Lying and making up excuses

[Emmmreallt]

Am lc with partner family as too much drama , partner told his family I am not coming to his adult daughter birthday party as I have to look after my stepmother on that day as she is currently ill . Am Aibu to think he should leave my family out of it and should make up either another excuse or tell the real version?

I don't see why you wouldn't give the real reason, "I'm sorry I can't come buy I'm looking after my step-mum who isn't well" seems entirely reasonable. Unless you step-mum isn't actually ill and that's the excuse. Do you not like them?

I'd definitely tell him to leave other people out of it, I'd say for him to tell them the truth but in reality that'll just put him in the firing line and that's clearly what he's avoiding. I'd just tell him, tell them what he likes but don't involve your family or friends in his lies to them.

Saying she already had plans would also be a lie. And the person is ill. The lies aren’t that different.

Ah I see. I didn’t realise the person was actually ill.

I don’t want the fact she has cancer brought into it . She is ok at moment .

You’re putting him in an awkward position by making him lie to his family.

If you don’t want to go but also don’t want to be honest and say it’s because you don’t like them you can’t really get high and mighty about what fib is used to excuse your presence.

I don’t like them as they have made my life hell so I am now going nc.

He might as well be honest with them then rather than make up a new excuse or lie each time

Don't see the issue in what he said.

Its your issue that you don't want them knowing anything because you are no / low contact.

Tell them that then?

Well then you need to be honest. If you’re going to stick to this you can’t just have a different excuse everytime there’s a family event.

Youve put your partner in a very awkward position and you need to go forward with the truth by saying that you’re choosing to no longer attend family events to protect your own mental health and well being.

Pull up your big girl pants and tell them