To not send my child to nursery - another case of a man abusing children

[Ossian1]

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/ckgldr4mm8eo

This is happening so often these days. It seems there’s a new story every month or so of a male nursery worker sexually abusing children.

Orginally I thought they were just isolated cases but it’s becoming more and more common. I’m losing track of all of the different cases.

I’m pregnant and have decided I won’t be sending my child to the local nursery, I’ll be finding a local female childminder who doesn’t live with a bloke. I’ve had a look at a few and have options.

I don’t believe nurseries are safe anymore.

I think you’re being disingenuous about how common this is.
It’s actually incredibly rare, and it’s important to not suggest otherwise. Nurseries have much higher levels of surveillance and accountability than a childminder.
If anything happen with a childminder there’s almost no way of parents ever finding out unless their child is close to school age, and even then children often don’t know to share anything with parents.

You can choose whatever childcare you want for your child, but there’s no need to slate nurseries based on completely inaccurate information. Please point out a nursery run by a 16 year old apprentice?

Sure, because you can control everything a childminder does and who she sees, every single time your child is with them... 🙄

Things that happen with childminders dont come to light.

I always felt safer with a nursery than a childminder for the reasons mentioned above

But ultimately you have no idea or control who that childminder lets in their home, whatever their relationship status. The majority of nurseries don’t have male staff and many have CCTV (which played a big role in this being caught in the first place). None of the nurseries in our small town have male staff. I would say it’s still fairly unusual.

With a childminder, you just won’t ever know 🤷‍♀️

Do whatever you feel is suitable for your family.

I’d be more dubious about safeguarding at a childminders house to be honest.

I would take my children out of their current nursery if they hired a man though. Can’t see it happening for precisely that reason though.

YANBU to use whatever childcare you want and are comfortable with.

I think abuse in nurseries is far less prevalent than you're making out. I wouldn't use a nursery for a myriad of other reasons, but abuse risk wouldn't really be one of them. There is a risk of abuse whoever is looking after your child (although I do believe this is lower when you've personally selected the childcarer as with a childminder or nanny).

But, yes, use whatever childcare you want.

I think DC are much safer at a nursery than at a CM

You don't think that childminders have husbands, teenage boys, Grandad popping round, Bob next door leaning over the fence?

I would be more worried about leaving my child alone with a complete stranger all day every day than in a setting with multiple adults and rigorous safeguarding procedures in place

I think if you are that anxious about it then you're best off being a SAHM and then home educating x

You can of course choose whatever child are setting you like but scaremongering that nurseries are a hotbed of sexual abuse is not on.

I would not entertain my child going to a childminder because, due to them being on private property, I would have no idea what was going on while my child was there. A single adult in charge of up to several children, depending on ages, and no witnesses vs a nursery with many staff, cctv, etc was a no brainer for me. However, I know many people think their childminders are fabulous and have no doubt some are, but don’t kid yourself that they are without risk either.

I think a childminder is much riskier. One of my old neighbours was a childminder for a while and she had a v.shifty boyfriend. At least with a nursery you get a mix of adults.

Maybe we don't need to slate childminders unnecessarily either.

The overwhelming majority of childcare settings are very safe and run by dedicated and hardworking, loving practitioners in both nursery and childminder settings.

It's sadly a very small number of wrong 'uns causing this unrest and we challenge it by rigorous whistle blowing policies and a open dialect about safeguarding duties and culture.

Your children are statistically much more likely to be abused by their father, or yours, or your brother or brother in law.

The reason it makes for such dramatic and horrifying news is that it is mercifully extremely rare that this happens at nurseries.

Do whatever feels right for you. I didn’t put my kids in nursery until the could talk and tell me if something is wrong.

Don’t be ridiculous, I didn’t slate childminders in the slightest.
It is just a fact that if the only insight you have into your child’s day, who comes around them, who may or may not have access is via the one individual responsible then you’re much less likely to ever find out if anything subpar is going on.
Thats ultimately the main difference between a childcare setting and a single person, while there are upsides to smaller scale care there are also downsides to no other adults being around.

Every bloody time… this statistic is BECAUSE OF ACCESS. The fact that children are most often abused by people who have the most access to them is not an argument to extend access to your children to anyone or any situation that makes you uncomfortable. Someone always trots this out and it drives me mad, it’s a complete misunderstanding of abuse, statistics and safeguarding and is always a way of telling women to lower their guard about strangers.

And in response to the main topic, I agree with pp that nurseries can be better regulated than childminders. Men are the danger, I would never leave my preverbal child with a man other than his Dad.

Unkind to call me ridiculous.

It's actually been quite a shock reading the comments on this thread regarding what people think of me and my childminder colleagues.

Truly quite hurtful and I need to step away.

This is not quite true.

Childminders (and nannies) work within the community. They're observed all the time by many different people. Obviously, less so when they're at home, but the idea that the ONLY person who knows what goes on is the childminder themselves is clearly false.

Let's be measured and as factual as possible in our discussion of all childcare types shall we? The over dramatics doesn't help anyone.

Someone who was abused at a childminders here… by the childminders son.

You would have thought if a nursery hires a man Staff would be more vigilant. Maybe they were and that’s why he was caught.
I would choose a nursery over a childminder any day for the reasons mentioned but it’d keep them at home if I could