Am I buying my daughter too much stuff?

[SoloMumJustMuddlingThrough]

I do buy my 2 year old a lot of stuff throughout the year. A comment made by an older family member made me question how much I do give her her. I find myself justifying myself but maybe I need a reality check. Am I overdoing it? How much is a normal/reasonable?

To give you an idea...
Christmas and birthdays I do 6-8 presents (plus a stocking at Christmas. No extended family or gifts from anyone else. It's just me so yes I do compensate.

Throughout the year she gets lots of books. We have two full bookshelves (mostly second hand).
Soft toys - half were my own passed down. There are about 15 in total.
Then at random times things like play doh, puzzles, seasonal things, etc. Nothing expensive but usually something every 2 weeks

I've started pocket money to help with the balance (delayed gratification), we do two pound coins on a Saturday, one for her piggy bank and one for her purse. We sell toys she has out grown for a £1 for the piggy bank usually on the local WhatsApp group.

I should add she loves and plays with every single one of her toys. We read all her books. She never asks for anything. She takes could care of them (no broken toys or missing pieces). I love seeing the joy of brings her but am also conscious that maybe now she has toys I should start to rein it in a bit.

A child can never have too many books.

at age 2 she won’t know where the toys etc come from or care. Most of the ones I got for our cane from NCT sales or second hand.

I personally don’t find that excessive and I don’t find the birthday or Christmas present amount excessive either

at that age their development changes throughout the year as they grow so rapidly so what they were into in Jan might not be something they play with in July

at the be of the day everyone has to live to their means, if you can afford a couple of new books and some new play doh then go for it

it would be a different story if you were buying stuff and it sat on shelves untouched

Pocket money for a two year old?

Doesn’t sound like loads. I didn’t start pocket money until early teens.

I don’t think it sounds excessive - as pp says they develop so quickly at that age their interests and abilities change regularly. We got a lot of stuff second hand or from charity shops. Agree pocket money is a bit odd though, she surely can’t really count or have any concept of exchange/saving/spend, so it seems a bit pointless. I think most would introduce that more around age 5/6.

Pocket money for a 2 year old is absolute madness, the presents are fine

I didn’t start pocket money until much older but having said that, they are never too young to learn so learning to appreciate the value of things from a young age isn’t a bad thing.
I don’t think you are buying her too much either.

Right from.when he was born I bought my DS lots of toys and lots of books.

He got new toys and books for Christmas and birthdays but a lo of the rest, and also clothes, came from an absolutely brilliant Barnados Charity shop near where we lived. All in good condition and most of it good quality stuff I wouldn't have been able to afford new. So I felt we were helping a good cause.
I never bought him sweets or snacks so his treat was usually a new book or toy.

He was never materialistic and loved his toys - as did his pals when they came to visit. If I had thought he was becoming grabby or entitled or materialistic I would have stopped buying him so much but he never did. And I will say his love of books did wonders for his language skills.

So I think if your wee one loves her toys and books then you aren't doing anything wrong OP

Some people will say it is your money, you earn it and can spend it as you like. This is a fair opinion. Quite frankly there are worst things to spend your money on than your child.

I can only state what I do which is buy toys on birthdays and for our kids Eid rather than Christmas. I do buy them things outwith for instance I went to the theatre with my eldest and she wanted a pencil case and magnet so I bought it for her. If we are out at a theme park or museum and they want something I'm happy to buy it. If I see something I know one of mine will like I will pick it up. What I don't do is buy toys or magazines every time we go past Smyths or just to a newsagents. I long since discovered I'd rather spend on things like clubs they enjoy, experiences and putting towards their savings.

My sil takes a different approach and they are able to afford it. However my niece is now 4 and can't walk past a shop without asking for something to the point of tantrumming. This behaviour is learned as she has come to expect it and it is unpleasant to be around.

I don't think it is possible to have too many books and as you've said you rotate things and sell them on. If you don't do so already maybe start taking her to your local library. She is still little yet but the choosing and looking after new books can be quite fun. As it is I don't think you are doing anything wrong op.

None of that sounds over the top to me. I think someone will always be judging how you do things- some will say too much, some will say too little. Just do what works best for you and your family.

Pocket money has worked really well for us. She can count so she enjoys counting the coins and it is teaching her to add and subtract . She was given £20 for her birthday which I took out in £1 coins. So far she has bought a flower from the garden centre, a banana, and a notebook for £1 which she plays with every day and calls her 'charlotte book'. When we sell one of her toys she also has the coin and puts it in her piggy bank.

It doesn’t sound excessive, the only thing I would say is to be wary of continuously adding stuff. If you get in the habit of buying something every couple of weeks it can quickly get out of control. At 2 my daughter had a carefully curated set of open ended development enhancing toys. By 4 the toys had exploded and we had a ridiculous amount! Now with four children there is an even more ridiculous amount, and dc3 won’t get rid of anything. I’ve never really bought much between birthdays and Christmas but we do have family who buy them Christmas and birthday presents and it quickly adds up

Ignore the haters.

It doesn’t sound excessive to me either, but if you do want to cut down on buying new items you could try rotating toys. Pack some items in a storage bin and then swap them out every now and again with toys that she she is playing with for a refresh without buying anything additional.

The things with the coins is a good idea. She will enjoy counting and sorting them. I would also start adding the other coins as she gets older so she can begin to understand the concept of what each is worth and to add them up.

It's a pound. It's a lovely tradition to start. A toddler will learn that putting a few coins away adds up to being able to buy a book or a small toy? Or it'll get stashed for savings at some point.

It'sa great idea!

It would take the best part of a month to save up for a small book! I’m not sure my two year old would have any understanding of the fact that in mid February I gave her a coin which can now be used for a book in mid march 😂

I've definitely gone a bit mad buying for my rainbow baby. When toys/jigsaws/books were everywhere I bought new shelves which are full and so I haven't bought anything since Christmas. The first two Christmases we bought things to grow with her, large wooden train set and magnetic tiles etc so there has been no need for anything else. Buying things has definitely slowed down now she has "enough". Play dough is always going to be a household spend. Don't feel guilty. There will come a point where you realise the amount is enough. X

I mean pocket money for a 2 year old is insane, she might like to play with coins but it’s not at all helping to learn delayed gratification.

I think it's all perfectly fine, pocket money included. It all sounds sensible and measured, and you're teaching her the value of money which you can build on as she gets older (something I was never taught).

You do have to be careful with choking though.

I am fairly laid back but a child of an old school friend died after choking on a coin so not trying to divert sorry just an FYI.

Its up to you what you spend on your toddler, but tbh I would invest most of it in a savings account for the future. A plastic bucket and a wooden spoon is usually quite adequate to keep a 2 year old happy for a couple of hours 😅

Two year old?

That’s a very reasonable amount of things. She will be learning lots from the books and toys.

The pocket money seems premature.

@SoloMumJustMuddlingThrough I would say as long as you are not constantly out shopping with the 2 year old and you are spending the majority of your time engaging with your DC, sitting and playing with them in doors and out at the park, then the amount you buy is fine.

If your family members are noticing that your time spent with DC is always out shopping then I’d say that’s the problem, not the amount of toys they have.