What is it with some women and weight?

[labamba18]

Two threads I’ve spotted at the moment, one a slim woman who is constantly pressured into eating cake when she doesn’t want to.

And one a woman who has lost weight and a cruel relative is questioning how she did it.

But more broadly what is it about weight that so many women (not all, or even the majority most likely but a significant portion) are so obsessed with?

Why do people care so much about other people’s bodies?

It seems deep rooted in something bigger.

Have you read Susie Orbach's Fat is a feminist Issue?
Apparently there is a new edition with an update for the online age.

No but that sounds good @Farewelltothatidthank you!

I’m a 90s baby and I still remember seeing all the magazines in shops with “Posh Spice, Size Zero, Still Has Cellulite” and the like all over the covers.
It was drilled into is that our weight is what we’re worth. It’s awful.
Supersize Vs Superskinny, Secret Eaters etc. all those programmes at prime time slots on the tele.
My DD can eat what she wants, everything is healthy in our house in moderation.
Do men feel this pressure? I don’t know.

Weight has been used to equal value for so many years - it’s totally entrenched in society. It’s an easy indicator that you’ve “got your life together” or supposedly that you care enough about yourself to take care of your body (totally ignoring the myriad of reasons anyone might have a different body shape to the current fashion trend).

It’s just creepy how much people care about / comment on others physical appearances, especially with weight - and I have noticed in my personal experience it’s the older generations with a huge fixation on weight and commenting on it. In my generation people tend to stay away from opening commenting unless the person has invited comments! But my mother and people in the same generation seem to revel in gossiping about it / how people have let themselves go etc.

Misogyny and a lot of it internalised and some women don’t realise that’s what it is. It somehow feels worse when other women comment.

Weight goes through trends. Being overweight was previously seen as attractive because it showed wealth (you could afford food). Now it is seen as unattractive because you’re unable to take care of yourself. But there are always trends around weight and appearance - women with TB were seen as more attractive because they lost weight and looked willowy and pale.

Weight has been used to control women. It’s also just not women commenting on other women’s bodies. The trend for very slim has been around for a while now. Kate Moss with nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Body shaming women of the naughties like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton for being obese. The trend moved from skinny to lean but I think it might be going back to skinny.

For a lot of women, their worth is determined by how much they weigh. It’s something that is imposed onto them from a young age. It’s a hard habit to break and many women then project that onto other women.

With weight loss injections, many people see this as fa people cheating, basically they should suffer. The second thread you will be seeing is because the relative believes the person has “cheated” using jabs.

It hasn't changed, despite all the supposed advances recently. Just look at how already slim 'stars' have all gone on skinny jabs and are now looking emaciated. The value of women is still in how thin they are. Look at how Posh Spice (who has admitted that she has an eating disorder) is praised for her look (which, to me, is unhealthily thin). There are very few wealthy, powerful women who are anything except thin.

I think labelling everything as misogyny lets women off the hook. It’s often intra sexual competition.

Some women don’t like it when other women are slimmer or considered more attractive than them.

It's not a new phenomenon.

I’m of the older generation and my mother was forever battling to stay “trim” in middle age. I feel like I’ve had a lifetime of hearing about waistbands and so now do battle myself . Not to somehow feels completely wrong

My take is some women compete against other women and compare themselves. There is a thread going on now, there is one most weeks, where people are throwing hissy fits about weight loss injections and pretending it’s about concern for other women, we all know it’s not.

they are just really fucked up about weight, and become jealous and resentful if they see someone else become slim with what they perceive as an easy way.

it is absolutely dismaying, that they behave like this, but it says more about them than they wish people to know.

It’s women on women, it isn’t men attacking women for losing weight, or using injections, it’s women attacking other women for it, and dressing it up with a head tilt and faux concern.

