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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To move my DD to a co-ed school with only a few girls in her year?

36 replies

Blossomyard85 · 16/03/2026 15:05

My daughter is currently at an all-girls school that is quite small (one form entry). She is very happy there. My son goes to an all boys school just round the corner. It is a much bigger school (2/3 classes per year).

The boys' school is going co-ed and we have the option of moving our DD to the new co-ed school from September this year. We are trying to work out what to do.

Pros for moving are: easier to have both children in same school, the (currently) boys' school has amazing facilities and arguably more academic. We always had reservations about whether DD's school was going to work for her all the way up to Y6 as they have more limited e.g. sports and drama provisions due to smaller numbers. We also have reservations about the future viability of the girls' school given they now have co-ed competition which they didn't have before.

Cons for moving: the teacher our daughter would have next year is exceptional (the options of who she would have as a teacher at the boys' school are fine, just not exceptional). She would be one of a very few girls in the school.

At the moment, for DD's year group there are 6 girls (including DD) interested in starting at the boys' school in 2026 (3 of whom DD is currently in a class with at her current school). We know one is definitely not going to move, two have already confirmed that they will move, 1 likely to move move and 2 (including us) on the fence). So best case scenario is that there would be 5 girls and around 35 boys in the year. They would likely put all the girls in the same class together.

At the moment we are thinking of staying where we are and seeing how the move to go co-ed goes, with potentially increased girl numbers for 2027. We can then reassess things in a year's time.

We literally just keep going round and round in circles about the best thing to do!

OP posts:
Thesnailonthewhale · 16/03/2026 15:06

What were your reasons for putting her in a girls school in the first place?

Are these independent schools?

I'd check the finances of the boys if I were you... they're probably only accepting girls because they're struggling... And if enough girls don't make up the numbers, they might close this time next year, and then you're in trouble.

So might actually be worth looking at moving them both to a different school...

Happytap · 16/03/2026 15:08

What year is she in?

Busybeemumm · 16/03/2026 15:08

I would move her. It's likely the all girls school may close if more girls join the Co ed school so you will potentially have to move her anyway. Also depends what year she is in and what she wants too at that age.

youalright · 16/03/2026 15:09

Just leave her where she is if she is happy

Hankunamatata · 16/03/2026 15:11

I would be reluctant to have such a small group of girls.

Id hold off and see what happens.

Looksgood · 16/03/2026 15:13

Leave her for next year and the exceptional teacher and listen and learn how things are going in the other school.

I wouldn't move her for a leap in the dark when she's happy and fine in the short term.

One exceptional teacher can be life changing.

Blossomyard85 · 16/03/2026 15:15

Thesnailonthewhale · 16/03/2026 15:06

What were your reasons for putting her in a girls school in the first place?

Are these independent schools?

I'd check the finances of the boys if I were you... they're probably only accepting girls because they're struggling... And if enough girls don't make up the numbers, they might close this time next year, and then you're in trouble.

So might actually be worth looking at moving them both to a different school...

Edited

There was no local co-ed option at the time. Our DS is older and when we first saw his school, we were blown away by it. When it came to DD we weren't initially as impressed by her school because it doesn't have the same expansive facilities. However, it has exceeded our expectations - she seems to be learning lots, has great teachers and is very happy there. It has a lovely, warm, homely atmosphere. She is only young and that environment really suits her for now, but as mentioned above, we have concerns whether it will start to feel too small and lacking in opportunities as she gets older.

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 16/03/2026 15:19

Im not going to mince words here. The boys in years 6-8 were so bad that we considered completely uprooting our lives and going into substantial debt to move to a place that even had all girls schools. There are none in our area. Ultimately we decided to wait it out, but it was challenging. DD hated their behavior and I could not blame her.

There is no chance I would put a girl in a situation where she was a minority in that age range.

if we are talking about years 9+ I would consider it for a truly excellent school.

Mumofteenandtween · 16/03/2026 15:20

I would plan to move her in a year. Let her have the exceptional teacher and give yourself a good chance to spy on the whole co-ed thing and then decide.

Blossomyard85 · 16/03/2026 15:30

DD is currently pre-prep.

We have seen the financials for the boys' school and it is in a pretty strong position. The move to co-ed is more about shoring things up for the future.

We are more worried about the girls' school closing in the future as it is a lot smaller and the reason a lot of girls go there is because they have brothers at the boys' school.

OP posts:
Krobus · 16/03/2026 16:04

I would leave her at the girls' school for now and see how the ratio changes at the co-ed. I assume there would be a place at the co-ed if the girls' school closed in the future. I think I would prioritise a very good teacher and being with with other girls over amazing facilities for now especially at such a young age. You could move her higher up like year 3 or year 5 to access the sport and drama opportunities.

CurlewKate · 16/03/2026 16:07

Why is the boy’s school going co-ed? Is it struggling? Be very careful!

Thesnailonthewhale · 16/03/2026 16:18

Blossomyard85 · 16/03/2026 15:30

DD is currently pre-prep.

We have seen the financials for the boys' school and it is in a pretty strong position. The move to co-ed is more about shoring things up for the future.

We are more worried about the girls' school closing in the future as it is a lot smaller and the reason a lot of girls go there is because they have brothers at the boys' school.

I wouldn't be too sure. It's a fundamental change to the ethos of the school... They might well be seeing the future and realising... So they need more pupils... And are now relying on girls

I'd definitely wait.

IAxolotlQuestions · 16/03/2026 16:20

I would not move a happy child, especially to a school with such massive sex imbalance.

