To think this is rude?

[sugarshales]

So my hairdresser knows what I do for a living (it’s an office job). Twice now he’s said “remind me what you do again” and later on he’ll mention about how when he left school he made a promise to himself that he would never work an office job and that could just never be him.

I’m just unsure what he wants me to say back? Like it honestly baffles me that for no reason people will slate other people’s choices. Like I don’t say to him “I made a promise to myself I’d never get a job washing strangers hair”

Just say with a memory like his he couldn’t survive an office job anyway so no worries

Maybe you should say something like that.... "I'd much rather an office job than on my feet all day with life long back problems"! Maybe he doesn't mean it as personally as it comes across and it's more just different strokes for different folks kinda thing

Probably see upwards of 50 people a month it’s general chit chat
the fact he’s said he wouldn’t have an office job doesn’t necessarily have negative connotation about office workers

its like someone who works in an office would never work outside doesn’t mean it’s a shit job it’s just not for them

You could if you wanted to sound ridiculous. It's just chit chat

He's just trying to make conversation bu the sounds of it its not that deep!

You have one hairdresser. He probably has upwards of a hundred clients. Give him a break.

The chances of him having numerous office workers as clients are high so I think he ought to come up with better chit-chat!! And get a better memory. My hairdresser must take notes when I leave because she remembers every detail of our convos and I go once every 5 months!

The same! And I feel awful as I barely remember her name when I call to re-book.

Yes but two times he’s asked me what I do and then later says that comment.

So it’s not like I told him a year ago and think he still remembers. .

No-one slated your choices, he just said it's not for him 🤷‍♂️

An office job isn't for me either and this has come up in conversation with many friends over the years who work in offices.

It's all good.

And I don't think asking you twice is that much of a big deal considering how many people's hair he must cut.

You're massively overthinking it. He isn't obliged to remember what you do for a living. And him saying he never wanted an office job? So what? You wouldn't have wanted to do his job either?

Look, he cuts a lot of hair. He sees large numbers of people a week. He doesn’t remember them all. He has a certain set of stock questions he asks and a certain set of stock responses he gives. This is what he says to people who say they do anything that sounds vaguely office-based (despite that in practice now many ‘office jobs’ involve WFH.

It’s understandable that someone who likes being on their feet all day in a hairdressers wouldn’t suit an office job. Different jobs for different people. He didn’t say your job was shit. Stop looking for reasons to be offended

Yes, I think hairdressing is a tough gig. I have a surgeon friend who says he could never cut hair.

It can't be news to you that office jobs aren't for everyone? I could never be a hairdresser/beautician, making the same small talk all day and never knowing what little thing is going to trigger someone. I couldn't be arsed, if I did his job it'd have to be at a silent hairdresser. It doesn't mean I think there is something wrong with being a hairdresser, chatty jobs just arent for me.

I had a similar experience with a ski instructor a few years ago. The ‘chit chat’ while we were in the lifts was him telling me how happy he was to be a ski instructor and how he only lasted 2 weeks in an office job and could never do something so soul destroying again.

I just smiled and nodded. It’s a difference of opinion, there’s no ‘right’ way to do life. Some people choose fun and fulfilment in the present, others delay gratification and put themselves through soul destroying work in order to achieve financial security, home ownership and a comfortable retirement.

He’s not slating you for choosing an office job. He’s simply saying an office job wouldn’t be right for him - that doesn’t mean he thinks there’s anything wrong with you doing one. You’re really overthinking this.

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ I don’t care what people decide to do as a job and what they wouldn’t like to do. It’s not even about the job. I personally think it’s odd to make reference to someone’s life choices as negative for the sake of “small talk”.

Do you think I say to the women in Tesco “I promised myself I’d never work in a shop when I left school - thanks for the milk, bye!” or say to the mother next to me in Costa who has a crying baby “God I’d never want children”

Maybe I’m just more conscious of not making people feel like shit or insinuating that my life choices are better.

No he’s gone on to explain why he would hate it.

I don’t believe for one second if someone was actively slating a choice you made in life you’d be like “it’s cool 😊”.

Who said he had to remember what I did? It’s quite worrying you can’t grasp the OP. I would make the assumption that if someone told me what they did for living, id remember it during that same appointment. You think he can’t retain information for 40 minutes?

But no run with the assumption you’ve made that I expect this man to remember every tiny detail about it.

I think you’re the rude one

I definitely wouldn't remember someone's job 40 minutes later unless it was either something relevant to me or something particularly interesting (which most jobs aren't).

Oh, I've absolutely said to someone on a supermarket till that I don't know how they do it as having to be nice to dickheads all the time would tip me over.

Do you take every throwaway comment so personally? Your hairdresser isn't that interested in you, they're just making idle conversation.

I think I'd say "oh, I know, I could never do what you do either". My husband and I have very different jobs and are open with one another about how much we would hate the other's job so I wouldn't necessarily think your hairdresser meant anything rude by it.

Start telling him a different job every appt he asks.

Cow artificial insemination technician
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Snake milker