Sadly my mum's like this. Even at nearly 80 she still likes being very slim. We are trying to get her to put weight on to be healthier, but old habits die hard.
Anyway, just wanted to say my perspective on men, I don't think it's true that men aren't judged on size, it's just subtler. I have worked in so many different roles in many different types of organisations and I can't recall ever having worked for an overweight male boss let alone an obese one, but conversely, I have had had lots of overweight and obese women bosses, including heads of department.
The higher up men go professionally, the more they seem to have to project an image of being at least somewhat athletic. For some reason though, it just isn't noticed or talked about.

A lot of the weight obsession is blamed on society and men, yet most of the comments both negative and positive seem to be made to women by women.

I think it's time we all found another topic of conversation.

Absolutely hard agree, it is nearly all women on women, men can’t be blamed for this, no matter how hard someone twists it.

beinf slim is considered conventionally attractive. And by taking these meds by default women become more conventionally attractive, and some women take real issue with it, they see it as an easy way to achieve what they can’t, as they can’t get the drugs, often due to cost. Or they see it as being able to do it easily when they need to constantly deny themselves.

and as much as well all knew some women competed and attacked other women, it’s taken these meds to see just how ingrained it is.

Because weight is viewed as a moral issue - if you’re slim, you’re disciplined, successful, hard working, intelligent. If you’re fat you’re ill-disciplined, a failure, slovenly, lazy, thick.

Being fit and slim is more than just a health issue. It means the slim and fit person is morally superior to the fat and unfit person. The former only get to where they are through sacrifices that fat people are too morally compromised to make.

Thats why so many women are “against” weight loss injections. Suddenly weight loss and a slim body are easier to achieve, it removes some of the moral superiority. They seek to reassert the moral superiority by suggesting the use of weight loss injections is in itself morally compromised - that fitness and a slim body can only be properly achieved through hard work, and a slim body achieved with no hard work is somehow “lesser”.

Patriarchy. Hth.

Just the success of the weight loss jabs ,shows how skewed our thinking is in the west.Slim/ Attractive equals "fuckable" .In the eyes of society sadly .Women are conditioned through the years to look as slim as they can .DGM used to lace herself into her corset every morning .Even when she was in her 80s! DM liked her playtex girdle.Now weight loss jabs /diets and so on have taken their place

Lets not pretend that there aren't aren't health & self-confidence implications. I have gained about 2 stone in a year - probably due to menopause and it has made me utterly miserable. It shouldn't have such an impact on my life but it does & I am aware of the extra weight all of the time.
It is absolutely nothing to do with patriarchy and everything to do with how I feel, physically having to carry this extra weight.

My own opinion is that there is such a thing as a healthy weight range, however defined (BMI, body fat% etc). Also my theory, we all know that people in that range look good and we want to look that way. However I believe that due to various factors lifestyle and food quality mean it is very easy to move out of the healthy weight range. So many people want to be healthy but are not hence the the volume of posting.
then you have the side issues like jealousy and undermining etc

This I understand and feel the same way. I’m not as healthy or fit when I gain weight and I don’t like it.

But I don’t give two hoots what someone else looks like. I don’t talk about dieting with friends. And I don’t judge someone who does use weight loss jabs or is slim and doesn’t eat cake, or is fat and not bothered by it etc. It’s the giving a shit what other people do I don’t get.

I feel infinitely better, less vulnerable, prouder, more confident, sexier, more fashionable… when I’m lighter. And I’m not overweight, I just mean more of a size 10 than a 12.

Your over thinking it.
Have cake - can be about desire to share and not eat food alone. We are social animals we share food hence we eat together.

How did you loose weight - really means - I might try what you've tried it obviously works - loosing weight is a hard thing to do. Lots of people will have tried lots of diets, 5;2 16;8, atkins, slimming world, weight watchers etc etc. If it was easy they'd be one way that works.

Your over thinking it.
Have cake - can be about desire to share and not eat food alone. We are social animals we share food hence we eat together.

How did you loose weight - really means - I might try what you've tried it obviously works - loosing weight is a hard thing to do. Lots of people will have tried lots of diets, 5;2 16;8, atkins, slimming world, weight watchers etc etc. If it was easy they'd be one way that works.

The people who tend to be obsessed with how much others weigh have their own hang ups.