To move my DD to a co-ed school with only a few girls in her year?

[Blossomyard85]

My daughter is currently at an all-girls school that is quite small (one form entry). She is very happy there. My son goes to an all boys school just round the corner. It is a much bigger school (2/3 classes per year).

The boys' school is going co-ed and we have the option of moving our DD to the new co-ed school from September this year. We are trying to work out what to do.

Pros for moving are: easier to have both children in same school, the (currently) boys' school has amazing facilities and arguably more academic. We always had reservations about whether DD's school was going to work for her all the way up to Y6 as they have more limited e.g. sports and drama provisions due to smaller numbers. We also have reservations about the future viability of the girls' school given they now have co-ed competition which they didn't have before.

Cons for moving: the teacher our daughter would have next year is exceptional (the options of who she would have as a teacher at the boys' school are fine, just not exceptional). She would be one of a very few girls in the school.

At the moment, for DD's year group there are 6 girls (including DD) interested in starting at the boys' school in 2026 (3 of whom DD is currently in a class with at her current school). We know one is definitely not going to move, two have already confirmed that they will move, 1 likely to move move and 2 (including us) on the fence). So best case scenario is that there would be 5 girls and around 35 boys in the year. They would likely put all the girls in the same class together.

At the moment we are thinking of staying where we are and seeing how the move to go co-ed goes, with potentially increased girl numbers for 2027. We can then reassess things in a year's time.

We literally just keep going round and round in circles about the best thing to do!

A good point, although my daughter is currently 4 and I am talking about primary school level, so I don't think I need to be too worried about incel culture (yet!).

We moved DD from a small co-ed with a boy heavy year group where she was 1 of 5 girls to start year 3 at an all girls school and it was the best thing we ever did. I think you’d be mad to do it knowingly tbh. We didn’t have issues with the boys behaviour (although granted the girls school is calmer) but it was bad for friendships and the girls sports provision will be crap no matter what they tell you because you can’t form any sort team for hockey or netball with only 5 of them.
I get you have concerns about the viability of the current school but the boys school isn’t exactly being overrun with applications from girls plus she’s a sibling so I think you can confidently assume she’ll have no issue getting a place should her current school actually close.

Oh, believe me, the shit that girls have to put up with from boys starts very young.

Indeed. We had issues from Year 1 onwards. Boys hitting girls, telling them they could t do things ‘because you’re a girl’. Etc

I wouldn't move a child who was happy, especially f she is due to work with an exceptional teacher next year.

I'd also be hesitant to move a girl to a school which largely caters for boys. Very different set up, teaching styles etc which will have historically been refined to cater to the learning styles and needs of boys. Girls might well get talked over, shouted down, overlooked if they are a tiny minority in a male environment.

Would second that. There is no way I would move my daughter into that environment.

DD had issues with sexualised comments/ girls being expected to police boys behaviour/girls being expected to support boys in subjects they struggled in during year 5/6 in her boy heavy year (although nowhere near the levels you are talking about). By year 2 there was lots of chat about who was going to be girlfriend/boyfriends which some of the girls really struggled with. Boys taking over the playground space is also an issue with them trying to exclude girls - that was hard for the sporty girls. And this is in a very well regarded co-ed prep.

I myself went to a boy heavy school in sixth form and toughened up and had a great experience. There is absolutely no way I would do that to my primary aged daughter.

There is zero chance I’d move a girl to a school experimenting with co-ed unless it was for sixth form. I think un- balanced boy/girl ratios are not ideal. A genuine co-ed school is very different but I can’t see the school getting balanced numbers for a while. I’m never convinced that chucking a few girls into a very male dominated environment makes for a nice experience for the girls. I moved a girl from a school in a boy heavy year to an all girls school. She was desperate to go.

I looked at one private school that was nominally co-ed. It was 75% boys and one of the girls showing me around put me off within about 10 minutes as she was talking about the girls needing a safe space and crying at break time.

No way why are you even thinking this - leave her there until at least year 9.

Absolutely not stay put.

the boys school have appointed a ‘head of girls’ red flag- othering from the very beginning.

taking siblings first = not ready and desperate.

dont send your daughter to he a minority in a world not designed for her when you are happy with her current wonderful set up.

Having so few girls will be an absolute recipe for disaster imo.

My state school decided to try split sex classes for GCSE science, then they realised they ‘needed’ to put some girls back in to ‘calm the boys down’ and I was 1 of about 5 girls switched with 5 boys to try and help. It made one of my worst subjects almost impossible. I was quiet, shy, had ADHD (I was only diagnosed in my early 30’s) and it was mortifying. The boys were of course dreadful- loud, obnoxious, rude, disrespectful… I had to have private tutoring for science added in to do ok at it.

if dd is happy, then leave her be. You can reasses on a year by year basis.

I absolutely would not move her at this stage. She's happy, and I wouldn't choose for my daughter to be one of a few girls in a whole lot of boys. My daughters year group at school has more boys than girls, when she started the class had 5 girls and about 15 boys and it was awful for her. Boys can be lovely (I have my own) but the behavior in Group like that was,. different. I wouldn't choose that when she's already happy in a nice and homely feeling school! Maybe in future if it gets more equal.