Statistics mean nothing. And google is the work of the devil.
If it was a medical condition such as huntingtons where we know what the prognosis is, as well as how that plays out that would be one thing. But one which required surgery? Nope. There is absolutely no way of knowing what the prognosis is especially 30 years down the line.
Even if he was told 30 years ago that he might only live into his 40’s or 50’s (so that’s a twenty year reach there for starters, 40? Or 59???? Hmmm). The advances in medical science in the past 30 years have been immense.
I was born with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. Wasn’t actually diagnosed until 9.5 years ago.
If you look on google, the prognosis for someone diagnosed with cardiomyopathy is five years after diagnosis.
And the reason for that is simple. Most people who are diagnosed with cardiomyopathy are diagnosed at the post mortem, after they drop dead. That skews the figures somewhat and leads to those statistics including on pages such as the British heart foundation.
But dig deeper and the reality is that most people who live with especially hypertrophic cardiomyopathy are never diagnosed and live completely normal, and symptomless lives. And sometimes something happens which leads to a diagnosis. And even then, diagnoses during life is the best thing which can happen because then there is medication, which is ever advancing, to mitigate symptoms etc.
Last year I had a heart transplant.
My new prognosis is 15 years.
Except that too is based around the fact that one in ten transplant patients will die in the first year. Others will die from other conditions post transplant.
And then there are those who live normal lives for 20, 30, 40 years.
The truth is that we are all going to die.
It’s just that in some cases we get an insight into how that might happen.
But there are no guarantees. Just because someone was diagnosed with a condition which might kill them in 50 years time doesn’t mean that’s set in stone.
Your clock is ticking from the moment you’re born.
And given he’s healthy now there is 0 reason to know that he’s going to die in ten or twenty years time. And just think about that, 40’s or 50’s isn’t exactly a good guess is it? 59 is almost 60, that’s a vast difference from dying at 41, so those figures are ambiguous at best, and they come from 30 years ago.
And there’s also no telling whether it’s that condition which will kill him. Any one of us could get hit by a truck tomorrow.
Assuming you drive the chances of being killed in a car crash are not insignificant.
And yet people continue to live their lives.
I agree that if the condition was genetic that should be considered at the time. I didn’t know about my diagnosis until after I’d had children. Had I known I likely wouldn’t have.
Ironically my condition is genetic. I’ve inherited it from somewhere, I don’t know where as my parents have chosen not to be tested.
They’re in their 70’s and feel that it achieves nothing, which tbh it doesn’t. I already had the condition, them being tested wouldn’t have changed that, and they[re both in decent health.
And what does it achieve by being angry at him for something he literally had no idea about?
So you divorce him and then he lives into his 80’s while you get hit by a bus tomorrow?
I’m curious why you haven’t said what this medical condition is, is it because it’s easier to generate sympathy that way whereas if you disclosed it you would come across people who have lived through it and can tell you the truth?