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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be fed up with colleagues repeatedly off sick?

323 replies

IngridsLittleToe · 16/03/2026 19:48

I'm going to get my arse handed to me and I don't care. Sick staff....I'm so over feeling sympathetic. I'm not talking really sick staff...I'm talking repeated back ache/gynae problems/migraine/back ache/sore throat/cold/depression/back ache/sinusitis/cold/sore big toe....

They have been on repeated sickness absence management and pull it back from the brink each time. Only to start all over again. Years and years of this. The rest of the team have to pick up the pieces, cancel their jobs to cover someone else's and the sickie doesn't have any loyalty at all.

The whole time they are sick they manage to socialise and do a voluntary role. Any attempt to manage the sickness is met with claims of bullying and then they go sick with anxiety.

All on full pay.

AIBU to think they are shamelessly playing the system and should be sacked

OP posts:
Fatorthin · 16/03/2026 23:40

Your organisation needs to pay some money and spend some time and deal with this properly. Get legal advice from a specialist employment lawyer and follow it. It is possible to get rid of these people, and once you start doing it other staff are less likely to take advantage. At the moment the organisation is seen as an easy touch. And you should arrange for some decent training for your HR staff.

BrickBiscuit · 16/03/2026 23:46

IngridsLittleToe · 16/03/2026 22:21

It's completely clinically planned. Real sickness is inconvenient for the person sick. Fake sickness is ALWAYS convenient for them.

Yes, you can tell. To our horror, HR decreed (early on on the pandemic) that COVID would not be included in our people's sickness record. Of course, they should have included it but treated those records sympathetically. A fellow manager and I whiled away a lunch break predicting which staff would go off. We were right.

KeeleyJ · 16/03/2026 23:48

I knew from your 1st sentence it would be public sector.

We have one just the same, currently been off sick for 18 months because of something and nothing.

Before that it was 6 months off, couple of months back to work but refusing to work in the office which was crazy as their job is receptionist...Then off sick for another 6 months. Literally been going on for over 10 years.

I don't get why public sector won't get rid of these people, even paying out at a tribunal would be money well spent.

Standanddeliverr · 16/03/2026 23:51

IngridsLittleToe · 16/03/2026 20:07

Public sector
I am party to medical notes....all of which are self claimed illnesses...neither proven or unproven.
I am in management.
She follows the policy exactly ...as do we
HR chaotic, inconsistent and timid.
Years and years.
It would be easier to pay her to stay at home rather than waste meeting after meeting, letter after letter, documenting, chasing etc etc.

I have successfully managed and supported really poorly staff to stay in work. I've managed incompetent staff to other jobs. It's always been fair, transparent and not devious....unlike this.

Sounds like you’re jealous of her ingenuity OP? She’s just making the most of a ridiculous system.

KitTea3 · 17/03/2026 00:12

Well this thread gives me a warm fuzzy feeling about returning back to work after being off sick due a mental breakdown 😬

Can assure you it wasn't for the money. I only get one day of SSP (and as I haven't been in work to fill in the self cert form on the PC I won't have been paid that £30).

I was off sick one week and thankfully by chance had been put down for holiday the week after. Which according to a PP is convenient and means I was faking. Except I didn't even know I was on holiday as I a)had already been told there was zero possibility of getting my remaining holiday as a whole week and b)hadn't seen that rota yet. And tbh it wasn't exactly a "holiday" when I was too ill to leave the house bar for a few hours to attend a friend's funeral.

There's no medical treatment I can obtain, could be reffered for talking theory but it's pointless and wasting a space on the very crowded list when I'm being forced to move out of area in the next 5 weeks so any referral not come through by then are gone when I move and I'm back to square one. Same goes for the physical issues I'm currently already on a waiting list for.

I mean I get it. Life is shit for everyone and at some point you just have to pick yourself fup and crack on. What's the alternative? I've had 2 weeks to reset my brain.

I hate the guilt of my colleagues having to struggle. We are a small team and I'm aware of the impacts. But we also look out for one another and my manager has checked in several times to ask how I'm doing and also to keep me updated and tell me they want me back and it's being without me (and their sales have dropped significantly 🤔🤣)

summergin · 17/03/2026 00:16

As per PP I thought public sector and understand your frustration.

I'm guessing you're in lower management dealing with entry-level staff who are taking advantage of sick pay, and my only advice would be it’s a futile battle that you shouldn’t wear yourself down with.

BreadInCaptivity · 17/03/2026 00:29

Rather predictably we see posters accusing the OP of being rude and goady whilst also doing the same in reverse when they made clear that genuine sickness wasn’t the issue.

Unfortunately some people use certain conditions that are more easily self certifiable (such as migraines, stress/anxiety and gynaecological issues) to play the system. Saying this is not meant to demean people who genuinely experience these conditions.