We had an imbalance at DD1s first school, and it was unpleasant. The misogyny was rife and we were glad to be able to leave.

stay where you are and watch what happens. They’ll take her in a year if you want to move then, and you’ll have a much better view as to how it’s going.

Myskyscolour · 16/03/2026 16:26

So you and your DD are happy with her current school but you want to move her in one where she might only have 2/3 other girls in her class?! Why would you do that, most girls would hate it.
If her school closes then yes, you move her, but what’s the point of doing it now?
I would honestly have resented my parents so much of they did that to me, and I suspect many girls would.

Nichebitch · 16/03/2026 16:27

We had to move DD twice for work reasons (also pre-prep) and she struggled massively. I would never move her if she’s happy, don’t take it for granted

Thunderdcc · 16/03/2026 16:29

I have DDs in state schools in Y6 and Y8 and they would be very happy if all the boys disappeared overnight. DD1's favourite class is PE, she is not sporty but it is single sex.

I don't remember boys being such an issue when I was at school but I wouldn't move a girl into such a minority.

Lochroy · 16/03/2026 16:30

Not sure how you arrive at a best case of 5; presumably they expect to attract girls from beyond just your current school?

FWIW I wouldn’t move her. She’s happy and just infant school age. Easy enough to move in a year or two if she recall does outgrow the current provision and once girls are more established at the boys school.

Blossomyard85 · 16/03/2026 16:55

Lochroy · 16/03/2026 16:30

Not sure how you arrive at a best case of 5; presumably they expect to attract girls from beyond just your current school?

FWIW I wouldn’t move her. She’s happy and just infant school age. Easy enough to move in a year or two if she recall does outgrow the current provision and once girls are more established at the boys school.

We know the exact figures because we have been told them by the admissions officer and headmaster and also because we know most of the families involved. Officially, the school is accepting girls from 2027, but they had a lot of interest from families of existing (boy) pupils, so they are allowing siblings to start from 2026. They know numbers are important in the decision making process so they are being very transparent about it. There was an "assessment" day recently that all girls looking for September 2026 entry were asked to attend. For DD's year, there were 6 girls in attendance (including DD) - 4 from DD's current school and 2 from other schools.

OP posts:
Lochroy · 16/03/2026 16:57

I understand. They have to start somewhere but I wouldn’t want my DD to be in such a small cohort.

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 16/03/2026 17:26

Ponderingwindow · 16/03/2026 15:19

Im not going to mince words here. The boys in years 6-8 were so bad that we considered completely uprooting our lives and going into substantial debt to move to a place that even had all girls schools. There are none in our area. Ultimately we decided to wait it out, but it was challenging. DD hated their behavior and I could not blame her.

There is no chance I would put a girl in a situation where she was a minority in that age range.

if we are talking about years 9+ I would consider it for a truly excellent school.

I would absolutely not put my daughter in that situation either. Talk about lamb to the slaughter.

WhyDoesItAlways · 16/03/2026 17:28

Have the boys school said how they are going to cater for the girls? I went to a boys school and was 1 of 8 girls in my year, no girls in the 3 years above. We had a dedicated sports teacher so we could do netball, lacrosse and rounders instead of rugby and cricket. They out on more extra curricular activities that were more girl focused although all were open to boys and girls.

I actually loved it and wished I'd stayed rather than going back to single sex for secondary but this was 30 years ago. Now I'm no so sure I'd be so keen to send a girl to a predominantly male school.

Blossomyard85 · 16/03/2026 17:57

WhyDoesItAlways · 16/03/2026 17:28

Have the boys school said how they are going to cater for the girls? I went to a boys school and was 1 of 8 girls in my year, no girls in the 3 years above. We had a dedicated sports teacher so we could do netball, lacrosse and rounders instead of rugby and cricket. They out on more extra curricular activities that were more girl focused although all were open to boys and girls.

I actually loved it and wished I'd stayed rather than going back to single sex for secondary but this was 30 years ago. Now I'm no so sure I'd be so keen to send a girl to a predominantly male school.

They have just appointed a Head of Girls. They are going to introduce sports for the girls (e.g. netball) and girls can participate in already existing sports provision (e.g. football, swimming, cricket). There will new clubs more catered to girls (e.g. dance) but all clubs will be open to both boys and girls. Toilets and changing rooms are being adapted. They are reviewing the curriculum to make sure appealing to both sexes (e.g. when studying WWII they will ensure detailed coverage of women's war efforts).

OP posts:
UnctuousUnicorns · 16/03/2026 18:09

Thunderdcc · 16/03/2026 16:29

I have DDs in state schools in Y6 and Y8 and they would be very happy if all the boys disappeared overnight. DD1's favourite class is PE, she is not sporty but it is single sex.

I don't remember boys being such an issue when I was at school but I wouldn't move a girl into such a minority.

I started secondary school in 1982, and I can still remember the relief i felt when I learned that I had been successful in getting into an all girls school. Boys had made my life a misery in the latter years of primary school, and not having to tolerate them all day at school was bloody wonderful to me. I appreciate that others may have different experiences, including an awful time at an all girls school themselves, but my seven years there were very happy. In an ideal world, every child would be at a school that best suited them and which they were happiest, be that co ed or single sex.

sillylittlerabbit · 16/03/2026 18:46

I went to an all girls school and left with a belief that women can do anything, and women can rule the world. I felt safe and protected in that environment. Please don’t mix her with boys in a very volatile climate (incel culture), and as a guinea pig in a new school model.