Lying and making up excuses

[Emmmreallt]

Am lc with partner family as too much drama , partner told his family I am not coming to his adult daughter birthday party as I have to look after my stepmother on that day as she is currently ill . Am Aibu to think he should leave my family out of it and should make up either another excuse or tell the real version?

I can’t even tell what you want him to do from that post.

The last line ?

I’ve read it, it doesn’t make sense. What do you want him to tell them?

YANBU I hate pointless lying. Why can’t people just tell the truth FFS

'my girlfriend won't be coming because she doesn't like you and thinks you're dramatic.'
Seems like it would guarantee a dramatic reply?

Explosive diarrhoea is always a good excuse to not attend something.

What is it that you want him to say? I think it's pretty normal to give an excuse in situations like that, "she's not coming because she doesn't like you" seems a bit unnecessary?

Maybe just say I’m busy as opposed to drag someone who is sick into it ?

It doesn’t drag them into anything… unless you tell them they probably don’t even no they’ve been mentioned

What difference does it make? What’s the point in stirring things by saying ‘She won’t come because she doesn’t like you’? Honestly, you’re making me wonder whether it’s actually you, rather than your partner’s family, who is the difficult one here.

No one is being dragged in to anything, your boyfriend is saying you’re helping someone connected to a parent, no one is going to give it any thought, it’s fine.

YABU by not going. Its his daughter

Well the truth is that you're not going because you don't like his family. "Too busy" just means you are prioritising doing something (anything) else. I would normally encourage telling the truth but if he has to be the person delivering the message I rather think he gets to decide what to say. Why are you not making your own apology for not attending?

Why is he telling them anything? Why haven't you called your dss to apologise but say you have a prior commitment?

Ah the irony of too much drama!

It doesn’t matter why you aren’t going. Stop making a drama.

If you are low contact due to “too much drama” why would you want him to say something which would provoke more drama?

@Emmmreallt let him say what’s easiest for him, he has to deal with them. Why cause a rift where’s there’s no coming back from?

@Emmmreallt tbh I’m wondering how he puts up with you.

I think it’s his problem to address how he sees fit. Stop micro-managing him.

I agree, I don't like using family members like that. I'd just say I'm busy

Actually OP I agree, I wouldn't like this in your shoes either and suggests your Partner doesn't haave the balls to stand up to his family where you are concerned
I am LC with DH family and if I am asked direct to go to something and I don't want to I just say No Thank You and if DH replies on my behalf I make him aware that if he lies about why I am not there and anyone asks me I will tell the truth

Either make your own excuses for why you're not attending the party, or, if you delegate this to your partner, accept that he will use his own judgement about what to say.

Why lie? What's the point?

OP’s post makes sense to me. She doesn’t want her partner to make up that someone is ill and use this lie as the reason OP “can’t” go to the party.
I agree, no need for elaborate lies, just say she already had plans for that day.

2 options really, YOU tell then why you are not going instead of making your partner do your dirty work, or let him say whatever he feels best to keep the peace between everyone. Less drama is good :)