I worked for decades in the private sector before moving to the public sector and my goodness it has been an eye opener.

There are absolutely a (not insignificant) number of people for whom “sickness” is a perk of the job and who do not give any thought whatsoever to the impact to their team or the tax payer.

These people are not difficult to spot.

It is not a situation where people lack compassion or understanding of genuine illness.

These people are utterly predictable in when, for what and for how long they claim sickness.

Their phased returns to work are timed to perfection and they stay “well” enough only long enough to re-start the clock or sit below the (ridiculously high) annual threshold of sickness that triggers any (usually lacklustre) intervention from HR.

There are two such members of my team. The detrimental impact is significant in wider team morale and staff retention when other team members burn out as a result of working at 120% to cover their absence. We lose brilliant experienced staff, incur avoidable recruitment costs and have a work backlog that’s proving impossible to address.

Saying “it’s a management issue” is an oversimplification. Many managers are hugely frustrated and impacted but also hidebound by HR policies (at a national or LA/trust level) that just beg to be exploited combined with skeleton staffing of a HR function that renders it ineffectual.

It just wouldn’t fly in the private sector and it’s incredibly frustrating.

Youshouldbestrongerthanme · 17/03/2026 00:33

They'd soon get their arse into work if they were self-employed! I've had half a day off sick in 18 months and that was because I couldn't see to drive due to migraine!!

xPenelopePitstop · 17/03/2026 00:41

Rather predictably we see posters accusing the OP of being rude and goady whilst also doing the same in reverse when they made clear that genuine sickness wasn’t the issue.

Nah did they fuck.

They said:

“I'm talking repeated back ache/gynae problems/migraine/back ache/sore throat/cold/depression/back ache/sinusitis/cold/sore big toe....”

Gynae problems are genuine sickness. Back problems are genuine sickness. Migraines are genuine sickness. Depression is genuine sickness.

Unfortunately some people use certain conditions that are more easily self certifiable (such as migraines, stress/anxiety and gynaecological issues) to play the system. Saying this is not meant to demean people who genuinely experience these conditions.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 That’s all you people jump to, isn’t it? “Playing the system”.

So, me for example, I have endometriosis and multiple ovarian cysts. I am often needing time off work for medical appointments, surgeries, being too sick to work due to debilitating pain, (yes back pain too!) nausea, vomiting, chronic fatigue, IBS. Which are all
caused by my endo.

You say you don’t mean to demean people
who genuinely experience these conditions, but here you are with this bullshit.

How do you know who is “playing the system” or not? How do you know my colleagues know if I am “playing the system” or I am “genuinely experiencing” this conditions? Please enlighten me!

XenoBitch · 17/03/2026 00:44

xPenelopePitstop · 17/03/2026 00:41

Rather predictably we see posters accusing the OP of being rude and goady whilst also doing the same in reverse when they made clear that genuine sickness wasn’t the issue.

Nah did they fuck.

They said:

“I'm talking repeated back ache/gynae problems/migraine/back ache/sore throat/cold/depression/back ache/sinusitis/cold/sore big toe....”

Gynae problems are genuine sickness. Back problems are genuine sickness. Migraines are genuine sickness. Depression is genuine sickness.

Unfortunately some people use certain conditions that are more easily self certifiable (such as migraines, stress/anxiety and gynaecological issues) to play the system. Saying this is not meant to demean people who genuinely experience these conditions.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 That’s all you people jump to, isn’t it? “Playing the system”.

So, me for example, I have endometriosis and multiple ovarian cysts. I am often needing time off work for medical appointments, surgeries, being too sick to work due to debilitating pain, (yes back pain too!) nausea, vomiting, chronic fatigue, IBS. Which are all
caused by my endo.

You say you don’t mean to demean people
who genuinely experience these conditions, but here you are with this bullshit.

How do you know who is “playing the system” or not? How do you know my colleagues know if I am “playing the system” or I am “genuinely experiencing” this conditions? Please enlighten me!

Yep, it is goady as fuck.
All of those conditions are legitimate. If someone is signed off for multiple months, then their GP will have said they are not fit to work, and also Occupational Health.
Managers just get a short summary about it all. They are not medically qualified enough to know someone is taking the piss.

And the PP now posting more goady shit about GPs not being able to say to sick notes for MH can get to fuck too. An agenda much?

DisappearingGirl · 17/03/2026 00:48

“I'm talking repeated back ache/gynae problems/migraine/back ache/sore throat/cold/depression/back ache/sinusitis/cold/sore big toe....”

I don't think OP meant that anyone with any of these conditions is faking it or shouldn't be off sick. I am sure we all know several good colleagues (or ourselves) who have genuinely needed to be off for one of these.

