - you said science, but not in a lab. So what sort of role within the science sector? Policy? Science/medical writing? Teaching?

You/she needs to think about potential roles more clearly- I could suggest a bit if she wants lab jobs, but she doesn’t. So what does she want.

Generic advice may help, but unless she knows where to then focus that advise it’ll be money wasted.

mothersdaywoe · 18/03/2026 12:43

MiaKulper · 18/03/2026 12:42

We actually want to, and are trying to help, but you seem to not want to be helped.

The criticism was directed at the article, not you personally nor the person that posted it

OP posts: