Partner moves furniture and doesn't put it back

[boilinthebag]

This is not a big thing but it leads me down a path of not being listened to properly. In our living room is a bay window with a table in it where I often like to sit in the mornings with a coffee or snack. My partner (we are both in our 70s) pulls this table back about a foot into the room in order to pull the curtains at night. He never replaces the table in the place where it normally sits. Same in the morning if it is him who opens them. I have multiple times requested that he pulls the table back in place afterwards. I mean multiple times. So I approach the table with my snack or coffee and I can't sit down before I have to push the table back into place. I absolutely know this sounds so trivial, but it is because he just won't do it! despite asking so many times. It makes me sound very pernickety. However it sort of annoys me at some deep level to come into the room and find the furniture not in the right place! I guess I will get called all variations of 'narrow-minded old henpecker' but hey ho.

He’s being annoying. You move something, you put it back, it’s not difficult. I suspect it’s a him problem, not a you problem.

Simple answer, you draw the curtains

It would annoy me to have to move furniture to draw the curtains twice a day. Is it because the curtain pole/track goes in front of the bay, so the curtains cut it off from the room, rather than it following the curve of the window?

I bet your DH is thinking that he wishes that lump of furniture didn't go there and why you don't listen to him about it being in the way

Change the curtain pole situation or get blinds? Or you take over the job of daily curtain operative

My husband is very annoying like this
In your case I'd change the curtains to avoid need to move table as that also sounds annoying

Why is your preferred location for it the “right” location though?

I'm afraid it sounds as though he is trying to make the point that he thinks the table shouldn't be in the place where you prefer it. When you have talked to him about him not moving the table back has he not voiced his opinion on where he thinks is the appropriate place for the table?

I'm afraid I agree with pp that I would just close and open the curtains myself.

I think this too. It’s not a good location for furniture if you have to move it twice a day to open and close curtains. Is it because it makes the curtains hard to reach? If so then change the track to one with a pull thing at the side, or add curtain poles to pull more easily.
If it’s the bay window thing then changing to a track that goes round the window rather than across?

Or changing to a smaller more portable coffee table on casters?

The table shouldn’t need moving to draw and open curtains, its clearly in the way yabu.

'narrow-minded old henpecker'? I don't think any feminist would refer to another woman like that.
For some reason I found your post sad. Would living separately suit you and the boyfriend better?
This is meant to be the most peaceful time of your life, I can't imagine it's pleasant for you having a man in your house who refuses to make your life easier, unless this is his sole flaw?
Also, just leave the curtains, then no need for furniture to be moved twice a day.

If it's only a foot can't it stay moved out?

The curtains don’t need drawing, surely? I’d remove the curtains just to be petty 😁

I’m immediately suspicious of someone who sits in their living room in the evening during the dark winter months and doesn’t draw their curtains. Weird behaviour!

I don't have or want curtains. There are crap Venetian blinds left behind by the previous owner but they barely tilt, if anyone can see into my house they can cope, I'm sure 😀

Do you move it after use ready for when he needs to open or draw the curtains (not sure why it's his job specifically)? If not, why would you expect him to move it ready for you to use it where you want it?

I agree with PP that it sounds a massive, intolerable faff to have to keep moving a table at least twice every single day - it does strongly suggest that it isn't the most appropriate piece of furniture and/or in the appropriate place.

I once had a boyfriend who didn't hear me when I asked him to pass the salt - I had to ask again.

I’m not concerned about seeing in, it just doesn’t feel remotely cosy at night with no curtains, plus it helps to retain heat.

I think it depends on the layout of your house really. We always draw the front curtains as that looks out onto a road but our back windows just overlook our own garden, which is secluded so we don’t pull the curtains shut for that side.

I genuinely feel weird if the cutrains are not pulled at night. They are the first thing to get fitted if I move and there aren't any.

But I wouldnt want to keep moving a table every time I opened or closed them.

I'd move the table back, or swing it round so that I could access the curtains from the side. OP what is your solution to the table/curtain issue?

If you want to keep the table there, get an electronic track for the curtains (you can get devices for existing curtains)

The table must be really cramped in if you can’t even shut the curtains.

Could the curtains be closed with a pulley string type thing on a track? It sounds like a strange set up.

It's because he doesn't want to walk around the table to get to the other curtain. The table is close up to the window.

Yes, that would bug me too.
Yanbu.

He doesn't want to walk around it to reach the other curtain.

Well thank you for all the practical solutions but I can see now that the main issue is the refusal to take on board my request to replace the table. The table is light and easy to push and pull. The curtains could be improved, but I think he should either walk around the table, or agree to put the table back where it belongs. To me it is just carelessness.

You need to arrange the house so it works for both of you. He shouldn’t have to move furniture to access the curtains tbh that’s just badly thought through.

I don’t think you’re a hen pecker. I do think this is an issue for both of you - I doubt he enjoys having to move the table multiple times a day to pull the curtains across. Rethink the space.