They meant the person in question is cycling through these conditions in a spurious manner.

xPenelopePitstop · 17/03/2026 00:53

XenoBitch · 17/03/2026 00:44

Yep, it is goady as fuck.
All of those conditions are legitimate. If someone is signed off for multiple months, then their GP will have said they are not fit to work, and also Occupational Health.
Managers just get a short summary about it all. They are not medically qualified enough to know someone is taking the piss.

And the PP now posting more goady shit about GPs not being able to say to sick notes for MH can get to fuck too. An agenda much?

It’s honestly infuriating.

I’ve never read as much patronising and righteous bollocks in my life.

They can count themselves lucky they don’t suffer with a chronic health condition themselves. I wouldn’t wish endometriosis on my worst enemy. The symptoms have left me suicidal multiple times.

& to read (from several posters) that “repeated gynae issues” is “playing the system” is a massive kick in the teeth.

I’m off work sick - people are angry. I’m in work and crying in pain, disturbing others - people are angry. I could stay off work and claim benefits - people would be angry. What the actual fuck am I supposed to do?

Can somebody please enlighten me what the fuck am I supposed to do?!

xPenelopePitstop · 17/03/2026 00:55

DisappearingGirl · 17/03/2026 00:48

“I'm talking repeated back ache/gynae problems/migraine/back ache/sore throat/cold/depression/back ache/sinusitis/cold/sore big toe....”

I don't think OP meant that anyone with any of these conditions is faking it or shouldn't be off sick. I am sure we all know several good colleagues (or ourselves) who have genuinely needed to be off for one of these.

They meant the person in question is cycling through these conditions in a spurious manner.

No, the OP meant exactly what she said in her OP.

That people who are off sick with repeated back ache, gynae problems etc. are “shamelessly playing the system”.

It’s literally there in black and white in the OP.

BreadInCaptivity · 17/03/2026 00:57

xPenelopePitstop · 17/03/2026 00:41

Rather predictably we see posters accusing the OP of being rude and goady whilst also doing the same in reverse when they made clear that genuine sickness wasn’t the issue.

Nah did they fuck.

They said:

“I'm talking repeated back ache/gynae problems/migraine/back ache/sore throat/cold/depression/back ache/sinusitis/cold/sore big toe....”

Gynae problems are genuine sickness. Back problems are genuine sickness. Migraines are genuine sickness. Depression is genuine sickness.

Unfortunately some people use certain conditions that are more easily self certifiable (such as migraines, stress/anxiety and gynaecological issues) to play the system. Saying this is not meant to demean people who genuinely experience these conditions.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 That’s all you people jump to, isn’t it? “Playing the system”.

So, me for example, I have endometriosis and multiple ovarian cysts. I am often needing time off work for medical appointments, surgeries, being too sick to work due to debilitating pain, (yes back pain too!) nausea, vomiting, chronic fatigue, IBS. Which are all
caused by my endo.

You say you don’t mean to demean people
who genuinely experience these conditions, but here you are with this bullshit.

How do you know who is “playing the system” or not? How do you know my colleagues know if I am “playing the system” or I am “genuinely experiencing” this conditions? Please enlighten me!

You’ve actually explained in your own post.

You have medical appointments to attend. You have a diagnosis.

All legitimate and easily evidenced.

in addition to that, I would assume your absences don’t always coincide with being allocated work that’s not your “favourite” or being put on a performance plan for poor performance.

Likewise I’m sure you return to work when you are well enough to do so, not when you’ve hit x many days of annual sickness that trigger HR intervention or the week after the annual sickness accounting period resets.

XenoBitch · 17/03/2026 01:01

xPenelopePitstop · 17/03/2026 00:53

It’s honestly infuriating.

I’ve never read as much patronising and righteous bollocks in my life.

They can count themselves lucky they don’t suffer with a chronic health condition themselves. I wouldn’t wish endometriosis on my worst enemy. The symptoms have left me suicidal multiple times.

& to read (from several posters) that “repeated gynae issues” is “playing the system” is a massive kick in the teeth.

I’m off work sick - people are angry. I’m in work and crying in pain, disturbing others - people are angry. I could stay off work and claim benefits - people would be angry. What the actual fuck am I supposed to do?

Can somebody please enlighten me what the fuck am I supposed to do?!

I have a friend who suffers from endometriosis, and she ends up in A&E in pain that she just can't control. She is self employed. No one would employ her with the amount of time she literally is in too much pain to work.
Women get fobbed off from doctors etc... "it is just women's problems", and you are left to suffer and get on with it. And people like OP who think you just need to take some paracetamol and hide a hot water bottle under your clothing at your desk in work.
People on here complain if you are too sick to work and are on benefits, but also complain if you do work and have time off sick. You can't win!

Flowers
BreadInCaptivity · 17/03/2026 01:04

XenoBitch · 17/03/2026 00:44

Yep, it is goady as fuck.
All of those conditions are legitimate. If someone is signed off for multiple months, then their GP will have said they are not fit to work, and also Occupational Health.
Managers just get a short summary about it all. They are not medically qualified enough to know someone is taking the piss.

And the PP now posting more goady shit about GPs not being able to say to sick notes for MH can get to fuck too. An agenda much?

Absolutely all those conditions are legitimate.

You’re missing the point that there are people who self certify with a variety of conditions to ensure they spend as little time at work as possible.

Its not goady to state this.

They (I would argue) demean people who genuinely suffer from these conditions rather than myself or the OP.

3691nd · 17/03/2026 01:05

Am just home from a very tiring shift. Too tired to comment.Shall wait until the morning!

xPenelopePitstop · 17/03/2026 01:07

BreadInCaptivity · 17/03/2026 00:57

You’ve actually explained in your own post.

You have medical appointments to attend. You have a diagnosis.

All legitimate and easily evidenced.

in addition to that, I would assume your absences don’t always coincide with being allocated work that’s not your “favourite” or being put on a performance plan for poor performance.

Likewise I’m sure you return to work when you are well enough to do so, not when you’ve hit x many days of annual sickness that trigger HR intervention or the week after the annual sickness accounting period resets.

I’ve only had a diagnosis for a year.

On average it takes 10+ years to get a diagnosis for endometriosis in the UK. (For me, it took 18 years).

I’ve had years and years of being in and out of work due to endometriosis symptoms and the mental knock on affects.

How do you expect women who are awaiting a diagnosis of endometriosis to go on? They will have sickness for “repeated gynae issues” without a diagnosis. (Just like me my whole adult life) Are they playing the system?

It’s not been easily evidenced at all. Not with the state of gynaecology.

You honestly have no idea of the stress of being put on sickness monitoring reviews. And performance plans. Multiple times.

I’ve not been fit to return to work after my long term sickness however when my sick pay runs out how do you expect me to live? How on earth do you expect me to pay my bills and buy food and keep myself alive when my money runs out?

Please never speak for me again. You’re wrong. Very very wrong.

XenoBitch · 17/03/2026 01:07

BreadInCaptivity · 17/03/2026 01:04

Absolutely all those conditions are legitimate.

You’re missing the point that there are people who self certify with a variety of conditions to ensure they spend as little time at work as possible.

Its not goady to state this.

They (I would argue) demean people who genuinely suffer from these conditions rather than myself or the OP.

You can only self certify for a week. After that, you need a note from your GP, and after a time, a report from OH.

workitoutnow · 17/03/2026 01:12

Yeah, I'd say YABU.

Some people, including one person in my family, work full-time but get regularly sick. She had breast cancer a few years ago and now, while thankfully in full remission, gets cellulitis at least every couple of months. She's also had kidney infections, time off to recover from cataract surgery, and a case of shingles. She's told me she can tell people are giving her looks or talking behind her back when she needs time off, but she needs her job to support her family and is unlikely to be able to find another more flexible position within her field. She's been chronically ill all her life and the cancer and after-effects are just the icing on the cake, but I know it gets to her that people think she's not trying hard enough.

If you said you were fed up with how management handle colleagues' sick leave and work redistribution, however, YWNBU at all.

Standanddeliverr · 17/03/2026 01:13

xPenelopePitstop · 17/03/2026 00:53

It’s honestly infuriating.

I’ve never read as much patronising and righteous bollocks in my life.

They can count themselves lucky they don’t suffer with a chronic health condition themselves. I wouldn’t wish endometriosis on my worst enemy. The symptoms have left me suicidal multiple times.

& to read (from several posters) that “repeated gynae issues” is “playing the system” is a massive kick in the teeth.

I’m off work sick - people are angry. I’m in work and crying in pain, disturbing others - people are angry. I could stay off work and claim benefits - people would be angry. What the actual fuck am I supposed to do?

Can somebody please enlighten me what the fuck am I supposed to do?!

Stop saying fuck for a start

ducksinarow2020 · 17/03/2026 01:14

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

xPenelopePitstop · 17/03/2026 01:14

Standanddeliverr · 17/03/2026 01:13

Stop saying fuck for a start

No.

nevernotmaybe · 17/03/2026 01:15

IngridsLittleToe · 16/03/2026 20:17

Expecting colleagues to come into work and not take sick leave whilst capable of working isn't bullying.

If you can socialise with your backache, gynae issues, sore foot, cold, flu, migraine....you can work. It's miraculous the recovery for any day not due to be at work

If you have a medical degree we might care. If not, we will laugh, and then rightly see you as far worse than anything you are suggesting those people are.

XenoBitch · 17/03/2026 01:18

Standanddeliverr · 17/03/2026 01:13

Stop saying fuck for a start

And what would that actually achieve?
I say given the comments on this thread, she is perfectly entitled to swear all she wants.